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Recent Posts Tagged With 'short humor jokes'
Funny statements-Troubles
Despite the old saying, 'Don't take your troubles to bed', many men still sleep with their wives !!!...
Funny statements-Jury
Jury - Twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer....
Short adult jokes-Mr. Right
Matters had progressed to the point where the freshman and his date were naked in the motel bed when the girl had a change of heart."I suppose you're going to tell me now that you're waiting for 'Mr. Right'," he said dejectedly."That's...
Funny statements-Pedestrians
There are two kinds of pedestrians- the quick and the dead....
Birthday jokes-Exchange
A well adjusted woman is one who not only knows what she wants for her birthday, but even knows what she's going to exchange it for....
Short adult jokes-Martinis
How are tits like martinis?One's not enough and three's too many....
Funny statements-False eyelashes
She wears these false eyelashes. She left 'em lying around and I slammed 'em with my newspaper, tried to kill the damn things. Scared me half to death.- Gordon, Oklahoma City, Okla....
Funny statements-MJ joke
Michael Jackson’s last words: “Take me to the Children’s Hospital!”...
Short adult jokes-100 million sperm
Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg?Because not one will stop and ask for directions....
Funny statements-Pulled through
"When I was born..the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father…I'm very sorry. We did everything we could…but he pulled through."...
Short adult jokes-Clear out
Q. What two words will clear out a men's changing room quicker than anything else?A. Nice dick!...
Short adult jokes-Blind man
Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?A. It's not hard....
Funny statements-Continue
After sex, I mean the second after, she continues where she left off.Her eyes open and before you can breathe, you hear, " ... And, oh, yeah, I have to defrost the chicken, and your mother wants you to pick up her dry cleaning ..."Jimmy, Fo...
Short adult jokes-Lesbian bar
Q. How can you tell a tough lesbian bar?A. Even the pool table has no balls....
Short adult jokes-Spice up
After 29 yrs of marriage, a woman decided she needed to do something to spice up her marriage. She went out and bought a pair of crotchless panties, put them on, walked up to her husband and said, "Do you want some of this?"He replied, &quo...
Birthday party jokes-Something with diamonds
It's my wife's birthday tomorrow. Last week I asked her what she wanted as a present. "Oh, I don't know", she said. "Just give me something with diamonds". That's why I'm giving her a pack of playing cards....
Funny statements-A woman\'s perspective
What do you call a handcuffed man? Trustworthy....
Short adult jokes-Messy house
When Tom's wife came home Sunday afternoon to find the kitchen and living room a mess, the laundry still in a pile by the washer and Tom on the couch having done nothing but drink beer and watch football all day, she yelled, "Watch yourself, mis...
Funny statements-Integrity
Don't let anyone belittle your integrity without paying you good money to do so....
Short humor jokes-Witnesses
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, "Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?"I said, "I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too."...
Short adult jokes-Swimming
Santa was teaching Preeto swimming.After 2 hrs Preeto said: Tell me, will I really drown like a leaking boat if you take out your finger?...
Funny statements-Viable
There is a big controversy on the Jewish view of when life begins. In Jewish tradition, the fetus is not considered viable until it graduates from medical school....
Short humor jokes-Embarrassed
A new bride was a bit embarrassed to be known as a honeymooner. So when she and her husband pulled up to the hotel, she asked him if there was any way that they could make it appear that they had been married a long time. He responded, "Sure. Yo...
Short adult jokes-Porn in my room
As I booked into a hotel, I said to the receptionist, "I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled.""No," she said, "It's regular porn, you sicko freak."...
Funny statements-Quote du Jour
"I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet."- Henry Youngman...
Short adult jokes-Cream
Banta complaining: You are so unresponsive, do you use cold cream between your legs?Preeto taunting: You must be using vanishing cream between yours....
Funny statements-Unhappy
A father found his small son looking very unhappy."What's wrong?" he asked.The boy said, "I can't get along with your wife."...
Short humor jokes-Bigamy
Q. Do you know the punishment for bigamy?A. Two Mother-in-laws....
Funny statements-Leak
How do you know when your staying in an Arkansas hotel? When you call the front desk and say "I've gotta leak in my sink" and the person at the front desk says "Go ahead."...
Short adult jokes-Like playslip
Sex is like a payslip.You can't discuss it with anyone cause then everyone will know how little you actually get....
