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Bastard of Art and Commerce
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An idiosyncratic and foolish blog written by an overweight copywriter who spends far too much time seething quietly about the unfairness of it all.
Recent Posts Tagged With 'my idiotic job'
The Difficulties of Being a Playa
SO, there's this company. They are named after a FRUIT, a fruit that is often red, shiny and in pie. They are a company that people buy stuff from and have weird, inappropriate fetishistic feelings about. A friend,one I don't know that well, works th...
I am a bad blogger. Bad.
I've been scrambling for freelance work and I've finally hit my stride, so that's good. Now, blog: Ruby was playing dress up today with... a crutch. She was putting on scarves, underwear and old baby clothes on this crutch. Here's her monologue: "Yes...
You see civilizational collapse. Quaker Oats see GOLD!
If this ad specimen is any indication, Quaker Oats is putting their chips against our current economic system collapsing to the point where the gainfully employed are forced to commute by jetpacks, high above the churning, ultraviolent CHUD-populate...
Here's my new portfolio site.
I think some stuff is going to come out:Greg Mills CopywriterThis came from Bastard of Art and Commerce, just so you know. bastardofaandc.blogspot.com...
So I got shit-canned.
Meh.It happend Thursday. My spidey-senses had been tingling for a while (not exactly an amazing feat of prescience in the wretched whore shitbag of an economy we are living under, I know), so I was packed and was gathering work examples for my portfo...
Advertising occaisonally manages to create something beautiful
This is a promotional video created for my friend Randy's little ad agency, The Great Society. Love, love, love it. It's like a fruity European art comic, in the best sense. He also did this great documentary series on the Finnish village of Fiskars,...
Here's some web-video-viral-ad thingies I made at work.
These are the product of a very funny day listening to very funny people improvise under the able direction of the very funny Michael Blieden and Matt Price. This came from Bastard of Art and Commerce, just so you know. bastardofaandc.blogsp...
Strange and alarming ads on CNN
I don't watch the news on the Televisionic device, though when I travel for work, I turn it on in the morning to simulate humans in my lonely, pitiable hotel room.And today especially, since today we are voting for a new King or Shogun or something h...
A boring "thoughtful" entry about my stupid job
Here's what gripes me about my job, or, I guess I should say field:Triumphalist Modernity Every ad is about the with-it present, the omega point of transcendent bitchin'ness that is this moment. We were dopes in the past, the future is nerdy, or perv...
I wanted a bed. You gave me air quotes.
Irony is sublime. It can be anyway. In film, in visual art, in fiction – in all those places, irony deftly applied can’t be beat. I EAT that shit up. But in a hotel, at 10:00, when you’re checking in after six hours sitting in coach next to a c...
Some answers for Tim
Work chum Tim has been puzzling over some knotty issues as of late, and has asked to me to weigh in on this blog. Here’s the result. I’m not saying my answers are good, but I am saying I am at least trying and that should count for something. Wha...
My Taglines
Greg Mills: Because Mediocrity Doesn’t SleepGreg Mills: America’s Energy FutureGreg Mills: The Man Kids Love to Stare AtGreg Mills: Sweating for America, TodayGreg Mills: Manly enough Greg Mills: Greg Makes Life BearableGreg Mills: Smell Differen...
Here's some more.
There's fifteen of these, so I won't post all them, because YAWN. But here are the first two, to give some context: There are two future episodes that are fairly fucked up and weird, but I'm under a self-embargo until they run in public.This came fro...
Some sort of funny work stuff.
One of a series of web videos that I talked about here. I'll post more. This came from Bastard of Art and Commerce, just so you know. bastardofaandc.blogspot.com...
So, here's a work thing.
The (relatively) fun lifestyle wing of my Brobdingnagian client has a kind of cool charity program where they give a portion of the advertising revenue generated from any email or text message you send via their web mail and messaging client to a ch...
The thing that killed typesetters.
There used to be guys that hung out in ad agencies. They were the guys from the type house and they smoked Camels and drank Scotch, bought with rush job money. They dragged bluies – big marked up proof sheets of ads-to-be – in portfolios to ad ag...
My boss accidentally sums up everything that's venal and toxic about my profession
"The client will think I'm smoking crack if I show her this campaign. It's too...intelligent."This came from Bastard of Art and Commerce, just so you know. bastardofaandc.blogspot.com...
A blog by this guy.
Dotson Salutes the blog of a funny bloke who is starring in the project I'm currently working on. He (as the other folks working on this) has been doing bit after bit of wonderful ad libs and it's been a pleasure to watch. A good day for working my i...
Things to do on set
1). Wonder if directors chairs fulfill a need, other than historic continuity. 2). Roam for wireless coverage. 3). Pretend you are on a stakeout, a stakeout that requires a staff of 30, including a caterer. 4). Work out bathroom strategies (30 people...
Nothing makes me feel more like garbage than looking at casting tapes
I'm working on a project for work -- a series of comedy shorts -- that required the watching of casting tapes. I hate casting. I hate casting because the miles of mildly okay actors thrown before a cheap video camera in a cheesy, over-bright little r...
Kim and I have a laugh at my stupid name
Kim, a English person, was referencing the William Blake poem "And did those feet in ancient times... (more popularly known as the hymn "Jerusalem") at work today, a poem that mentions "Dark Satanic Mills", as in industrial mills. He mentioned "Dark...
Two of the strangest things I have ever produced in a professional capacity.
This came from Bastard of Art and Commerce, just so you know. bastardofaandc.blogspot.com...
Put me down on the murmur side of the column.
I share a large MAXI-Cube with three women. We each have our own decent-sized alcove with our own little cell and bookshelf that we can arrange our little fillips to individuality. This is fine. True, I am an anti-social swine and my days are mostly ...
Good day at work
Wrote some funny scripts before lunch. Listened to Morton Feldman's Rothko Chapel on headphones in the afternoon. That's a good routine. Think I'll make that a regular thing.This came from Bastard of Art and Commerce, just so you know. bastardofaandc...
More crap I did at work.
I've been busy! Actually, for this project I was one writer among a couple of dozen or so. Work chums Peter and Dylan were the creative leads on it. It's a political search engine featuring running commentary from an archtypical thuggish shrill Amer...
I made this at work
My first music video. It was fun. On our day off we went to Magic Mountain and rode the roller coasters. This came from Bastard of Art and Commerce, just so you know. bastardofaandc.blogspot.com...
Did you know Microsoft has their own brand of sparkling water?
It's called Talking Rain, and it comes in flavors like Lemon Lime and Kiwi Strawberry. And there's Microsoft shit all over the can. I was up at Microsoft yesterday, so I had a chance to enjoy a Talking Rain Lemon Lime. I think the can had a Windows S...
Me and Al, being nerds.
Al: "Dude, last night my friend twittered the best Xbox LIVE username: My Little PWNy."Me: "At last someone gets it."Al: "Although I think the best username I've ever seen is BilboFraggins."Me: "That's awesome. It's like a tesseract of fucking radnes...
Toilet fun!
I was in the gents at work this morning, washing my hands. There's a row of six or so toilet stalls along the wall. Things are quiet. Then, from one of the stalls, I hear: "Tetrissssss. Nice."This came from Bastard of Art and Commerce, just so you kn...
Complete CV w/ Life Lessons
Paperboy*People in nicer houses tend not to tip and are more likely to lie. *The newspaper boy’s lot is not unlike that of the sharecropper’s*Deer are not potential pets*There’s plenty of room in the dumpster behind the gas station for those he...
