MICHAEL NIKSIC
A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
TPH SYNDROME - IT MUST BE ERADICATED!
Hi. This is a general service public announcement. For years in the food service industry, a quiet, humiliating malady has plagued our profession as chefs. I am speaking of TPH Syndrome. Also known as TALL PAPER HAT Syndrome. Also known as Tall Paper Hat Attitude, it plagues thousands of wanna be chefs. It affects the accomplished professional as well. Its a misplaced belief that wearing a paper hat inspires respect. STOP IT NOW! ITS 2009! My God what's wrong with you people wearing a paper hat? Have you no clue how stupid this looks? Have you no clue how the general public laughs at this silly practice? Have you no clue that even McDonalds abandoned the practice of their staff wearing paper hats well over 15 years ago? How confident would it make you to see our generals wearing paper hats? How about seeing your surgeon wearing a paper clown hat before he opens you up? Would that make your day? Inspires your affirmation in the individuals skills does it?
A taller hat does not make you important. Maybe IMPOTENT, but not important. Its your actions, not that origami project gone wrong resting on your head. If you live in the States, show some Americana pride. Get a baseball cap. (Remember this-the Kepi was the first version of a baseball cap, worn by both sides during the Civil War. Save the ignorant remarks for anyone other than the hallowed dead) Nothing more American than that except maybe a Harley bandanna. Tall paper hats are a long needed to be done with tradition from French kitchens of literally centuries ago. The taller the hat, the higher the rank. Gee, go figure a FRENCH MAN thought of this. Does penis envy ring a bell? Anyone, that has actually had the misfortune of wearing those stupid hats knows they fall off when you bend over. They get knocked off by cooler doorways, thermal curtains, over hanging hood vents and smart ass chefs like myself. I can't burn enough of these hats. They are a joke. they always have been. Defending their use is the same as being a brain washed drone. At least show some style and wear a floppy chef's hat, its cool. Paper hats? No better reason to save a tree in my electronic book. Also, if you are wearing a paper hat, and fold it so its creased in the front and back. You really have issues. Its not aerodynamic! Yes it is a fashion statement. It SCREAMS you need to be dressed by your wife/ or mother before leaving the house. Nothing says clueless more clearly than wearing a paper hat and thinking its cool or professional. NAME another profession that wears a paper hat to show rank, status, accomplishment or even respect. I'm waiting! The pirate hats at the dollar store are better quality that these monuments to arrogance. Am I going too fast? EVEN Al Bundy does not wear a paper hat! Nothing says professional more than when a chef or cook puts that sweat soaked filthy hat on his cutting board or work counter. Yep, very polished.
EVEN South Siders from Chicago think its stupid. We know how they dress. I do, I'm a south Sider by birth & heritage. We need to retrain chefs across the country to rebel against this ridiculous practice of garnishing their heads with a hollow roll of paper towels. We need a grass roots movement in the culinary schools. The old guard need their heads flushed with consomme, or their shoes filled with sour cream. The next generation needs to think for themselves and trash this stupid head gear. Now, if you think I am disrespecting my profession by this rant, YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM! I am tired of us Chefs being disrespected by social - professional- peer pressure misleading us into thinking that wearing these sweat soakers is cool, visually appealing or anything else using a positive adjective. If you want to be that true to history, get a floppy hat and starch it. Then, at least you are true to the heritage of the hat. You will still look like a dope, but so does anyone wearing liderhosen. So who can throw stones at that point? Wait a minute, I CAN! And those tall hats make a great target. I have an accurate, well oiled arm, and am equally deadly with tomatoes or a Frisbee. So remember, if you are wearing a tall paper hat, and you hear an impact and it goes sailing across the kitchen onto the grill weighed down by a russet potato, and hear "Get married so someone can dress you before you leave the house you numbnutz!" it may be me or one of my newly sworn in cooking commandos.
So, learned behavior comes from repetition. I say, lets begin with the closet paper hat to you, and working your way out from there. Burn, fry, soak, shred and otherwise demolish every last one on the planet. Always remove the chef's head first. Usually the chef's head is very hard and can cause collateral damage. If you need a reason to believe a chef's head is hard, give my wife a call. She has a list ready for you:)
A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
TPH SYNDROME - IT MUST BE ERADICATED!
