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Moog's Movie Reviews
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Mental Poo has spun off "Moog's Movie Reviews!" A new site dedicated to bad reviews of movies and theater...or is that the other way around?
Recent Posts Tagged With 'moog's reviews'
The Review Update..."Transformers 2," "The Hangover," "Doubt," and "Ice Age 3: Dawn of the Dinosaurs"
Because I've been on vacation, and busy, I've been neglecting my movierly (what the fuck?) duties.So...today...YOU GET FOUR REVIEWS!!FOUR!!Sit down and stop clapping...you're embarrassing yourselves.Also:I think I'm hanging up this site.But I want yo...
"He's Just Not That Into You" - (Thank Christ)
Today I'm reviewing a movie off my Netflix list:He's Just Not That Into YouLet me get this out front and say that the ONLY fucking reason that it was on my Netflix list is because my wife wanted it there.Sometimes I let her win.Regardless, let's get ...
"The Day the Earth Stood Still" - Less Keanu, More Big Robot, Please
Today I'm reviewing a movie off my Netflix list:The Day the Earth Stood StillFurther proof that Keanu Reeves is a phenomenal acting talent.On a related note:Sometimes I make myself laugh.I had never seen the original movie and, therefore, did not kno...
"Terminator: Salvation" - Don't Bale if You Like the Series
Today I'm reviewing:Terminator: SalvationWe're gonna keep this one really short today for two reasons:1) I'm working2) I have to poopI guess I could have combined those two since I really put a lot of effort into my shits.Whatever.I got a chance to b...
"Up" - Get Up and Go
Today I'm reviewing the movie:UPFinally.After seeing the horrible fuckshow known as "Night at the Museum 2"......I get a movie that is WORTH seeing.Well worth it.Suffice it to say, "Up" has earned a place in my top 20 movie list of all time.Easily.Ye...
"Quantum of Solace" - Um...Wha..?
Today I'm reviewing a movie off my Netflix list:Quantum of SolaceListen, I'm not a huge James Bond fan.I'm also not gay.However, I've seen both Daniel Craig versions and I have to say this:Sometimes, I look into his dreamy blue eyes and chiseled body...
"Slumdog Millionaire" - Vijay Patel says Wha?
Today I'm reviewing:Slumdog MillionaireI have to admit, I was a little hesitant to see "Slumdog Millionaire" at first.I know it won Best Picture, but two things started to turn me off to it before I even rented it:1) I saw a preview that showed the c...
"Marley and Me" - Honey...Have You Seen My Testicles?
Today I'm reviewing:Marley and MeFucking Ay.Marley and Me.I'm going to go off on a tangent here and instead of giving you the plot and characters and shit, I'm just going to give you a quiz.Here goes:Q: How do you know if you should rent Marley and M...
"I Love You, Man" - Yes...yes I do.
Today I'm reviewing:I Love You, ManI'm gonna make this short today.(that's what Lorena Bobbitt said)Because I'm typing one-handed...(and not for the reason I want to...my hand is broken (and not for the reason I wanted to for that, either))...I'm tir...
Watchmen - Long Movie, Long Schlong
Today I'm reviewing:WatchmenI was pretty excited to go see The Watchmen, even though I had never read the book or had no idea what it was going to be about.Good marketing is my achilles heel.On a related note:I have no idea why I'm drinking this Dr. ...
Wanted - OMG OMG OMG It's Angelina's BUM! HOORAY!
Today I'm reviewing another movie from my Netflix list:WantedGood. Movie.I had heard good things about this movie when it came out, but never got around to seeing it in the theaters.This is probably because my kids made me see some type of animated s...
Mirrors - Shit's Reflection is Still Shit
Today, from my Netflix list......I'm reviewing the Kiefer Sutherland horror/thriller:MirrorsHere's my review:It fucking sucked. Don't see it.My Score:1/2 Mooge SplatFine.Small synopsis:Stupid fucking movie about stupid fucking demons living in fucki...
Taken - They Took the Chick from LOST!!
Today I'm reviewing the film:Taken Taken stars Liam Neeson as the divorced father of a 17-year old girl named Kim who lives with her very rich stepfather and her bitchy mother, played by Famke Janssen.I only recognized Famke Janssen from the FX serie...
Hotel for Dogs - Animal Control is the AntiChrist!
Yep.A TWO-MOVIE weekend.Because I took it upon myself to see two adult movies (well…not ADULT movies…I get those free with my Cinemax subscription), two weeks in a row (Gran Torino and The Wrestler), the Gods of Retribution found it necessary to ...
