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The blog of the popular, life changing program "Getting Past Your Past" focusing on moving on after a devastating breakup. Change your life for the better after a crushing loss. It can be done! CHANGE YOUR LIFE TODAY!
Recent Posts Tagged With 'change'
But S/he Loves Me II
Things are cyclical on this blog. I received an email that I thought would be answered by this post and when I looked it up, I found that it was almost one year ago today that I wrote it. The person ...
Real Love Again
I ran this a little while ago, but I think it deserves a rerun today. A new reader asked in either email or a comment what real love is. Here are some of the posts on real and healthy love. I’...
Anniversary Grief
A long-time reader and seminar student wrote me regarding anniversary grief. She had been doing really well but then as the anniversary approached, she asked me what to expect. I told her everyone wa...
Intergenerational Grief Redux
After last night’s post on Where Recovery Goes, someone wrote me about intergenerational grief which is a subject that is not well researched or written on. I know because I spent almost a year...
Where Recovery Goes
When I was married to my first husband, his infidelity and physical abuse was almost besides the point. He was verbally abusive, berating me and calling me every name in the book. He was a bully̷...
Top Posts July 1 - August 1 and of all time
For new readers, I post links for the top posts of the last 30 days and occasionally run a post for Top Posts of All Time though many of these are on both lists. Here are both lists as of August 1, 2...
NC Chips August
We did this in February, March and June. Here is the August NC (no contact) roll call. In 12 step programs they give you chips for various periods of sobriety (or clean time or whatever it is youR...
Breaking Down Cohabitation and Other Times Seeing the Ex
After this post is a re-post of when you absolutely have to see the ex. But breaking down cohabitation is very difficult in most circumstances and it’s good to take the stars out of your eyes a...
The Right Person
I wrote this last year and someone over the weekend asked me how you know if someone is “right” for you. The short answer is to find the right person be the right person but the second pa...
On Transformation Redux
Today I am off to the g-sons bd party. Derek will be 2 on August 14th and CJ turned 4 on June 28th. So their combined bd party is approximately in the middle. It should take approximately 1000 hour...
Because I Love Him (Her)
I’m not sure if I’ve posted about this before, but “because I love him (her)” is not a reason for anything when someone has hurt you. Especially if they have hurt you badly an...
On Communications Redux
I had a conversation with someone today that reminded of how important it is to step out of dance when you are having difficult conversations/arguments with those who DO NOT want you to change. As I ...
Weekend Mail on Grief
The blog stats always dip on the weekends but the direct email skyrockets. This past weekend was some kind of record, I think, and it will be weeks before I get to all of them but one email struck me...
Mail. We Get Mail When They Can’t/Won’t Commit or Let Go
Thank you so much for your blog. My boyfriend and I broke up about a month ago, and we’ve still been talking back and forth and it has just been miserable. I couldn’t let go of the hope th...
Saturdays in the Park…every day’s the 4th of July
I had a nice 4th. I spent the 4th with the ex in-laws. My ex and I were high school sweethearts so I know these people from way back when. I did not see much of them when the kids were still visiti...
Am not sure about getting over it
Last summer I posted a post called “I’m not getting over it.” after I received mail from people who say to me, “I’m not getting over it. Is it possible to not get over s...
Obsession Redux
I posted this back in March but noticed a HUGE uptick in the hits this post is receiving as well as a few questions in email so I thought I would repost it here. Obsession is typically defined as rec...
“Dating Again” Again
This is a compilation with new materials of other Dating Again posts. I wrote in “Healthy Dating III” that I once went out on a date after I had broken up a relationship a few months ear...
Forgiveness III
Forgiveness starts after we do our grief work and our Relationship Inventory and our examination of the relationship and feel the spectrum of emotions. It does not start right away. It is the end, ra...
Revenge Revisited
I’ve said on here that living well is the best revenge. A saying that isn’t mine but has certainly been my mantra for the past 20 years. I’ve talked about revenge in a few differen...
Mail. We Get Mail on Suppression of Feelings
Dear Susan: My question is about suppression. i feel like GPYP is the closest thing i have found so far to an “instruction manual” for trying to work through this horrible traumatic divor...
Boundaries: Stamp of Approval = Not Needed
Someone wrote in one of the comments that someone thought a boundary she set was an “exaggerated response.” But she was keeping the clear boundary and that was that. Setting boundaries ...
Mail. We Get Mail On Changing Your Life
Comments on this post, esp from those who have been here a while…are welcome. This person is welcoming feedback from readers. Hello Susan, I sit here, struggling to bring about real and perma...
Grief, Self-Pity and Depression 2
Sunshine asked about the difference between normal grief and depression: Grieving over a loss involves some self-pity but there are healing tears and hollow tears. Self-pity alone leads to hollow t...
Sex And The City: The “Cultural Impact” Thread.
Three things: 1) spoiler alert. Don’t read the thread if you haven’t yet seen the movie and don’t want the ending spoiled. 2) I’m not an SATC fan, although all my friends are....
Grief Ends. Bank on it. Believe in It.
There was a comment in the spam queue because it had a link or two in it and any comments with more than one link (sometimes one link and sometimes no link, the spam filter is a little crazy) go into ...
The Expression of Grief
Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak whispers the o’er-fraught heart and bids it break. - William Shakespeare I’ve used this quote before to talk about expressing grief. Becau...
The Healing Power of Grief
I received an email today and I started to explain this and then realized I had posted about it early on. I know I’ve said this several different ways and some of this is from other posts and t...
Courage to Change II
For M.A. Hope this helps. Stick close. We are HERE for you! “In the depth of winter, I finally learned that there was within me an invincible summer.” - Albert Camus It is in our darke...
Honoring the End
Many times I read posts and emails from people who, hurt and upset, turn their wrath on the soon-to-be-ex and say things like, “Our relationship never meant anything to you.” or “I j...