Hi. This is a general service public announcement. For years in the food service industry, a quiet, humiliating malady has plagued our profession as chefs. I am speaking of TPH Syndrome. Also known as TALL PAPER HAT Syndrome. Also known as Tall Paper Hat Attitude, it plagues thousands of wanna be chefs. It affects the accomplished professional as well. Its a misplaced belief that wearing a paper hat inspires respect. STOP IT NOW! ITS 2009! My God what's wrong with you people wearing a paper hat? Have you no clue how stupid this looks? Have you no clue how the general public laughs at this silly practice? Have you no clue that even McDonalds abandoned the practice of their staff wearing paper hats well over 15 years ago? How confident would it make you to see our generals wearing paper hats? How about seeing your surgeon wearing a paper clown hat before he opens you up? Would that make your day? Inspires your affirmation in the individuals skills does it?
A taller hat does not make you important. Maybe IMPOTENT, but not important. Its your actions, not that origami project gone wrong resting on your head. If you live in the States, show some Americana pride. Get a baseball cap. (Remember this-the Kepi was the first version of a baseball cap, worn by both sides during the Civil War. Save the ignorant remarks for anyone other than the hallowed dead) Nothing more American than that except maybe a Harley bandanna. Tall paper hats are a long needed to be done with tradition from French kitchens of literally centuries ago. The taller the hat, the higher the rank. Gee, go figure a FRENCH MAN thought of this. Does penis envy ring a bell? Anyone, that has actually had the misfortune of wearing those stupid hats knows they fall off when you bend over. They get knocked off by cooler doorways, thermal curtains, over hanging hood vents and smart ass chefs like myself. I can't burn enough of these hats. They are a joke. they always have been. Defending their use is the same as being a brain washed drone. At least show some style and wear a floppy chef's hat, its cool. Paper hats? No better reason to save a tree in my electronic book. Also, if you are wearing a paper hat, and fold it so its creased in the front and back. You really have issues. Its not aerodynamic! Yes it is a fashion statement. It SCREAMS you need to be dressed by your wife/ or mother before leaving the house. Nothing says clueless more clearly than wearing a paper hat and thinking its cool or professional. NAME another profession that wears a paper hat to show rank, status, accomplishment or even respect. I'm waiting! The pirate hats at the dollar store are better quality that these monuments to arrogance. Am I going too fast? EVEN Al Bundy does not wear a paper hat! Nothing says professional more than when a chef or cook puts that sweat soaked filthy hat on his cutting board or work counter. Yep, very polished.
EVEN South Siders from Chicago think its stupid. We know how they dress. I do, I'm a south Sider by birth & heritage. We need to retrain chefs across the country to rebel against this ridiculous practice of garnishing their heads with a hollow roll of paper towels. We need a grass roots movement in the culinary schools. The old guard need their heads flushed with consomme, or their shoes filled with sour cream. The next generation needs to think for themselves and trash this stupid head gear. Now, if you think I am disrespecting my profession by this rant, YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM! I am tired of us Chefs being disrespected by social - professional- peer pressure misleading us into thinking that wearing these sweat soakers is cool, visually appealing or anything else using a positive adjective. If you want to be that true to history, get a floppy hat and starch it. Then, at least you are true to the heritage of the hat. You will still look like a dope, but so does anyone wearing liderhosen. So who can throw stones at that point? Wait a minute, I CAN! And those tall hats make a great target. I have an accurate, well oiled arm, and am equally deadly with tomatoes or a Frisbee. So remember, if you are wearing a tall paper hat, and you hear an impact and it goes sailing across the kitchen onto the grill weighed down by a russet potato, and hear "Get married so someone can dress you before you leave the house you numbnutz!" it may be me or one of my newly sworn in cooking commandos.
So, learned behavior comes from repetition. I say, lets begin with the closet paper hat to you, and working your way out from there. Burn, fry, soak, shred and otherwise demolish every last one on the planet. Always remove the chef's head first. Usually the chef's head is very hard and can cause collateral damage. If you need a reason to believe a chef's head is hard, give my wife a call. She has a list ready for you:)
Posted: March 29th, 2009 | Report This Comment