The Wrestler - He Says 'Go,' She Says 'No'
Today I'm reviewing the movie:The WrestlerIn a "Moog's Movie Review" first, I have a He Said/She Said review.You see, I went to see this with my wife.I need to stop seeing movies with her.At least the ones I want to see.Actually, we both wanted to se...
The X-Files: I Want to Believe - Yeah, I Wanted to Believe Scully Looked Better
Today I'm reviewing a film from my Netflix list:The X-Files: I Want to BelieveYeah, I wanted to believe.I wanted to believe a few things:1) I wanted to believe I'd remember where the other movie left off.I didn't.I was lost.Things like:a) Wait...are ...
Gran Torino - (I Learned 60 New Racial Slurs!!)
Today, I'm reviewing the movie:Gran TorinoGran Torino stars Clint Eastwood in what is, most likely, his last acting role.I love Clint Eastwood.My wife, does not.Hence, I went to see this alone.Me: "Honey, why don't you like Clint Eastwood?"Wife: "I d...
The Tale of Despereaux (or...Ratatouille, Part 2)
Well, it wouldn't be my site if I didn't have a kid's movie to bitch about.My kids make me see bad movies.It's what they do.Today's review:The Tale of DespereauxEh.I liked this movie better the first time I saw it and it was called Ratatouille.Seriou...
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button - It's a Long Fucking Curious Case
Today I'm reviewing the movie:The Curious Case of Benjamin ButtonThis movie is GOOD.However...that said...This movie is LONG.Like, really, really fucking long.Like, "John Holmes' penis is now a movie" long.That's a long friggin' movie.For me, a two-h...
Valkyrie - The One-Eyed Monster is Good
Today, I have a review of the movie:ValkyrieThat's right.I finally got out of the fucking house and got to go see a movie.THREE, in fact.Reviews of all are upcoming.Hey...don't pretend your nipples aren't hard. I know they are.Oh yeah..movie review....
Tropic Thunder - Robert Downey Jr. is Obama-ish!
Eh.That's pretty much all I can say about after this movie showed up from Netflix:Tropic ThunderI had high hopes for this one.Jack Black.Ben Stiller.Robert Downey Jr. made up as a black guy. (Wait...is it 'black guy' or 'African American'? Colored? O...
Hancock - HA! I Wrote 'cock!'
Today, I'm reviewing another item off my Netflix list:HancockI really thought I was going to hate this movie.Will Smith plays "John Hancock" - not to be confused with "John Handcock" - which, according to the Urban Dictionary is:a) A man who frequent...
Bolt - (Richard Gere would LOVE this hamster)
Today on Moog's Movie Reviews, I'm reviewing the latest kid-flick:BoltThe wife and I took the kids to see this the day after Thanksgiving.Along with 7,000,000 other parents.Including the broad who fell asleep in the row behind me while her four year ...
Get Smart - Literally
Today I'm reviewing another movie from my Netflix list:Get SmartGood. Movie.To my surprise, though, this was NOT about the hunt for Pamela Smart.THAT honor goes to the movie "To Die For."By the way...true fun-fact about Moooooog:I went to High School...
Madagascar 2 - I F*cking LOVE Penguins
So, I took the kids this weekend to see:Madagascar 2Yeah. Me, and 7 million other people for that show.Listen, when you're 20 minutes early for the show, and it's already packed, you know the whole experience is gonna suck.Crying babies?Check.Stupid...
Harold & Kumar - Ride that Cheetah!!
I’ve never been to a White Castle.Or Guantanamo Bay.I’m more thankful for the latter.However, Harold & Kumar have been to both places.And it’s f*cking hilarious.Today, I’m reviewing a double-shot off my Netflix list:Harold & Kumar Go ...
Sarah Marshall - Redux
Well, folks...I haven't seen anything in a while.As always, if you've seen something that you'd like to share with our readers here in a review, let me know and we'll be sure to put your review up.In the meantime, I received "Forgetting Sarah Marshal...
Go, Speed Racer...Go Have a Seizure
Today I’m reviewing another movie off my Netflix list:Speed RacerI heard a LOT of nasty things about this movie…which stopped me from bringing my son to it when it was out at the theater.In retrospect, “Texas Chainsaw Massacre – the Beginning...
Igor - I Have a Hunch You Won't Like It
"My name is Igor. Wait..wait...I have a hunch on my back. What's my name going to be?...Kevin?"*cricket*Scintillating dialog.This past weekend I took the kids to see “Igor.”Why I simply don’t start waiting for the DVD, I have no idea.Igor is ...
Hard Candy (squirm factor: 5)
Today I’m reviewing a movie off my Netflix list:Hard CandyWhat can I say about “Hard Candy” other than:The last time I was this uncomfortable watching a movie, was the time I watched “Wild Things” with my mom.It wasn’t the screaming hot l...
