Recent Posts Tagged With sarcasm

• Amusing searches, Vol. 6

  Posted on Sunday February 28th, 2010 at 11:25 pm in list advice sarcasm alcohol searches

  Here are more of the most amusing searches that brought people here during these past few months that have been so devoid of new posts.(All search strings are reprinted exactly as they were entered, and the search text links to the post at which the ...

• There will be water.

  Posted on Friday January 8th, 2010 at 12:30 pm in house food sarcasm gratitude poo

  Every day I live out here in the country in our new house, I expand my perspective on the world in new and unexpected ways. For example, I now know there are several very different ways you can think of your basement.One way, with a properly finished...

• Amusing searches, Vol. 4

  Posted on Monday November 16th, 2009 at 03:30 am in list english sarcasm footnotes searches

  Here are some of the most amusing searches that brought people here recently, this time collected under the very simple theme of Herpes.PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: I must warn you against using Google without at least some kind of keyboard cover-- i...

• Pretend it\'s still Halloween with me!

  Posted on Wednesday November 4th, 2009 at 04:00 am in kids holidays rants food sarcasm

  In case you're breathing a sigh of relief that, after hours of painstakingly inspecting, and possibly dissecting, your children's Halloween candy, they were not near-victims of some dastardly neighborhood psychopath, I just thought I'd like to share ...

• Amusing searches, Vol. 3

  Posted on Tuesday October 13th, 2009 at 04:00 am in list holidays sarcasm searches mockery

  Here are some more of the most amusing searches that brought people here recently.In honor of Christopher Columbus, in whose name half my family got to spend an extra day at home yesterday, this list is a random, confused hodgepodge that stumbles upo...

• Important Question: Or is that kind of sleep orgasmic enough?

  Posted on Wednesday September 23rd, 2009 at 03:00 am in kids movies reading sarcasm sleep

  These are the things about which one begins to wonder when forced to read or watch a story more than 10 times:If the nice fairies in Sleeping Beauty had the power to alter the evil fairy's killing spell, why didn't they just say that when she turned ...

• Not to belabor a theme, but...

  Posted on Monday September 7th, 2009 at 03:00 am in school marriage holidays sarcasm footnotes

  I was informed by my son's school calendar that apparently today is something called "Labor Day".Not having been a part of the traditional work force for almost two years now, I'm not quite clear what this means beyond my having to entertain a five-y...

• Tropical Storm "Douche"

  Posted on Wednesday September 2nd, 2009 at 03:00 am in english sarcasm latest news footnotes mockery

  As Mexico braced itself for the impact of Hurricane Jimena, American assholes everywhere remained steadfastly unconcerned:Category 4 hurricane threatens Mexico's west coastBut with the weather still mild Sunday, Jim Patterson, a tourist from Big Bear...

• Self-inflicted sterilization on 500 channels

  Posted on Friday August 14th, 2009 at 04:00 am in TV Strategy sarcasm starvation latest news

  Just like your mother always told you whenever she wasn't trying to use the TV as an unpaid babysitter, TV will fry your brain cells. But beyond that, it seems, it might also destroy any hope you have of growing your family larger than it already is....

• Selling out for spam

  Posted on Wednesday August 12th, 2009 at 03:00 am in english writing spam sarcasm mockery

  Hey there everyone, just click here to read my post for today, appearing over at HotDads.Then, when you're done commenting to make me look good, poke around the site to see what my esteemed colleagues have to offer.Just be careful where exactly you'r...

• How to tell you went to the wrong blogging conference

  Posted on Friday July 31st, 2009 at 03:00 am in food sarcasm not kids blogher 2009

  Not that I didn't have fun last weekend at BlogHer, mind you, but I have to say I was haunted the whole time by the inexplicable feeling that somehow suiting my needs wasn't their primary focus.Now I just have to figure out how and where to apply all...

• The return journey: Random riffs

  Posted on Monday July 20th, 2009 at 03:00 am in kids links vacation food sarcasm

  Though I may have exhausted your patience with the three posts of observations on ourtrip driving from Chicagoland to Northern Maine last month, here's just one post covering our trip home two weeks later.NEW JERSEY• After an awkward, nearly wordle...

• Proof I didn't kill my children

  Posted on Monday July 13th, 2009 at 03:00 am in kids vacation sarcasm videogames maine

  [...or, "I Know Why the Caged Bird Screams"]Well, my computer decided to break down Thursday, and in fact it's still out of commission until I can find my Windows CD, so here you get Friday's promised picture post on Monday.Here's a short summary of ...

• IL to ME Odyssey: New York through Maine

  Posted on Wednesday July 8th, 2009 at 05:00 am in list bush rants series vacation

  Here is the final set of my observations on our car trip from Chicagoland to visit family in Northern Maine, part of the series of posts: Illinois, Indiana, Ohio & Pennsylvania, New York, Massachusetts, New Hampshire & Maine.NEW YORKDistance ...

• IL to ME Odyssey: Indiana, Ohio & Pennsylvania

  Posted on Wednesday July 1st, 2009 at 02:00 am in religion Games Strategy series vacation

  Here are more of my observations on our car trip from Chicagoland to visit family in Northern Maine, part of the series of short posts: Illinois, Indiana, Ohio & Pennsylvania, New York, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, and Maine.INDIANADistance Trav...

