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Recent Posts Tagged With 'really funny jokes'
Humor jokes-Mom\'s calling
A man answers the phone and has the following conversation: "Yes, mother, I've had a hard day. Dianne has been quite difficult... Yes, I know I ought to be more firm, but it is hard. Well, you know how she is. Yes, I remember you warned me. I re...
Really funny jokes-Doctor\'s advice
At his wife's insistence, Goldberg finally went to his doctor for a check up."You look just terrible," said the doctor. "Do you drink?""Why yes, plenty." said Goldberg. "I start every day with a bottle of schnapps.&...
Sarcastic jokes-Cherokee Indian
A Cherokee Indian was a special guest at an elementary school. He talked to the children about his tribe and its traditions, then shared with them this fun fact: "There are no swear words in the Cherokee language."One boy raised his hand, &...
Ultimate jokes-Size
A woman walked into my father's carpet store. She'd just moved out of her parents' home and needed something for her new living-room floor."Do you know how big the room is?" Dad asked."Yes," she said. "It's 22 flip-flops long...
Short adult jokes-Sex education class
After the first week of sex education class, a young shapely teen stormed out of the room after the class was over. Encountering a female friend in the hall, the friend asked, "Judi, what in the world is the matter with you? You look as if you'r...
Office humor jokes-Tit for tat
While the Gates' are moving in from their temporary quarters nearby, final construction of their new house is not expected to be completed until the end of the year. Now if I were the contractor with a sense of humor...Bill: "There are a few iss...
Funny farming jokes-Try to grow chickens
A New York City yuppie moved to the country and bought a piece of land. He went to the local feed and livestock store and talked to the proprietor about how he was going to take up chicken farming. He then asked to buy 100 chicks."That's a lot o...
Best funny jokes-Medical aid
Sitting at home one night with his wife, a man is casually tossing peanuts into the air and catching them in his mouth. As the couple take in the latest episode of their favorite program, the man loses concentration for a split second, and a peanut g...
Sarcastic jokes-Tax Return
There was a man who computed his taxes for 2005 & found that he owed $3407. He packaged up his payment and included this letter:Dear IRS:Enclosed is my 2005 Tax Return & payment. Please take note of the attached article from the USA Today new...
Really funny jokes-Bookstore
My mom got a suspicious phone call from a large bookstore retailer here in town. "Ma'am, we are just calling to tell you that your book has arrived. Would you like to come in and pick it up?"Not to be taken in by just another marketing ploy...
Sarcastic jokes-The Economy is bad
The economy is so bad that...The Mafia laid off three judges in New Jersey.Even people who have nothing to do with the Obama administration aren't paying their taxes.Hotwheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.PETA now sells chicken wing...
Naughty jokes-How many?
After three years of marriage, Kim was still questioning her husband about his lurid past."C'mon, tell me," she asked for the thousandth time, "how many women have you slept with?""Baby," he protested, "if I told yo...
Adult jokes-Olympic Condoms
A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand: "Olympic Condoms." Impressed, he buys a pack.Upon arriving home he announces to his wife the purchase he just made. "Olympic condoms?"She blurts. "What makes them so special?&q...
Office humor jokes-Aptitude test
Bob meets Bill at the bar after work and is once again looking down in the dumps."Whats wrong now Bob," asked Bill.Bob replies, "They called in a management team and gave everyone in the office an aptitude test to see what they were be...
Short adult jokes-Martinis
How are tits like martinis?One's not enough and three's too many....
Best funny jokes-Cooking
My cooking leaves much to be desired, and one night I found out just how bad it really is.We had friends over for dinner, and the kids were playing in the living room. When I opened the oven door to take supper out, the smoke alarm went off.Not a sec...
Life-Dancing frenzy
A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with ...
Funny farm jokes-Lacking all religion
A very zealous soul-winning young preacher recently came upon a farmer working in his field. Being concerned about the farmer's soul the preacher asked the man, "Are you laboring in the vineyard of the Lord my good man?"Not even looking at ...
Adult jokes-Grass Sandwich
At a local college dance, a guy from America asked the girl from Sweden to dance.While they were dancing, he gives her a little squeeze, and says, "In America, we call this a hug".She replies, "Yaah, in Sveden, we call it a hug too.&qu...
Humor jokes-Disappointment
A man was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're beautiful." Then he fell asleep again.His wife had never heard him say that before, so she stayed by ...
Office humor jokes-Proof of name
I requested identification from a department store customer who had just written a personal check for her purchase.After fumbling through her purse, she presented me with what she said was the only thing that bore both her name and address.It was a n...
Funny statements-MJ joke
Michael Jackson’s last words: “Take me to the Children’s Hospital!”...
Really funny jokes-Baby Gates
For the first time in, oh, a decade, I think, something from Microsoft shipped on time:Jennifer Katharine Gates, weighed 8 pounds 6 ounces when she was downloaded, er, born on Friday, April 26 at 6:11pm. And what do Baby Gates and Daddy's products ha...
Good jokes-Tremendous fight
A man being mugged by two thugs put up a tremendous fight!Finally, the thugs subdued him and took his wallet. Upon finding only two dollars in the wallet, the surprised thug said "Why did you put up such a fight?"To which the man promptly r...
Funny statements-Pulled through
"When I was born..the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father…I'm very sorry. We did everything we could…but he pulled through."...
Funny jokes-Proof of name
I requested identification from a department store customer who had just written a personal check for her purchase.After fumbling through her purse, she presented me with what she said was the only thing that bore both her name and address.It was a n...
Blonde jokes-Cruise special
A blonde walks by a travel agency and notices a sign in the window, "Cruise Special -- $99!"So she goes inside, lays her money on the counter and says, "I'd like the $99 cruise special, please."The agent grabs her, drags her into ...
Adult jokes-Single vs. Engaged vs. MARRIED!!
Sipping her drink, the single 20-year-old girl leered and said, "Last Friday,. At the end of the work, I went to my boyfriend's office wearing a leather coat. When all the other people had left, I slipped out of it and all I had on was a leather...
Children jokes-Recycling
In our family, toys, bikes and clothes are repainted, repaired and mended for the next in line. I didn't realize the impact this recycling was having on our children until one day our daughter came home from kindergarten saying a classmate had lost h...
Clean jokes funny-At work
My friend, a trucker, is often caught in commuter rush-hour traffic.One morning when everything came to a standstill, he sat high up in his 18-wheeler singing and whistling.A passenger in a nearby car,frustrated by the delay, yelled up at my brother,...
