Recent Posts
Recent Posts Tagged With 'shit'
BLOODLUST ?
Not hardly.A cool cover DOES NOT the awesome magazine make....and just WHAT IS IT with this vampire craze we're experiencing as of late ? Oh....this issue has nothing to do the vampire "craze", this issue has vampires on it BECAUSE IT SUCKS OUT LOUD ...
"Turd Verification".
Yep, I've evidently got one ! Oh, it just keeps getting SHITTIER AND SHITTIER at H.B.A.G. this week, folks !H.B.A.G. World Headquarters is again up and running, but now I've got some kind of automated? Asian troll by the name of "兩津" POUNDING AW...
BREAKING NEWS !
Due to a tree-trimming mishap beyond Heff's control, Heff's Bar And Grill World Headquarters (where I schedule all of my posts from) is CURRENTLY DOWN. We apologize for this MAJOR INCONVENIENCE, and REMIND YOU : I will STILL be around to pollute all...
Bathing With The Drunken Heffer/Quick Heff Friday - Combo Platter !
Ever know one of those people that takes WAAAY too many vacations or half-days from work, thus ignoring his or her blogging duties ?Oh, Yes - It's once again time for Heff to RIP SOMEONE OFF !Heff's Bar And Grill takes on BDS's "2 Dollar Productions"...
MY SUFFERING IS ALMOST OVER !
As many of you are aware, Heff is often subjected to the cruel and unusual punishment of "Reality" televison shows. American Idol is one of the shows that I'm viciously forced at breast-point to witness, but it's certainly NOT the worst of them. I di...
Metal Monday ?
Well folks, what can I say ? I fully intended on posting several new live Butlik videos for your amazement today, but things don't always go as planned when alcohol is added to the mix. With a new setlist, the material came off WEAK at best. The jam ...
Weekend Porking.
With a rainy weekend at hand, Heff and Donna were not able to venture out of our pen and frolick in the sun as normal for this time of year. Outdoor grilling ? - Nope, not an option.With the weekend possibly a complete "boar", I got to thinking of po...
"Your Low Price Leader"
Just got through shopping for some new hygiene companion products in the "Health & Beauty Aids" section at the Fred's.... I just hope that somewhere down the line I don't end up getting these two items mixed up....Have a Great weekend, Ass Scratc...
April Fool ?
A couple of weeks ago I made my normal trip to the gas pump to fill up and purchase our weekly supply of Cowboy Killers. Normally I had paid around 30 bucks for a carton, which I always thought was SOMEWHAT reasonable. This time however, they were ov...
And Now A Word From Our Sponsor...
Ok - NO words, actually. Have a GREAT weekend....
LMAO !!
Heff got in a lot of trouble back in the day, but NEVER for THIS !!! (Not for lack of trying, of course.)...
"But, they'll MISS You..."
"It's Twitter, WITH LAME APPS !!!!""Heff may ALSO want to add (insert random bastard's name here) as a friend. "Or perhaps NOT, Disgracebook.- DELETE - That is all.(Heff image taken from an original black & white oil-on-canvas by Idobcool) ...
"Baby, it's COLD outside..."
From the mind of "The Donna"....We've had abnormally cold weather here for the last week or two (in the teens), and Donna has just about been freezing her tight little fanny off. Thank God she knows how to keep herself dressed warmly without compromi...
The Downward Spiral... *UPDATED AGAIN !*
FROM THE VAULT !A Heff 1970's "Closet Classic" revealed !WARNING : THE FOLLOWING PHOTO EXPLAINS A LOT ABOUT THE ACTIONS AND LIFESTYLE OF MODERN DAY HEFF - *PROCEED WITH CAUTION* "Mama always DID dress me funny..."Yes folks - during my youth, the mean...
"Don't It Make My Brown-Eye Blue ?"
Once again supplies ran low at the House Of Heff at the worst possible moment, and this time I refused to use kitchen paper towels to meet my immediate defecation needs. The other day Donna had to make an emergency run to the local Fred's (dollar sto...
HAPPY NEW BEER 2009 !!!
"Rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated..."Damn, Baby New Year 2009 looks ROUGH !!! Without question, he needs a "change", as 2008 was a VERY SHITTY year !Against my better judgement, I've decided to continue blogging although the posts ma...
Economic Hardshit !
Times are tough, my friends. Saturday night Heff's Bar and Grill ran out of toilet paper, of all things. How in the HELL did I let THAT happen ?!? It wasn't noticed until I was ON THE THRONE halfway through "Paying the Band", of course. Thank God I w...
The PEOPLE have spoken.
First of all, I'd like to thank all the "Blue Bloggers" for voting IN DROVES in key states yesterday. I've been a strong advocate of CHANGE all my life. Heff and party experienced an electoral ass raping last night, and I must admit, was moved to tea...
Heff Has Spoken.
*NOTICE* : Due to long lines at the polling areas around the country, ALL OBAMA SUPPORTERS are asked to please vote tomorrow. Thank You....
HEFF'S BAR AND GRILL ONE YEAR BLOGOVERSARY PARTY !
Titties and Beer For One Whole Year ! Hey, it IS Breast Awareness Month, or some shit like that, anyway...It's a special day, folks. 1 year ago today, Heff's Bar and Grill was founded. This may not seem like much, but it's a monumental achievement f...