• IL to ME Odyssey: Illinois

  Posted on Monday June 29th, 2009 at 03:00 am in Games series vacation food disease

  I figured I'd break down my observations on our car trip from Chicagoland to visit family in Northern Maine into a series of short posts of thoughts on our time in Illinois, Indiana, Ohio, Pennsylvania, New York, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, and alm...

• Snake heads, heifers, and Carnaval

  Posted on Thursday June 25th, 2009 at 03:00 am in religion war food sarcasm latest news

  Surprise, surprise, here I am on a Thursday just to throw you all off.But wait, no... scratch that now-outdated post opening. Blogger has had some kind of issue with scheduling posts in advance this week, so now it's actually Friday as usual.Here I a...

• Alert: Do not allow this child to babysit

  Posted on Friday June 12th, 2009 at 03:00 am in kids toys sarcasm footnotes mockery

  To help keep your families safe, I feel compelled as a responsible parent and citizen to advise you to never let this unassuming, violent soon-to-be-felon (shown here eating the graham-cracker-legs off a still-breathing craft-project-person she made,...

• Book Review: Buster Climbs the Walls

  Posted on Wednesday June 10th, 2009 at 03:00 am in politics gay book review sarcasm homosexuality

  I vaguely remember some Bush-era controversy over the PBS spinoff show Postcards From Buster dignifying (!!!) gay lifestyles by acknowledging them in one episode, to the point that neo-conservatives were using it as the platform du jour to justify cu...

• Arsonist Bridezilla drags victims from burning safehouse

  Posted on Friday June 5th, 2009 at 04:00 am in marriage sarcasm latest news footnotes not kids

  This post is dedicated to Allison Ross, who'll no longer be A-Ross by August, but something else hopefully just as catchy instead. Let's see if she can top this feat on her big day...I just thought I'd share with you this little story of yet another ...

• Fun with typos: Hoes are people in your neighborhood

  Posted on Friday May 29th, 2009 at 03:00 am in sarcasm latest news footnotes mockery literal dan

  Since I know it's generally lacking, I thought I'd take an opportunity to provide you all with a little local color from out here in the northwest Chicagoland area.Here's a recent article covering an exciting high-speed chase through a residential ar...

• No, Babe won't give you herpes

  Posted on Wednesday May 6th, 2009 at 03:00 am in holidays Games rants food disease

  Consider this post an early Mother's Day present for my mom, who for the past two weeks has been ranting about how inane the swine flu hysteria is almost as fiercely as I do about random things like the suddenly high percentage of crossword puzzle cl...

• An Easter feast: A story in pictures. And some words.

  Posted on Sunday April 19th, 2009 at 03:00 am in holidays food ads sarcasm footnotes

  In honor of Orthodox Easter, my observation of which is in no way merely a thinly veiled excuse to post an Easter-related idea I procrastinated on drafting, here is my commentary on a few noteworthy grocery store items offered in that week's circular...

• Orangutan Lohan flees to Indonesia

  Posted on Friday April 17th, 2009 at 03:00 am in english sarcasm mockery literal dan not kids

  In the latest monkey/ape news, scientists just discovered a large, healthy population of orangutans in Indonesia, on the slope of a mountain where it's too unprofitable to try to extract the valuable timber. For now.New orangutan population found in ...

• Corporate intelligence, Vol. 8

  Posted on Wednesday April 8th, 2009 at 05:00 am in politics rants sarcasm corporations footnotes

  Once again, I'm here to demonstrate the importance of saying exactly what you mean, and nothing more. Just as I am the noble hero of literalism, picking apart your statements at will to reveal the messages you didn't know you were sending, there is a...

• Put on a happy face

  Posted on Monday March 23rd, 2009 at 04:00 am in marriage links blogging teaching sarcasm

  Consider today's post a solicitation for moral support for my wife, who very early this morning marched slowly down the Death Row that is the 26 miles of highway between home and work, at a school in a neighborhood outside Chicago that is beyond unde...

• Corporate intelligence, Vol. 7

  Posted on Wednesday March 4th, 2009 at 03:45 am in english sarcasm corporations footnotes mockery

  You know, a lot of ill-informed people claim that word choice doesn't really matter in most everyday areas of life, but I'm here to offer just one random example of an instance that proves these people to be morons.Recently, I couldn't help but notic...

• Corporate intelligence, Vol. 6: Walgreens

  Posted on Friday January 30th, 2009 at 03:00 am in ads sarcasm corporations footnotes mockery

  I've been hearing the following Walgreens radio ad quite a lot here in Chicago lately:With Medicare Part D, you pay the same co-pay everywhere. So now that there's no hassle of comparing prices everywhere, come join the millions who fill their prescr...

• My ridiculous rhinestone bow 'tis of thee

  Posted on Friday January 23rd, 2009 at 03:00 am in marriage clothing sarcasm latest news singing

  I had another post scheduled to appear here today, but I decided to pull it in favor of this one, since you all probably will care even less about it in a week or so (I've set myself up nicely to take it easy for awhile).I had to do some serious digg...

• A heart-rending ending?

  Posted on Monday December 29th, 2008 at 03:00 am in religion holidays english sarcasm latest news

  In case you're all wondering where Santa has gone now that Christmas has passed, I have some sad news to bring you:Ho ho ho! Kids share economy woes with Santa*"You see things behind the beard that nobody else will ever see or hear. I've had children...