Recent Posts
Recent Posts Tagged With 'motherhood'
Naughty Secrets
Makes a mother wonder... "Hmnnn... what could she be whispering into his ear? And WHERE is that hand going?" But most importantly... "Which one of the ruddy monsters posed 'em like this?!" ...
The Impromptu Applause
He was running late again, but I assured Mrs. B that he was right behind me. Knowing we wouldn't need the full half hour, and since we were her last parent/teacher conference for the day, it gave us some time for chit-chat.Including how Numbnuts is ...
Broken Toe and a Blow Job
Did you hear about the speakerphone incident? The one that ended with a mischievous 8 year-old, trying to play Mr. Innocent as he grins and asks me, "Mom? What's a penis?"Bet you're glad you're not me today, huh? *raises eyebrows*I sent Skinny Ass t...
Stolen Sleep
The hour hand on the clock had barely caressed the midnight hour, and I'd actually gotten to bed early that night. 10:30 probably. I thought I was knocked the eff out, but the sudden, piercing scream from the next room brought me to my son's bedsid...
Flaring Tempers
You've been there before.At the neighborhood park, the grocery store, Target or Wal-Mart... and someone's kid is just trippin'. Acting out. About to blow the fuse.And you try not to stare, or to judge, but silently? You're thanking your lucky star...
Aliens must have paid us a visit
It's inevitable, isn't it? The morning rush?We have the little ones take their baths in the evening, before bedtime. But in the morning, getting Daredevil to brush his teeth is still a chore. He's 8 years old - c'mon now!Einstein is the first to r...
Yes, dear, we don't touch people's bu-tays
It was a breezy, almost sunny afternooon, and the kids and I were enjoying the day at the park. I was sitting at the picnic tables, nearly engrossed in my book of the month, The Thirteenth Tale.I think it was Daredevil's playful cries to "Stop. Sto...
A First of Many Lasts
I sat there. Staring at my laptop. Pages of unread email staring back at me, but for some reason... I couldn't seem to stay focused.The executive desk in my office was a clutter of paperwork, receipts and leftover items from switching between handb...
The Kissing Thief
When we become parents, we've basically given up the right to a full night's sleep or a quiet moment on the shitter. Seriously.And we've especially given up the right to having a meal in peace.My youngest? He likes noodles. Loves them, in fact.So fo...
NOT the "Baby" Anymore
It’s inevitable.You see a newborn baby, or a 6-month old, or an almost one year old toddling around in their first steps, and you’re gonna hear:“OMG – it makes me want to have another baby.”As for me, I’m proud to say that over the last c...
Don't Push My Buttons, Child
I used to run my weekly errands pretty regularly. In fact, every Tuesday you'd be sure to find me at Target, little ones in tow, looking for the newest DVD releases. Oh, and pediasure, Special K, and yadi-yadi-ya.Not anymore. In fact, there are a nu...
Not On My Kitchen Floor!!
Potty training has been pretty darn cool.(Huh?)It only took a couple of days of taking him to the potty at regular intervals. After that, he'd just come and tell me when he needed to go.The first weekend, we went to the zoo. Then to the carnival. T...
