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SMS Jokes 28
This Christmas, may you be… showered by men or be showered by men or be with men in showers. Basta…many men and many showers! * * * * * It was X’mas n the judge was in a good mood as he asked the accused, “What are you charged...
SMS Jokes 27
Private thoughts: “Gaano man kaganda, Kabait, At Katalin0 ni Jinkee…Talo pa rin sya ng malanding tulad ko.” - Krista * * * * * A GOLFER’S DREAM A woman kisses his balls every morning to make his putter rise. Good Luck, Mr...
SMS Jokes 26
At MGM GRAND HOTEL RECEPTIONIST: Excuse me Sir, wil u b staying here for a week? AMERICAN: im afraid not! RECEPTIONIST: How bout u sir? PACQUIA0: im not afraid! * * * * * Garchi: Kahit na retired na me, mam, if u need my expertise, just call me b4 el...
SMS Jokes 25
DIONISIA: Manny, sabi nila sa labas, pangit daw ako. MANNY: Ma, alam mo ang kagandahan ay nasa loob. Kaya huwag ka ng lumabas! * * * * * * A woman complained of a purple discharge from her vagina. She thought it might have something to do with the...
SMS Jokes 24
Teacher: Give me the opposite of this sentence…. “CHILDREN IN THE DARK MAKES MISTAKES.” Juan: Mistakes in the dark can make children! SMS Jokes courtesy of Kups Spuk * * * * * Everytime u miss me, just put ur right hand in front oyo...
SMS Jokes 23
Man1: mahilig ka ba sa mga babae na malalaki bubs? Man2: hinde. Man1: e yung mga babaeng mataba at malaki ang pwet? Man2: lalong hindi. Man1: baka naman mahilig ka sa mga panget na babae? Man2: hindi ah. Man1: e baket mo gi-ni-jerjer yung asawa ko? *...
SMS Jokes 22
GIRL1: Nakipaghiwalay na ko sa boyfriend ko. GIRL2: Bakit ka naki pag-break? GIRL1: Gago talaga yon. Maganda at sexy daw ako sabay patay nung ilaw. * * * * * Woman at 18 is lyk a football where 22 men run after her.. at 28,she is lyk a basketball,whe...
SMS Jokes 21
Man1: Mula nang mag-away kami ng misis ko, hindi pa ako kumakain. Tuwing nag-aaway kami hindi ako makakain e. Man2: Talaga?! Sobra ka naman. Huwag ka masyadong sensitive. Man1: Hindi yun e. Tuwing mag-aaway kami, tinatago niya pustiso ko! * * * * * W...
SMS Jokes 20
* * * * * * Sen. Mar Roxas has officially filed his certificate of candidacy for vice president. Korina Sanchez is now an official candidate for Second Lady of the land! * * * * * Gibo & Edu-lover boys Noy/Mar-Mama’s boys Gordon/Bayani-li&#...
SMS Jokes 19
Patient: Doc, tama kayo. After two months nakapaglalakad na ko. Doc: Sabi ko sayo two months makakalakad ka na. Patient: Tama, doc, binenta ko yung kotse ko pambayad sa inyo. * * * * * CLIENT: Atty, ang plastic surgery ko ay palpak. Pag malamig, mukh...
SMS Jokes 18
MOM: Iho, ibalik mo ng maaga ang anak ko. Huwag na kayong magpunta sa kung saan-saan. Delikado ang panahon ngayon. BOY: Don’t wori po, sigurado by 10 PM nasa kama na po ang inyong anak. * * * * * Mister: Gandang umaga, nanay ng aking limang an...
SMS Jokes 17
Girl1: musta ang bagong kasal? Girl2: ayoko ugali ng asawa ko, biro mo nag-la-lovemaking kami, may kumatok sa pintuan at bumangon siya at tiningnan kung sino yon. Girl1: talaga, bitin ba? Girl2: hindi, sana nga pero sinama niya ko sa pintuan! * * * *...
SMS Jokes 16
“Aanhin pa ang gabi, kung wala naman katabi.” Eh may nakarinig: “Eh anong silbi ng may katabi kung wala namang nangyayari.” May humirit: “Eh ano naman kung may nangyayari kung wala namang nabubuong baby.” Eh my aff...
SMS Jokes 15
Pacman recently cancelled endorsement c0ntract w/ Mcdo! Nagalit kasi bakit daw he’s been promoting its product, but still their slogan is - “Love Co To” * * * * * Don’t close your door when you feel alone.. Don’t close ...
SMS Jokes 14
Sa isang camp ng mga sundalo, nakita ng kapitan na me kabayo sa loob, tinanong nya ang mga sundalo kung bakit me kabayo dun. Sundalo: Kasi po pag nakakaramdam po kami n gusto namin makipagsex ginagamit namin sya. Isang gabi ay naramdaman ng kapitan n...
