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Recent Posts Tagged With 'famous'
4th of July Jokes
4th of July Jokes Funny Jokes – 4th of July Jokes How is a healthy person like the United States? They both have good constitutions! What quacks, has webbed feet, and betrays his country? Beneduck Arnold! What’s big, cracked, and carries...
Funny Jokes – Bee Sting
Bee Sting A young woman had been taking golf lessons. She had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting. Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for help and to complain. Her golf pro saw h...
I’ll hold your monkey for you
Funny Jokes … A woman gets onto a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, &#...
Mother’s Day Jokes
Mother’s Day Jokes Mother’s Day versus Father’s Day A family was having dinner on Mother’s Day. For some reason the mother was unusually quiet. Finally the husband asked what was wrong. “Nothing,” said the woman. ...
Swine Flu Symptoms
Swine Flu Symptoms Swine Flu Jokes Tweet This! Twitter Top 10 Signs of Having Swine Flu 1. Tears flow from your small eyes during a nightly bedtime reading of Three Little Pigs 2. A small curly tail is growing at the top of your tailbone 3. When cal...
Swine Flu Jokes
How to avoid the flu Swine Flu Jokes Tweet This! Quotes Sayings Recipes Jokes Twitter Eat right! Make sure you get your daily dose of fruits and veggies. Take your vitamins and bump up your vitamin c. Get plenty of exercise because exercise helps bui...
SURGICAL REPAIR
SURGICAL REPAIR Sam and John were out cutting wood, and John cut his arm off. Sam wrapped the arm in a plastic bag and took it and John to a surgeon. The surgeon said, “You’re in luck! I’m an expert at reattaching limbs! Come back...
Funny Adam and Eve Joke
One day, Adam sat outside the Garden of Eden shortly after eating the apple, and wondered about men and women. So looking up to the heavens he said, “Excuse me God, can I ask you a few questions?” Funny Jokes God replied, “Go on A...
Why Parents Drink
Funny Jokes - Why Parents Drink A father passing by his son’s bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to ‘...
Funny Kid Jokes
Proverbs? Kids say the darnedest things. Funny Quotes A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It’s hard to be...
What an excellent enhancement to twitter replies
Posted today on the twitter blog, they have made it easier to find out all about who is mentioning you in their tweets. In the past, you had to go to Search.Twitter.com and search for your user name to see all those who had mentioned you. Now they...
Irish Jokes
Irish Jokes Irish Quotes St. Patrick’s Day Quotes An Irishman is never drunk as long as he can hold onto one blade of grass to keep from falling off the earth. - Irish Saying Shortest Irish joke ever: Two Irishmen walk out of a bar Q: What’s...
Real Estate Jokes
Real Estate Jokes This blog is called Funny Jokes and I post funny jokes, stupid jokes and silly jokes from time to time. I was looking at source material from our long running Funny Jokes Mailing List and came across a few real estate related jokes...
Needing Medical Help
Needing Medical Help http://jokesfunny.wordpress.com/ “Doctor, Doctor, You’ve got to help me - I just can’t stop my hands shaking!” “Do you drink a lot?” “Not really - I spill most of it!” Posted in Com...
Funny Stories - Cat Humor
Funny Stories Cat Humor Kathee Austin Larry, a local football star, is jogging down the street when he sees a building on fire. A lady is standing on a third story ledge holding her pet cat in her arms. “Hey, lady,” yells Larry, “Throw me the c...
Funny Stories - Baseball in Heaven
Funny Stories Baseball in Heaven Humor Editor Two ninety-year old men, Moe and Sam, have been friends all their lives. It seems that Sam is dying, so Moe comes to visit him. “Sam,” says Moe, “You know how we have both loved baseball all our liv...
Funny Stories - Chicken Legs
Funny Stories Chicken Legs By Kathee Austin I grew up hating my legs. It was bad enough they were skinny, but worse yet were those darned boney knock-knees. As an adult I’ve come to accept what is and learned to get on with my life! I try not to le...
Football Math Test
Football Math Test A football coach walked into the locker room before a game, looked over to his star player and said, “I’m not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we need you in there. So, what I have to do is ask you a ...
Caught Speeding
Motorist Caught Speeding A speeding motorist was caught by radar from a police helicopter in the sky. An officer pulled him over and began to issue a traffic ticket. “How did you know I was speeding?” the frustrated driver asked. The poli...
Cat Jokes - Theories Of Cat Behavior
Clean Jokes Cat behavior - Theories Of Cat Behavior LAW OF CAT INERTIA A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force, such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse. LAW OF CAT MOTION A cat will move...
Priests Retirement Dinner
Funny Jokes Priest’s Retirement Dinner Retirement Dinner A priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to giv...
FAMOUS PEOPLE: JOB INTERVIEWS
Funny Jokes JOKE: FAMOUS PEOPLE: JOB INTERVIEWS Julius Caesar - My last job involved a lot of office politics and back stabbing. I’d like to get away from all that. Jesse James - I can list among my experience and skills: leadership, extensiv...
Truth and the Fisherman
Fishermen and the Truth A fisherman got such a reputation for stretching the truth that he bought a pair of scales and insisted on weighing every fish he caught in front of a witness. All went well until, one day a doctor borrowed the scales to weig...
Famous People - Viking Explorer
Famous Viking Explorer Funny Jokes Groan Warning A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official who apologized profusely, saying, ...
Funny Quotes - Canada
Quote of the Day - Funny Quotes - Canada Canada is a country whose main exports are hockey players and cold fronts. Our main imports are baseball players and acid rain. - Pierre Trudeau More Funny Quotes Posted in Clean, Comedy, Entertainment, Famous...
Clothing Salesman
Clothing Salesman When the store manager returned from lunch, he noticed his clerk’s hand was bandaged, but before he could ask about the bandage, the clerk said he had some very good news for him. “Guess what, sir?” the clerk said....
8 Word Definitions
8 Word Definitions 1. THINGY (thing-ee) n. Female……Any part under a car’s hood. Male……..The strap fastener on a woman’s bra. 2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. Female…..Fully opening up one’s self emoti...
Funny Jokes - College Humor
Funny Jokes - College Humor - University Examination It was the final examination for an introductory English course at the UW. Like many such freshman courses, it was designed to weed out new students, having over 800 students in the class! The e...
Funny Jokes - Skeletons
Q: Who won the skeleton beauty contest? A: No body Q: What do skeletons say before they begin dining? A: Bone appetit ! Funny Jokes - Skeletons Q: When does a skeleton laugh? A: When something tickles his funny bone. Q: Why didn’t the skelet...
MEDICAL INSURANCE EXPLAINED
MEDICAL INSURANCE EXPLAINED Q. What does HMO stand for? A. This is actually a variation of the phrase, “HEY MOE.” Its roots go back to a concept pioneered by Moe of the Three Stooges, who discovered that a patient could be made to forg...
