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Idiocrasies Of The English Language - That are fun and funny
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A blog about what is fun and funny with the English Language and added with lots of poems, games and puzzles.
Recent Posts Tagged With 'puns'
Construction Site Murder
A workman was killed at a construction site. The police began questioning a number of the other workers. Based on past brushes with the law, many of these workers were considered prime suspects. They were a motley crew: The electrician was suspected ...
Pun with Coffee
* Stealing someone's coffee is called 'mugging'.* Coffee has bean the grounds of many a heated and strong discussion.* Does a coffee shop have the grounds to operate in the black?* Selling coffee has its perks for those who have bean so lucky.* I jus...
Fun with Puns
What happened when the cow tried to jump over a barbed wire fence? Udder destruction.When I was in the supermarket I saw a man and a woman wrapped in a barcode. I asked, "Are you two an item?"What did the toy store sign say? Don't feed the animals. T...
Wizened Proverbs
- Man who run in front of car get tired. Man who run behind car get exhausted. - Man with one chopstick go hungry. - Man who scratch bum should not bite fingernails. - Man who eat many prunes get good run for money. - War does not determine who is ri...
Punny Entertainers
1. The magician got so mad he pulled his hare out. 2. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye. 3. It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it. 4. I used to be a tap dan...
Punny Around the World
A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine. The incontinent Scotsman had a wee accident. Show me someone in denial and I'll show you a person in Egypt up to thei...
Naturally Punny
Two peanuts were walking in a tough neighborhood and one of them was a-salted. When the plums dry on your tree, it's time to prune. When kissing flowers, tulips are better than one. To termites, a group of dead trees is an arbor eat'um. On organi...
Humorous Pondering
• These I have never understood: o We chop down trees but chop up wood; o We draw down wrath, we draw up wills, o We run down foes, we run up bills; o We eat food up, we down a drink, o Which is a little strange, I think. o We turn down offers, tur...
Did you hear .....
Did you hear about the optometrist who fell into a lens grinder and made a spectacle of himself? Doctors tell us there are over seven million people who are overweight. These, of course, are only round figures. What is the purpose of reindeer? It mak...
Punny Business
Women who wear $200.00 perfume obviously are known to have no common scents.Once you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall. At a pet store: 'buy one dog, get one flea'. When a ladder was stolen from a store the manager said that further st...
High Tech can be Punny
Here are some puns relating to technology.1. The dead batteries were given out free of charge. 2. Talking to her about computer hardware I make my mother board. 3. He dropped a computer on his toes and had megahertz. 4. Will this computer last fiv...
Puns at Work
* He had a photographic memory that was never developed. * The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered. * Every calendar's days are numbered. * If you give some managers an inch they think they're a ruler. * He bent over to pic...
Teething Problems - Puns about Dentist
* I've been to the dentist several times so I know the drill.* Be kind to your dentist because he has fillings too.* A dentist and manicurist fought tooth and nail.* They called him the king of the dentists because he specialized in crowns.* A dentis...
Pun-ishing Adjectives
“I’d like to make a toast,” Tom said warmly. This is an adverb pun and is called a Tom Swiftly as a ridicule of the writing style found in the old Tom Swift adventure books. A variation of the Tom Swiftly is the pun-ishing adjectives. Here...
Educational Puns
1. To write with a broken pencil is pointless.2. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.3. He said I was average - but he was just being mean.4. When the electricity went off during a storm ...
DISturbingly DIStorted English
English is so versertile and can be Disjointed in many ways to create lots of Puns & Fun. Have you heard about the……disappointed chairman?…disbanded rock group?…discarded communist?…discharged cavalry?…disconcerted orchestra leader?…dis...
More Jokes
Here are more jokes that makes use of puns. My favourite is the one about the frog and the cat. Which is your favourite? 28741What did the chimpanzee say when his sister had a baby? Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle.What did the coach say to his losing...
Dismissals - Occupational Puns
When people lose their jobs they may be dismissed, sacked, fired or kicked out; they may be out on their ear or on their neck; they may be shown the door; or they may be given their cards, their marching orders, the push, the elbow, the old heave-ho...
pun with food
1. The dependent rolling pin said to the dough, "I knead you."2. "These meatballs taste like seafood!" Yes, there is something very fishy about this whole situation. 3.Eating should never make you sad, unless it is a mourning meal.4.There's nothing g...
Tom Swifties
Many years ago, boys and girl read about the adventure of Tom Swift, a young hero in stories by Edward Stratemeyer. In these stories, Tom never just said somethings; he said it happily, quickly or excitedly. Today, people write puns called Tow Swifti...
Daffynitions
Daffynitions are playful ways to define words. For example, a daffynition for the word bulldozer would be a sleeping bull.Can you guess the Daffynitions to the list of words given below?1) Someone who is no longer a cop2) The simplest way to cook egg...
Homophone Pun
Here are some riddles that make use of Homophones ( words that sound the same but are spelled differently). Can you solve these riddles? Use the clues on the right to help you.1. What do teachers say when they see sloppy handwriting?2. What do you ca...
Puns from Head to Toe
Here are some jokes about the body by making use of puns. My favourite is number 3, what is yours?1) Be true to your teeth, or they will be false to you.2) I need to cut my fingernails before they get too out of hand. 3) The headlines nobody likes ar...
Phunny License Plates
Have you ever noticed someone's license plate and laughed your head off. Yes, sometimes these license plates can be read as puns. The numbers, letters and words that make up the license plate sometimes makes me wonder who the owner of the car is. See...
Punny Stores
Storeowners often use puns in their store windows. The puns make people laugh and want to come into their stores. That's good advertising cents (sense)!Here are some examples seen on the storefronts of different shopowners. If you have come across an...