SMS Jokes 13
Its in the news! Hahiwalayan daw ni Mar si Korina Kasi… pag tanggal daw nya ng panty ni Korina, nakakita syang maliit na yellow ribbon at nakasulat… “NOYNOY WAS HERE!” * * * * * GUY: is ur new BF better than me? GIRL: u & ...
SMS Jokes 12
Alam mo ba kung paano nabuking ni Jinky sina Manny at Krista? During the fight, Jinky joined the fans cheering “pacman! pacman!” Krista also cheered”pacme! pacme!” * * * * * Erap kumuha ng NBI clearance… NBI: Sir, paki ...
SMS Jokes 11
* * * * * TEACHER: What do you call a man who doesn’t use contraceptives? STUDENT: Daddy! * * * * * ATTITUDES of “wise” employees: 1. TIME CONSCIOUS-oras lang ang binabantayan; 2. WORKAHOLIC-di makapagtrabaho pag di nakainom; 3. SER...
SMS Jokes 10
MR1: lam nyo mga pare ang tanga ng mrs. ko, biruin mo bumili ng load wala namang celfon! MR2: mas tanga nmn ang mrs. ko, bumili ng printer eh wala naman kaming computer! MR3: mga pare wala ng tatanga pa sa mrs. ko, biruin mo sa tuwing aalis ako bumib...
SMS Jokes 9
PULUBI: Palimos po sir! MAN: Alam mo ba na illegal ang mamalimos? PULUBI: Hobby ko lng to sir! MAN: Anong hobby? PULUBI: Collecting coins! * * * ** * “Kung hindi mo ko kaya seryosohin, ngayon pa lang itigil na natin ito.” – Studies...
SMS JOKES 8
Rolling brownouts have hit Eastern Metro Manila. The government has apologized to the residents of the affected areas and vowed to immediately finish the ongoing “election dry run.” * * * * * 4 insurance firms are in competition. One come...
SMS Jokes 7
Question: What’s the height of recycling? Answer: Sending a sanitary napkin for dry cleaning. * * * * * Young man asks old man: “Sir, what is retirement?” Old Man: Retirement is when you are replaced by a computer at the office and ...
SMS Jokes 6
“Akala ko ba the more the merrier? E bakit galit ka kapag marami kami?” — Tagyawat SMS courtesy of Pryss * * * * Reporter: Manny, anong bill ang gagawin mo kapag naging Congressman ka? Manny: Anong bill? Yung tomotonog pagkatapos sa...
SMS Jokes 5
“This country should not show hatred over what is stolen, but instead show gratitude for what is left behind…” -GMA & Family. * * * * * * Q: What do you do when a Rottweiler humps your leg? A Fake an orgasm! * * * * * * “M...
SMS Jokes 4
“me seeds” Sabi ni aling di0nisia ng tumun0g ang f0n ni manny.“manny ! may me seeds ka. “ Oist my me seeds ka rin? * * * * * BOYFRIEND: Bakit ba nagseselos ka sa kasama ko? Eh kaibigang matalik ko ‘yun! GIRLFRIEND: ̵...
SMS Jokes 3
Mama: Oh anak, musta ang 1st date nyo ng boyfrend mo? Anak: ok lng ma. Sinusulat ko nga sa diary ko ngayun eh. ..Ay ma! Ano nga ung past tense ng virgin? * * * * * CONFIRMED: Matatalo si PACQUIAO sa next fight niya dahil ang ginamit niyang shampoo a...
SMS Jokes 2
Dionesia: judith! judith! judith! Pacman: nay bakit? bakit ka sumisigaw? Dionesia: Ang bayaring BELLS sa kuryente. judith ngayon. * * * * * One night wife play the national anthem while preparing for sex. Hubby, “why are you playing this?”...
SMS Jokes 10.02.09 (Friday)
Boy: fetus ka ba? girl: bakit? daHil cute ako? boy: hindi. mukha ka kasing pinalaglag. Kumapit kapa! * * * * Henry Ford: “God, my invention is perfect.. you invented woman & there are many flaws. 1. Front end is protuding. 2. Rear end wobb...
SMS Jokes 1
* * * * GMA: I am so busy running the country that I have no time for myself, not even to have sex with my husband. So I just screw the country. * * * * Late 70 swinger kumuha ng teenager. In bed he asked: Virgin ka pa? Teen: Opo sir. After a torrid ...
SMS Jokes 09.20.09 (Sunday)
* * * * * * “Don’t let your problem, problem you. Let your problem, problem them…” -Aling Dionisia * * * * * * Different sounds of women’s urine: SINGLE: i wisssssss x3 WIDOW: i misssssss x3 SPINSTER: plisssssss x3 MAR...
