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Don Hite
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Tags: Break Time, By Request, Microsoft SQL Server, Odds & Ends, PowerShell, SMS 2003 SQL Queries, Vbs Scripts
Recent Posts Tagged With 'break time'
Husbands Vs Horses
Good Things About Husbands: A husband with a belly-ache doesn't have to be walked. A lame husband can still work. Feeding a husband doesn't require anything that even mildly compares with the hassle of putting up hay. For a ...
Artsy Grab Bag Of Links
Paint Like Jackson Pollock http://www.jacksonpollock.org Monte Python's Silly Walks Generator http://www.sillywalksgenerator.com ...
Things Not To Say To Your Farrier
Are you sure you have them on the correct foot? Boy, you must have a strong back to bend over all day like that. Can we shoe him in the arena? If he rears in the barn, he hits his head. Can you come back? We are home now. Can you put thes...
Why
Why are dogs noses always wet? Why are the little Styrofoam pieces called peanuts? Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii? Why are they called 'Jolly Ranchers'? Who said that the ranchers were jolly? Why are women and men's ...
Three Stooges Film Shorts Quotes
And what were you doing in Paris? - Oh, looking over the Parasites. Are you familiar with the Great Wall of China? - No, but I know a big fence in Chicago. Burnt toast and a rotten egg? Whatta ya want that for? - I got a tapeworm and that...
I Know Next To Nothin’ Bout ‘Ography
How well do you know where all 50 states are? http://www.dailyhaha.com/_flash/all_50_states.htm How about Europe ? http://www.mapmsg.com/games/statetris/europe If you did as bad as I did then find out if you really are an ...
If
If a bunch of cats jump on top of each other, is it still called a dog pile? If a kid refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest? If an escalator breaks down, does it become stairs? If K.F.C Stands for Kentucky Fri...
All I need to know in life I learned from my horse
A swift kick in the butt will get anyone's attention. Act dumb when faced with a task you don't want to do. Eat plenty of roughage. Everyone loves a good, wet, slobbery kiss. Follow the herd. That way, you can't be singled out...
Weird Facts And Wacky Usages
Learn the weird histories and bizarre facts behind these products. http://www.wackyuses.com/weird.html Discover hundreds of little-known uses for well-known products, by just clicking on a product! http://www.wackyuses.com/uses.html &nb...
How
How can something be "new" and "improved"? Was it “old” and “crappy” before? How come all of the planets are round? How come cat’s rear ends go up when you pet them? How come lemon washing up ...
How To Annoy People At Work
Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire working area. Insist to others that you like it that way. As often as possible, skip rather than walk. Ask people what sex they are. At lunchtime, sit in your p...
Animal Quiz
What is the loudest animal, either at sea or on land? a) Blue whale b) Howler monkey c) Crocodile d) Frog Can you guess the fastest bird? a) Pigeon b) Hummingbird c) Peregrine falcon d) Parrot What is the fastest cat? ...
Ten Things A Husband Should Never Mutter
Don't you have some laundry to do, or something? Is there anyway we could do this via e-mail? Looks like someone had an extra bowl of *** Flakes this morning. No, really, I was laughing about...this joke I heard one time. Ooh, you are...
Office Spam ChattaBlogs
The Office Spam ChattaBlogs: Things that make you say aw crap http://officespam.chattablogs.com/archives/2006/12/things-that-make-you-say-aw-crap.html Lips That Touch Liquor Shall Not Touch Ours http://officespam.chattablogs.com/archiv...
IBM Field Engineer Memo On Mouse Balls As FRU's
Abstract: Mouse Balls Available as FRU (Field Replacement Unit) Mouse balls are now available as FRU. Therefore, if a mouse fails to operate or should it perform erratically, it may need a ball replacement. Because of the delicate natur...
Celebrity Hairstyles If They Were Women
What kind of hairstyles would Leonardo Decaprio, Harry Potter, Jim Carrey, Bill Gates, Bruce Willis, George Clooney, Jay Leno, George Foreman, Ashton Kutcher, Ben Affleck, Sean Penn, Mat Damon, Orlando Bloom and Nicolas Cage have if they were ...
New Employee Manual
Welcome aboard! You are one of our most valued new employees. Enclosed please find some helpful guidelines to company policy. Overtime The Company has an optional overtime policy - you have the option of working forty hours of overtime...
By Request Get ConfigMgr Remote Control Driver Version
This By Request VBS Script will allow you to retrieve the ConfigMgr Remote Control Driver name and version for a specified machine. VBS Script: strComputer = InputBox ("Enter Machine Name") Set objWMIService = Ge...
If Life Was Like A Computer You Could
Hit "Any Key" to continue life when ready. If life gets too noisy, turn off the speakers. If you messed up your life, you could press "Ctrl, Alt, Delete" and start all over! To add/remove someone in your life, click settin...
Humor In Classified Ads
83 Toyota hunchback -- $2000 Bill's septic cleaning "we haul American made products" Cows, calves never bred. Also 1 gay bull for sale. Found: dirty white dog. Looks like a rat. Been out awhile. Better be reward. Free puppie...
American Presidential Rare Facts
In warm weather, 6th president of the United States John Quincy Adams customarily went skinny-dipping in the Potomac River before dawn. 9th U.S. president William Henry Harrison was inaugurated on a bitterly cold day and gave the longes...
Seven Mother Goose Riddles
Try to guess what objects the riddles are referring to. 1. As round as an apple, as deep as a cup, all the king's horses can't pull it up. 2. In marble walls as white as milk, lined with a skin as soft as silk, within a ...
The Best Things About Being Male
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds. You can rationalize any behavior. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. Your public bathroom lines are 80 percent shorter. Princess Di’s death was just another obituary. You get...
The Lost Dr. Seuss Books
Are You My Proctologist? Fox in Detox How the Grinch Stole Columbus Day Oh, the Places You'll Scratch and Sniff! The Cat in the Blender The Flesh-Eating Lorax Who Shat in the Hat? Yentl the Lentil Your Colon Can Moo---Can You? Zippy the R...
Password Security Guidelines Version 2.2B
Due to new security policies, the following guidelines have been issued to assist in choosing new passwords. Please follow them closely. Passwords must conform to at least 20 of the following attributes. Minimum length 12 characters. N...
If They Only Knew In The 1950’s
Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging a dime just to mail a letter? Did you see where some baseball player just signed a contract for $75,000 a year just to play ball? It wouldn't surprise me if someday they'll be m...
If You Can Remember Any Of These You Are Nearing Retirement Age
Being sent to the drugstore to test vacuum tubes for the TV. When a quarter was a decent allowance and another quarter a huge bonus. When all of your male teachers wore neckties and female teachers had their hair done, everyday. When any pare...
The 12 Step Program of Recovery For Web Addicts
I will call someone on the phone who I cannot contact via the Web. I will eat breakfast with a knife and fork and not with one hand typing. I will get dressed before noon. I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and read my Paper newspa...
Out Of The Mouths Of Babes
A pencil without an eraser may as well just be a pen. All libraries smell the same. Don't say that the "Last One is a Rotten Egg" unless you're absolutely sure there's a slow kid behind you. Don't sneeze when some...
Quiz For The Bored
How can you arrange for two people to stand on the same piece of newspaper and yet be unable to touch each other without stepping off the newspaper? How many 3-cent stamps are there in a dozen? A rope ladder hangs over the side of a ship. The...
