Recent Posts Tagged With 'subdued'

• My Tortured, Lonely Vote

  Posted on Wednesday February 27th, 2008 at 04:34 in diary, social, publicist, NASA, star trek, interpol, subdued, deep space nine, mattress police, cult of qelqoth, jpegs, offended blogger

  […] Now, I’m no NASA scientist, but I have been known to volunteer my consulting services to anyone in Google’s engineering department that I can reach by viral E-mail campaign. In return, they tell me that an average of 500 visitors/month is g...

• Up the Academy

  Posted on Monday February 25th, 2008 at 23:40 in titles, feminism, betting, chicks, amazon, aliens, social, corporations, oscars, nicknames, tom wilkinson, trickery

  […] I’m a walking body bag. If my body’s a temple, it’s the Temple of Doom. There’s even a little bald dude in there that rips out chicks’ hearts....

• Mr. Fix-It

  Posted on Friday February 8th, 2008 at 04:26 in san francisco, yoga, los angeles, laptop, Projects, wi fi, zipcar, macgyver, powerbook, strippers, repairs, hookers

  […] Once I realize that the bitching has yet to make the thing work again (this could take years), I will MacGyver it into being halfass operational with a syringe and a used condom wrapper, neither of which are in short supply in the pile under my...

• What I’m a Gonna Do?, Part 2

  Posted on Monday February 4th, 2008 at 02:14 in africa, Romance, lost, victory, dancing, mice, peanut butter, validation, traps, special forces, subdued, glue

  […] When I came out in the morning and discovered these four mice, I dropped my bloody mary and did The Forbidden Dance of victory. I deserved it. Let the dance police haul me in if they want. My cellies in the lipstick-collar prison would understa...

• What I’m a Gonna Do?, Part 1

  Posted on Thursday January 31st, 2008 at 03:38 in san francisco, TiVo, chicks, tourists, the hills, metal gear solid, mice, peanut butter, canadians, crackheads, chinatown, cosmos

  […] Great, so in addition to crackheads and yuppies, I now have to kill mice? What next, Canadians? I’m normally a pretty brave guy. I would fight six dudes if I had to; six very short, effeminate dudes with heart problems […]...

• Dirty-Knuckled Playground Bully

  Posted on Sunday January 27th, 2008 at 20:12 in vocabulary, amazon, social, guidance, greys anatomy, subdued, ass clown, tourette's, millimeter, self preservation, .45, big meanie

  […] As one who appreciates help in being directed to things I may enjoy, I am saddened to know that I can no longer find this help on Amazon, unless fool enough to accept guidance from people that watch Grey’s Anatomy. […]...

• Party Like It’s 2011

  Posted on Thursday January 24th, 2008 at 20:50 in lost, chicks, social, bin laden, cops, 2012, louis vuitton, old people, stalkers, subdued, ass clown, sleeper cells

  […] I don’t carry a phone because it makes it too easy for the sleeper cells I infiltrate to zero in on my location after I’ve sabotaged their operations. This always makes chicks both impressed and afraid for my safety […]...

• The Rich, Purifying Waters of My Millimeter

  Posted on Tuesday January 8th, 2008 at 13:34 in spam, self improvement, cocktails, irony, barbecue, consumer electronics, leader, testicles, creator, admirers, penis enlargement, eiffel tower

  […] Only testicle pulsing specimens of the female form would surround me at all times, and they would fix my cocktails and sing my praises while dancing in a celebration of the greatness that is I and my millimeter. […]...

• Tang and a Chili Dog

  Posted on Friday December 28th, 2007 at 11:16 in tea, chicks, tirade, asians, emphasis, bourbon, juices, trickery, tang, subdued, greek mythology, backwoods

  [...] Asian chicks just weren't my cup of tea. My cup of tea has bourbon in it, unless it's morning, and Asians don't like bourbon as far as I know. They prefer liquors that weren't distilled in the backwoods of Kentucky. [...]...

• Suffering in the Rear

  Posted on Tuesday December 25th, 2007 at 01:21 in africa, Identity, san francisco, models, anonymity, humiliation, bullets, instinct, guatemala, wet t-shirt, caliber, earshot

  [...] While still providing little padding and sure to be a source of humiliation in future recall as well as cause for difficulty in sitting and especially horseback riding, at least none of my more vital organs would be violated and will continue b...