Recent Posts
Recent Posts Tagged With 'writing'
No one home
X tells me he’ll die if he gets up there. There’s no point, there’d be nothing for them to see, he’d be a shell, an empty shell. They’d suck the life out of him before he got up there, he says, they’ve already sucked the life out of him. ...
Remember
‘We experienced what we experienced, we’re still alive, all we can do is go on talking to you without talking to you, refusing but accepting our past. Remember? I prefer not to. Life could go on, could end, or could go on ending. Impossible momen...
We go on
‘Your words enter me and make me dizzy. How do I regain my balance? You kill me and bring me to life: your words remove you from me and become my words, become you in me. What’s your next one? Show yourself. Silence, the word silence. Is this som...
-
‘I ask you to speak to me, to give me a new voice. You tell me my question is a voice, my speech an interruption.’ ...
Pride
‘You were the welcome trap, what they used to call the devil, and my rescuer, who pulled me out of my trap, what they used to call the saviour. To renounce you, my failure, would be the ultimate failure, what they used to call pride.’ ...
Endless impatience
‘I lose you just as I lose myself, because I want you beyond the limits of my words, and I only know you through my words, just as I know myself. You’re my loss, my impatience. I want to withdraw from your absence, into what? Into endless impatie...
Night and day
‘To the day we were mad, the night drew us to itself until we tried to turn away and faced only more dark. We realised we’d crossed the day from day one, by the very presence of the night, which never engulfed us, which for us was impure. We were...
Concealment
‘I can’t see you, I can only talk to you, talk with you. Should I turn to you or away from you? I look for you and see what hides you, I talk and hear what conceals my meaning.’ ...
Undertow
‘I had more or less whole wholes from rare moment to moment like those pockets in time with [ ] or should I say whole holes those moments of fictive truth or truthful fiction dare I say presence I dare not but I held on tight I bounced between hope...
Philosophical talent
If only he had some philosophical talent, X tells me. Then he might be able to explain his feelings, then he might not need to talk to me. If only you’d answer, he says. How am I supposed to get any philosophical talent if you don’t answer my que...
-
‘I talk to push my self out on the low tide of my words; to leave an emptiness for you to fill.’ ...
This is goodbye
X tells me he doesn’t want to be or think anything anymore. He doesn’t want to submit to anything, let alone me. What’s the point of thinking, he says, since we don’t even comprehend the basis of our thought, since our words mean nothing? Bet...
Dusk
X tells me he’s always been afraid of dusk. Summer or winter, it doesn’t matter, he says. Some sort of gloom fear or boredom always descends on him with the murk, he says, that’s when he’s confronted by whatever it is that keeps trying to pee...
A winter coat in Africa
X tells me this is it, this is the end. He’s clapped-out, tied up and binned, finished. He’s like a winter coat in Africa, he says, irrelevant, useless, unfit for purpose. Everyone can see it, he says, even children. It’s obvious in the way the...
You disappear
‘You disappear and return as what has disappeared. To know you is to lose the possibility of emerging from you.’ ...
The longest road
‘I didn’t know you were already here, and your paths are still obscure. I remain guilty for approaching you, obscurely, for watching you make me cryptic. There’s no way back from this guilt, only further into you. Yours is the longest road, whe...
I start talking
‘I start talking and my words turn into yours. I think, I’m being thought. Your words find me, lead me to and away from myself, explore and consume each other through me. I want to make myself equal to you, as anonymous as these words. I move fro...
A call
‘A call reaches me, barely. From where? I wonder if it’s my own call, myself calling my own name. But haven’t I left that call behind? I wonder if it’s your call, a call from beyond, from here. No clarion call or call to arms but a call that ...
Where the gods were
‘I talk to you and start down an endless road. My protests have no effect on you, I find myself being pulled along as I resist. What’s this self-deception, what’s at stake? I say the word endless with no way of grasping it. I walk into the tr...
My weakness
‘My weakness is that I’m still too strong. I talk over you, make my stupidity known, impose the present and deny the future. I fail to talk, fail to listen and fail to understand my failure.’ ...
I never woke up
‘I dreamed that you wound in and out of my life, from the beginning, from before the beginning. You floated through all things, and regions vaster than I’d ever imagined. I stared wide-eyed, and never woke up.’ ...
Fragile
‘You draw me into you before I can lift my head and look around for you. I’m in your field before I can identify myself. Yet you’re fragile: I can assert myself over you – silence you by talking – any time I choose. But where does my speech...
In the outside
‘You’re my loss and my possibility, my lie and my chance to grasp the truth. We seek each other out, we seek completion. But the more I address you the further you fade from me. I’m consigned to make this loss my home, in the outside, and let y...
Another world
‘We continued our half-hearted search for another world until we realised we were already there, that the world was other enough as it was, that you’d separated us from the it and that we ourselves were other. What changed then? Didn’t we get a...
Well done
Well done, X tells me, you caught me unawares just like you wanted. You got me in the double bind, the catch-22, you boxed me in, checkmated me, cornered me, well done you. ...
Grace
‘I separated myself from you even as you entered me, I’m already guilty of you, of myself. From time to time your absence is given to me as presence, as grace. You’re everywhere in your depth of absence.’ ...
Grinning like a chimp
X tells me he falls back into his little hole every day and drinks to fill it back up. Then I hover above it, he says, grinning like a chimp on a branch while I sense it there below me, in the back of my mind. Will you be my chimp behaviourist, he as...
The limit of error
‘I owe you my life, the life you close down. My freedom, my enemy. You draw me away from the throttling world. Into what? I glimpse you as the world draws me back. I fall further, into the hole, almost beneath language. Who’ll pull me out? You ca...
-
‘We made it out of there, where we’d got trapped. But what were we going into? We thought we’d already reached you, or seen through you, but we knew nothing. We talked to silence you. We looked around and told each other we knew where we we...
Void
X tells me he feels like a void, or a black hole, not only devoid of life but sucking the life out of everything around him, even you, he says. So he has to leave, he says, or rather I have to leave, so he can be alone, so he won’t do any more dama...
