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Funny Phobic
http://www.funnyphobic.com
Just about everyone is afraid of something. I am, on the other hand, afraid of everything. Without playing favorites, let me tell you that my list of anxieties includes fear of heights, dentists, flying, technology, food, elevators, failure, bridges, earthquakes, choosing where to be buried, growing old and a prolonged erection. I am even afraid of ugly people or in medical parlance: unattractiphobia.
My phobias began the moment I was born. After months of confinement in a safe haven I was suddenly and reluctantly thrust out into the open space of the delivery room. I panicked and was immediately diagnosed by the medical staff as suffering from agoraphobia, a fear of outside space. To my chagrin, going back was not an option.
And so it went over the years, succumbing to one phobia after another. Phobia’s, like hurricanes, come in different categories. I would qualify as a category 5 and consequently now like to think of myself as a world-class phobic whose myriad fears embrace many of life’s daily experiences. Sadly I continue to obsess about most everything including things that may never happen.
These dissertations have been written by me, Roger Lefkon, not from a medical or scientific point of view but rather as a collection of comedic and confessional essays. As you read further you will undoubtedly begin to identify with some of my favorite phobias. This experience may not cure what ails you, but it will certainly entertain you and probably make you feel better knowing that you are not me.
- Added on: Apr 24th, 2009
- Country: United States
- Language: English
- Author: Roger Lefkon
- Listed in: Humor Observational Humor
- Tags: funny humor Observations fear phobia nuerosis
Recent Posts
Fear of Friday The 13th
There is much to fear about Friday the 13th, considered by many as the unluckiest day of all; walking under a ladder, breaking a mirror, spilling salt, opening an umbrella indoors unless of course it’s raining and watching a black cat cross y...
Fear of Putting on Pounds
Dieting can be a daunting task. Eating right means choosing tofu over twinkies, mashed cauliflower instead of mashed potatoes, fresh cherries rather than cherry pie, popcorn not potato chips and seaweed instead of sausage. It is also important to kno...
Fear of Taking Prescription Drugs
Imagine this scenario: An individual writhing on the ground is experiencing profuse bleeding, severe chest pain, nausea, sudden numbness and speech and breathing problems. Sounds like a battlefield scene straight out of Saving Private Ryan right? Wro...
Fear of an Obstructed View and of Being Denied an Escape Route
Once upon a time I was six feet tall. Sadly, I can confirm to you that the average person, although I have never thought of myself as being average, loses one inch of height every 10 years beginning at age 50. So at 5’10 ½” I am fearfu...
Fear of Brushing, Flossing and Rinsing
The simple act of brushing my teeth always triggers an anxiety attack. Although I enjoy the sensation of squeezing the flexible tube (who doesn’t), I dislike the taste of toothpaste, even those that come in designer flavored gels, and have never be...
My Dog Has Inherited My Phobias
Gabby is my Yorkshire Terrier who, when we first met, was 8 weeks old (56 weeks if you rely on the human to dog years conversion table). She was cute, even-tempered, devoid of any neurosis, friendly with other dogs and most humans her size, had not...
