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Recent Posts Tagged With 'jokes'
Blonde Joke
Why did the blonde have lipstick......
Thanksgiving Day Jokes
Time fo a laugh......
Mclovin
A nerdy man walks into a bar......
A Million Ducks
A man walks down the street......
Bug’s Mind
What's the last thing to go through a bug's mind......
Little Johnny’s mother is taking a bath…
Little Johnny’s mother is taking a bath, having recently been discharged from hospital where she had all of her pubic hair removed. Johnny comes into the bathroom as she’s drying off, and asks her what happened to the hair. “I’...
The Amish go to town
An Amish boy and his father rode into town to visit a new shopping mall. All that they saw had them reeling in amazement, but the one thing that really caught their eye was a pair of shiny ‘walls’ that could slide open and close effortlessly shut...
The History Of Man
Adam was hanging around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely. So, God asked him, “What’s wrong with you?” Adam said he didn’t have anyone to talk to. God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a...
My Greatest Sin
Three nuns on a train had been getting to know one another and decided to tell each other what their greatest sins were. The first nun says, “My greatest sin is sex. Every year I go out for a week and work as a prostitute. Of course, I put all ...
Opposites
At a southern university, students in the psychology program were attending their first class on emotional extremes. “Just to establish some parameters,” said the professor to the student from Arkansas, “what is the opposite of joy?...
Can I help you?
A young businessman had just started his own firm. He had just rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques. He saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to p...
Blowing Chunks - Joke of the Day
A man goes into a bar and proceeds to get completely plastered. If there was a falling-down drunk, he’d be a glued-to-the-floor drunk. The barkeep pours him into a cab to take him home. Next evening, the man returns still looking pale and hungo...
Leaving a cafe with his morning cup… - Joke of the Day
Leaving a cafe with his morning cup of coffee, a man notices an unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. Moving up the street slowly is a black hearse, followed closely behind by a second black hearse. Behind this, with head bowed,...
Eat your words - Joke of the Day
A man’s running his eye over a menu in a restaurant when his attractive waitress asks him what he’d fancy. “A quickie, please” “Sir,” she says, “I’ll ask you one more time, is there anything that takes your fancy?” “Yes,” says t...
A drunk goes to the doctor complaining…
A drunk goes to the doctor complaining of tiredness and headaches. “I feel tired all the time,” he slurs. “My head hurts, I’ve got a sore arse, and I’m not sleeping. What is it, Doc?” Frowning, the doctor examines him before standing back...
A married couple receive a bank statement… - Joke of the Day
A married couple receive a bank statement with a huge overdraft. They also receive a final demand for the gas bill. So they agree to save money. That evening, they are watching TV when the man gets up and tells his wife that he’s off down the p...
Smelling And Hearing - Joke of the Day
An elderly woman goes to the doctor. She says, “Doc, it’s terrible, I pass gas all the time. Fortunately, it’s odorless and silent, otherwise I’d be mortified. For example, I’ve passed gas ten times just since we’v...
Accused Of Old Age - Joke of the Day
Have you been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking… surely I cannot look that old? You may enjoy this short story. While waiting for my first appointment in the reception room of a new dentist, I noticed his certificate, which ...
Sick Note - Joke of the Day
A guy goes to the doctor, and says, “Doc, I feel like I’ve got something lodged in my asshole.” The quack has a peek and says, “I can definitely see something.” So he gets his tweezers and pulls out a $50 note. Then another £50 pounds then...
The Gas Men - Joke of the Day
Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood. They parked their truck at the end of the alley and worked their way to the other end. At the last house, a woman lookin...
The Barber - Joke of the Day
A man was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome. He mentioned the trip to the barber who responded, “Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It’s crowded, dirty and full of Italians. You’re crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you ...
Blonde Alligator - Joke of the Day
A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated, the blonde shouted,...
Three Girls Go Camping - Joke of the Day
One day three women went camping - a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. The blonde suddenly had to go to the bathroom. She went into the woods with her toilet paper and did her business. While she was gone, the brunette and the redhead decided to play...
Potential & Reality - Joke of the Day
A kid comes home from school with a writing assignment. He asks his father for help. “Dad, can you tell me the difference between potential and reality?” His father looks up, thoughtfully, and then says, “I’ll demonstrate. Go ...
Yankees -vs- Red Sox - Joke of the Day
A teacher asks her students if they’re Yankees fans. All of the hands go up except for one student. “Okay, Bobby. What team are you a fan of?” “The Red Sox.” “Why’s that?” “Well, my parents are bo...
Disney World And Viagra - Joke of the Day
Q: What do Disney World & Viagra have in common? - A: They both make you wait an hour for a two-minute ride!...
Oh, Those Darn Lawyers - Joke of the Day
Two lawyers, Jon and Amanpreet, head out for their usual 9 holes of golf. Jon offers Amanpreet a $50 bet. Amanpreet agrees and they’re off. They shoot a great game. After the 8th hole, Amanpreet is ahead by one stroke, but cuts his ball into th...
That’s A Buncha Bull - Joke of the Day
A man was visiting Spain and passed by a restaurant in Madrid after a bullfight. They were advertising that they served the balls of the bull who lost the bullfight. Intrigued, the man went inside, only to find that where was a six-week waiting list ...
Stewed Tomatoes - Joke of the Day
A guy is going on an ocean cruise, and he tells his doctor that he’s worry about getting seasick. The doctor suggests, ”Eat two pounds of stewed tomatoes before you leave the dock.” The guy replies, ”Would that keep me from ge...
Knock-knock Jokes - Joke of the Day
Who’s there? Gene. Gene who? Gene-e-alogy. Who’s there? Kathy. Kathy who? Kathy you again? Who’s there? Juliet. Juliet who? Juliet me in?...
