Recent Posts Tagged With 'birthday'

• "You Got To Know When To Hold 'Em"

  Posted on Monday June 1st, 2009 at 17:25 in dad, parenting, birthday, mom, motherhood, fatherhood, casino, sears, the simpsons, luck, chance, little shop of horrors

  I hate casinos. I hate them as much as Indiana Jones hates snakes, and even more than liberals and conservatives hate critical thinking. Sadly, I can't ever quite explain to people the severity of this strange loathing I have for the wretched places...

• Big Sisters Are The Crab Grass In The Lawn Of Life...

  Posted on Friday March 27th, 2009 at 14:29 in birthday, rome, memories, gob, sister, ex-wife, rebar, fallout 3, jabba, julius caesar, someecards, gretchen

  It's my big sister's birthday, so I thought I would dedicate today's entry to her. Although, by the time you reach her age, one would think she'd be tired of having birthdays by now, yet she stubbornly refuses to yield to the ravages of time and inst...

• I Will Shoot The Tires Off Of Your Home!

  Posted on Monday March 16th, 2009 at 16:51 in Dance, birthday, bar, wrangler, club, the matrix, Deliverance, brittany, morpheus, stetson, back to the future, belt buckles

  If you've ever wondered what inbreeding looks like in person - in all of its hauntingly mangled, fleshy glory - you need look no further than a country and western dance club in southeast Texas. The sheer amount of genetic confusion taking place in t...

• Hello, Birthday!

  Posted on Friday March 13th, 2009 at 15:24 in myspace, birthday, hello kitty, usps, brittany, chuck norris, madonna, seafood, betty white, golden girls, walker texas ranger, trey

  It was Brittany's birthday earlier this week, and I think it went well for her. (Incidentally, it was also her sister's birthday, as I suspect at least some of you figured out, what with the whole twins thing and all.)Middle of the weekday birthdays ...

• Go, Shorty!

  Posted on Tuesday March 10th, 2009 at 17:15 in Twins, nicu, birthday, portal, awesome, cake, preemies, 50 cent, brittany, the shining, companion cube, charissa

  I know I've been AWOL the past couple of days. I promise I have a good and very entertaining reason for it, though. Remind me to tell you sometime.But for now, Brittany's up in the big leagues and gettin' her turn at bat. As long as we live, it's me ...

• iTouch Your dsPod!

  Posted on Monday January 12th, 2009 at 15:07 in Twins, ipod, birthday, nintendo ds, presents, hello kitty, brittany, mario, arrested development, circuit city, gift wrap, hamburglar

  I was made in the 70s, in nineteen-hundred-and-seventy-four. I was born around nine months later, shortly after Baby New Year was squirted out of the universe's anthropomorphic personification womb, on January 18, 1975.Unfortunately, Brittany's paren...

• Out Of The Mouths Of Babes...

  Posted on Tuesday November 18th, 2008 at 08:49 in dad, vacation, flowers, birthday, Father, european vacation, brittany, nephews, christie brinkley, bouquet, ftd, cheaters

  Yes, I know it's Tuesday. Yes, I have a valid excuse for not posting yesterday. No, you don't get to hear it. Let's move on!So this weekend saw my father's 60th birthday come and go. My thrice-pregnant sister and her brood came down for the event, an...

• I Once Was Found, But Now I'm Lost...

  Posted on Monday October 27th, 2008 at 15:38 in lost, coffee, birthday, gps, houston, starbucks, carrots, brittany, nephews, navigation, steven king, hp lovecraft

  My oldest nephew turned seven this weekend, so Brittany and I headed over to Houston to attend his party. It was at an old supermarket building that has been converted into a giant fun center filled with enormous inflatable jumpers. Big kids are enco...

• Baby, baby...

  Posted on Friday October 24th, 2008 at 15:03 in baby, kids, mother, abortion, birthday, toddler, nephews, silent hill, family feud, spooky, mommy dearest, the munsters

  I failed to pick up anything containing chocolate yesterday, but I did go to the supermarket to acquire the supplies necessary to bake up a nice pan of gingerbread. I even got Cool Whip and everything!It turns out that I did, in fact, upset Brittany ...