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Black Zedd's Basic Literature
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A satirical account of today's corporate and business world. Learn how to not take business seriously.
Recent Posts Tagged With 'career advice'
Viva la Publicité
It’s the tenth anniversary of the movie Fight Club, the one where Brad Pitt stars as an all-knowing anti-advertisement communist who makes ‘hitting the bottom’ looks cool enough. I’m a fan of this mind-twisting flick, simply because it conve...
How To Handle A Stupid Boss
Yes it is possible that your boss is a hard-worker, he stays back every day. He can be a great communicator- he speaks with charm, and have a boatloads of charisma, his bosses and superiors adore him. But at the same time, it is also possible that h...
A Thank You Letter For Employees
Dear employees, It’s been a while since I personally write to all of you, but this time around, the times are tough, I thought you guys need a lift in spirit. I’m writing this to inform you guys how thankful I am to have such a supportive ...
The Corporate Duel: Women Vs Men
We’re approaching an era where female may outnumber male in the the population figure, so empirically it’s a matter of time before we’ll see more woman command the top seats in the chain of commands. But suffering from persistent se...
10 Best Excuses for Late Arrival
Oh no! You’re late for work! What should you tell the green monster a.k.a. your boss? Luckily you found this list- the undetectable lies to save you and your sorry career. Skip this list if you have the skills above.. Stomach/head ache T...
How To Secure Your Job
Citigroup last month announced one of the biggest layoff ever recorded- slashing 52,000 jobs. With a total of 220,000 people stopped receiving their paychecks from the financial sector alone, everyone working in banks, insurers and investment/trading...
Being Bold Or Being Stupid?
There's a fine line separating stardom and mediocrity. When you're in a situation that can propel you to be treated as a star by your company, being bold is the only decision you have to make. But wait. Being bold can also mean being stupid!Be Bold!W...
Need More Time!!!!
Ah... Time management. Another crapoholic term that will chime in your head every time you enter the meeting room...half an hour late. Most of the time you're too preoccupied, the word 'deadline' is no longer defined in your dictionary.Let's cut to t...
Free Tool To Prevent You From Being A Fool
Apart from being an average Joe, you can also be a sorry fool. So what makes you a fool?Apparently, a lot of things. But do you know some of them can be eliminated using your web browser?Yes, you can. In conjunction with Black Zedd's Basic Literature...
Your Friends, Your Email And The Stupidity
I'm sure you spent hours everyday going through your email. Do you know your mailbox is an excellent tool to measure the level of stupidity of your friends?Just count how many of your friends are abusing the saying 'Sharing Is Caring' and blindly for...
Seminars: Types of Attendees
Going to a seminar? Here's a fun thing to do instead of sleeping. Take the seat on the last row, and start identifying these types of seminar attendees.The nerdyThey're located on the front row, even they arrive late. This is because the front row wi...
How To Avoid Helping Your Co-Workers
One of the burden of the office job is when your co-workers come and seek your help- it often ends up with a burdensome task that will result to more workload.By eliminating the request from your peers alone you will free up a significant amount of w...
Do You Have What It Takes To Be A C.E.O.?
Based on the Product-Moment Correlation Coefficient study done on media interviews with today's top CEOs, I've designed a test to determine your tendency to be a C.E.O.The test was derived from the variables most common among these high-flyers, refle...
15 Tips For Your First Day At Work
If you're facing your first day at a new workplace, follow these tips closely to spring your career potential full steam.1. Arrive on-time (not earlier)And explains to your new colleagues: "People who come in early does not understand what sharp and...
Career Advice for Call Center Executives
Oh crap. This past week my ISP have decided to irritate me, everything becomes so slow, my internet speed is measured in light-years.When I called their customer call center, not surprisingly, my complaints have fallen to deft ears. Just to make myse...
Uninspiring Quotes for Your Career
**********"Ability is of little account without opportunity."Napoleon BonaparteWhatever your talent is, it's useless if you're not the best @ss-kisser around.**********"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the w...
Fight The Monday Blues. Or Not.
Everybody is familiar with this day- it's a day when zombies rise from their death, walking aimlessly looking for things to remind them the suffering is real.It's a day when your cubicle mood reaches the weekly low, it's a day when you just wish slee...
Should You Work In Big Corporations?
Lots of corporate aspirants favor big giant companies when they decide who to work for. Although generally a better paymaster, are big companies a right place to spring your career?Because when you work in companies with so many people....Rules will ...
6 Benefits From Not Getting Promoted
It's so unfortunate that you have to miss that last promotion. I know, it's kinda tough when you've set your hopes high then get turned down.FrustrationBut there's a silver lining in every cloud, once a door is closed, another one will open. Here's t...
My Expectations As A Boss
I am a reasonable man when it comes to personnel management. And surely, like most managers, I have my set of expectations for my staffs.Complete your assigned report on time. And be on 100 different committees.Spend more time at your desk to complet...
Your Work Is Full of Gaps!
Let's admit there's no way you can have a successful corporate life by being perfectly pious.Because frankly, you're not perfect (read: you're a crap).And, sadly, so does people around you. Your co-workers, your boss, the directors, and yes, even the...
Observe The Labor Day
Today is labor day.For most of you corporate employees, you're taking a day off. You rejuvenate. You regenerate. But you don't celebrate. Because you don't even know the story behind labor day.It doesn't matter really. You don't have any reason whats...
Using Statistics To Propel Your Career
As a general rule of thumb, your co-workers composition in your company follows the Bell-shape, normal distribution proportion. EXEC GROUP 1Normal distribution means most of your co-workers are Average Joe. You’ll hardly notice them. They’re ...
Never Do These In Job Interviews
Being on top of my current company, I've been on both ends of job interviews. And having seen all kind of people interviewing and interviewed, it's a politically correct move to "Share all my experiences so that you can learn something"Crap.Anyways, ...
Job Vacancy: Non-Executive Director
We're a big Marketing Consulting Agency engaged in strategic and tactical marketing consultation. In line with our CEO's request, the company is now looking for suitable candidates to attend our interview for the following position:Non-Executive Dire...
Why Salesmen Are Like Stealth Bombers
We enjoyed rapid sales increase in the recent months, and I attributed all the success to my salespeople myself. Nevertheless, I would like you to digest my advice to our salespeople- "soar the sales chart like a flying stealth bomber". Here's why th...
How To Not Get A Promotion
Cookie-cutters are hardly noticed. Unique personality sells.So, how about distinguishing yourself from your co-workers? Instead of vying for promotion, you should avoid one! Here's what you can do to NOT get a promotion:1. Demonstrate your intellige...
5 Important Gadgets for Executives
Eying your next promotion? Wanting the pride of finally telling your in-laws you're a corporate bigwig? To get there, you need some gadgets. And these 5 gadgets are indispensable for any executives:1. BlackberryThis is to confirm to your colleagues ...
