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The silly news blog. Humorous news stories you wont find anywhere else.
Recent Posts Tagged With 'silly'
One giant leap for womankind
Mary Willington, an area resident, knocked over several jewelry displays in the local JCpenney store during the after christmas sale. Mary was walking leisurely down the aisle with her cart full of sale items when she spotted the very last of a beaut...
Tips to avoid reckless christmas shoppers
We've all encountered overly eager and panicked Christmas shoppers during this time of year. You know....the ones who practically run you over with their cart trying to get to the wrapping paper display, or the ones who cut in front of you in the che...
Local resident thinks everyone in his neighborhood is infatuated with him
Local Tallton County resident, Randy Stratton, claims that everyone on his street has a crush on him. Randy says that whenever he is outside or pulls up into his drive-way, his next-door neighbors always look out their windows. "....Yeah, and you kno...
Breaking News: Frank G. farted around today!
Breaking Headlinez reporters did an exclusive interview with Frank Goodman, the man who just farted around today.Reporter: Hello Frank!Frank: Hi!Reporter: Are you through farting around?Frank: Well umm....yeah..for now.Reporter: Tell us a little abou...
Local man doesn't remember his name
A local county resident does not remember his name. He claims it is because his relatives were always calling him by different names by accident, and since they still do this, he can not remember his first name. "I've been called jack, jim, james, jo...
Area woman hollars across town
Area resident, Tiffany, went out with her friends to a club on saturday night. She told her brother that she would stay with her friend that night, and her brother, Tony, told her to "hollar at him" when she got back to her friends house, so that he ...
Local man haunted by ghost of cow
A local man says he is haunted by the ghost of a cow. Ned O'Neil says he has even seen the cow ghost with his very own eyes. "Well, I know I've been eating alot of beef lately, but this is ridiculous. I mean, what kind of beef have I been eating here...
Everyone should get out of local man's way immediately
Charles Buxter says that everyone should get out of his way immediately, no matter where he is because he is such an important person. "Are you kidding me? I'm the most important person in town, get out of my way, please.", said Charles, impatiently....
area man addicted to eating
Mike, a local, 42 year old resident, is addicted to eating. "Did you bring any snickers bars with you?", Mike asked us as we started our interview with him. "I've got to have food all the time. I even eat myself to sleep sometimes, I keep Doritos nex...
Laziest man on earth found
Bill Gibbs has been labeled as 'the laziest man on earth' by his friends and family. "He's just so lazy, he won't do anything. The only thing he seems to have enough energy to do is to go to the bathroom, sometimes. He keeps everything right next to ...
Woman farts in doctors face, doctor recovering
Violet had an appointment with Dr. Harris today and accidentally farted in his face. Dr. Harris is now recovering from the asphyxiation. He was treating her for spurs on her foot by giving her a cortisone shot, when suddenly Violet let out a loud far...
Local citizens protest temporary taco bell shut down
The local Taco Bell was shut down temporarily in downtown Wesstown today. The restaurant will be closed for renovations for approximately 2 weeks, and the locals are quite upset about it. "we want our taco bell back!", said one local Wesstown woman w...
local man makes tent out of soda caps
Otis Hampton has saved soda bottle caps for ten years, and makes all sorts of items out of them. He started out by making small things like tissue box holders out of bottle caps, coasters, and small shelves. When Otis got bored of making small things...
Britney Spears launches into outer space
Today, Britney Spears decided that she'd had enough of all the news and articles printed about her personal life and has decided to go out of this world and never come back. "The launch went smoothly, there were no complications with the rocketship s...
Man sneezes on neighbors, poses possible health risk
Don, a local area resident, was outside talking to his neighbors, Linda and Allen, when suddenly he sneezed all over them. Linda told reporters, "It was so nasty! When he sneezed, it made a horrible sound 'AAAHHPPPTTTHHH!', and all that spit lunged i...
Husband and wife call truce during fart war
Janet says that the fart war between her and her husband Ed is now over. "Well, everynight he farts while laying next to me, and it stinks to high heaven! I finally got tired of it, and decided that I was going to get him back. So one night not long ...
Man says wife wears entirely too much makeup
Tom says he has nightmares because his wife wears way too much makeup. "She really piles it on, let me tell ya. She wears so much lipstick, that she actually has to scrape it off. I think she even wears lipstick on her eyelids, or at least that's wha...
NJ woman mysteriously never pays sales tax
Deanna Davis told reporters today that she has never paid sales tax on anything. When asked if she were a part of a tax-exempt organization, she replied "no, I've just never paid it before. Not even for personal items, not sure why". State officials ...
Big Thing To Hit Earth
A U.S. official has determined that a "big thing" is going to hit earth. The U.S. official has described the 'big thing' as 13-16.5 feet across and weighs a maximum of 10,000 pounds. "We're not really sure where it is right now, we're not sure what i...
Area Man talks to TV
An area man is being kept under supervision at a mental health clinic, after being found yelling at his TV set. Lee was watching a football game yesterday, and a neighbor kept hearing disturbances from next door. Kristy, a 35 year old local resident ...
Internet blogger has major feed
Tina, an internet blogger who blogs about cooking and her favorite recipes, has 56 RSS and Atom feed links on her blog's main page. She has 20 text RSS and Atom links, 11 small RSS and Atom button links, 13 large buttons, and 12 other various graphic...
Woman left with only 80% of hair after pulling gray hairs out.
Patricia, a 40 year old area resident, is left with only 80% of her hair after going on a 'gray hair pulling spree'. "when I noticed all of those grays at the top and back of my hair, I started pulling them all, and before I knew it, I had pulled out...
Fashion Emergency Suspect Caught
Wednesday, the Stylish county government announced a fashion emergency, urging all local residents to stay indoors to avoid health risks from being exposed to an unfashionable woman that was seen walking the streets. To read Wednesday's story click h...
Man throws Rubix Cube, damage estimated at $9.99 plus tax.
Local area resident Kenny, bought a Rubix Cube at Toys R Us. He had been sitting in his easy chair in his favorite beer-stained, white T-shirt, trying to solve the cube for approximately 50 minutes, when in a fit of rage, he got up and suddenly threw...
2008 Election rumored to have a recount
Anonymous U.S. officials have said that there is a 70% chance that the 2008 presidential election will end up being delayed because of a recount. "Yeah, with all of the arguing and emotional outbursts lately, I'm betting $200 that this one is going t...
Internet sleuth offers challenge to websurfers to gain popularity for website
Internet sleuth David Marks, owner of loadedcrap.com, gains popularity to his website by loading the pages with so much crap that it is a challenge to even load his pages. "The visitors just love the challenge of it, the mystery of finding out what i...
Redneck Alert!
The town of Hairville, KY has issued a State-wide Redneck alert. "there is a redneck amongst us, and he is armed and dangerous, and drives a loud, black, Ford truck. He is 6 foot tall, has light brown hair in a crewcut style, a beer belly, and is wea...
County government announces a fashion emergency today
The Tallton County Government has announced that there is a 'fashion emergency' today. Three local residents were rushed to the emergency room today for symptoms varying from lightheadedness to vomiting. "All residents are urged to please stay indoor...
18 year old female playing hard to get from senior citizen
Donald, 71, and a local resident, claims that his neighbor, 18 year old Alicia, is playing hard to get from him. "She just wont let me near her and she ignores everything I say, damnit!", exclaimed Donald, "I dont know why she wouldnt want a cool, ha...
Cowboy can't get Boxcar Willie song out of his head
"It all started last night...", said Ted, 45 of Texas, "when I was on my way home from work, and listening to the radio in my truck. That song by Boxcar Willie called 'boxcar blues' came on, and ever since then that song has played over and over agai...
