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Recent Posts Tagged With 'offbeat emails'
God Enjoys A Good Laugh
There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black: ...
New Senior Bumper Stickers
(Courtesy Cheryl P.)To easily receive updates on new posts and funny stories, Enter your EmailPreview | Powered by FeedBlitza2a_linkname=document.title;a2a_linkurl=location.href;http://feeds.feedburner.com/Offbeatnewsandvideos http://www.google.com/r...
The Cremated Husband
Martha recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home. Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the patio table..Then, while tracing her fingers in the ashes, she started talking to him....You...
Cussin' In Church
TOO FUNNY!!A crusty old man walks into the local Lutheran Church and says to thesecretary, "I would like to join this damn church."The astonished woman replies, I beg your pardon, sir. I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?Listen up, damn i...
5 Minute Management Course
Lesson 1: A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. ...
This is Why I Forward Jokes
This explains why I forward jokes.A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying thescenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead..He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead foryears. He won...
Sex, Church and Pancakes
SexThe mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex.Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely impact the family's status, she consulted the family doctor.The doctor told her that teenagers today were very wil...
No Speak English
A Russian woman married a Canadian gentleman and they lived happily ever after in Toronto . The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but did manage to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for g...
Reasons For Having A Camera Phone
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First Celebrity To Die Of Swine Flu
And we all know who the carrier is.(courtesy Nakia C.!) To easily receive updates on new posts and funny stories, Enter your EmailPreview | Powered by FeedBlitza2a_linkname=document.title;a2a_linkurl=location.href;http://feeds.feedburner.com/Offb...
Maxine's 1st Day of Employment
So after landing my new job as a Wal-Mart greeter,A good find for many retirees,I lasted less than a day......About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud,Unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids,Yelling obs...
Hey Mom....
So, there I was . just relaxing in front of the TV and then the kids yelled, ' Hey Mom, come see the kittens ! ' (courtesy Dedra B.)To easily receive updates on new posts and funny stories, Enter your EmailPreview | Powered by FeedBlitza2a_...
Okay Ladies, It's That Time Of The Year
Alright ladies, it's that time of year once again!!! I think we need to be reminded of a few things. So my sisters, PLEASE, raise your big toes and repeat after me below...The Open Toed Shoe PledgeAs a member of the Cute Girl Sisterhood, I pledge to ...
New Pledge of Allegiance
Since the Pledge of Allegiance and The Lord's Prayer are not allowed in most Public schools anymore......Because the word 'God' is mentioned...A kid in Arizona wrote the attached. NEW School prayer :Now I sit me down in schoolWhere p...
First Time Sex
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet, and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time . ...
The Unusual Funeral
A woman was leaving a 7-11 with her morning coffee when she noticed aMost unusual funeral processionApproaching the nearby cemetery.A long black hearse was followed by a second hearse about 50 feet behind.Behind the second hearse was a solitary wom...
Testicle Massage Therapy
Two women were playing golf. One teed off andwatched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playingthe next hole.The ball hit one of the men.He immediately clasped his hands together athis groin, fell to the ground and proc...
My New Name Is...Cheesy Chuckleface
My NEW NAME IS IN THE SUBJECT.....DON'T LAUGH UNTIL YOU FIND OUT WHAT YOUR NEW NAME IS. We all need a little stre...
Four Friends
Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest room. Those who remained talked about their kids. The first guy said, 'My son is my pride and joy.He started wo...
48 Hours Mystery: Murder of Mr. Squirrel on St. Louis Street
Animal police arrive to find a disfigured and very dead squirrel on St. Louis Street. Its body is lying prone, face down. There is no murder weapon to be found. Many female squirrels have gathered and are all screeching at the top of their ...
Do You Know The Dumb Ass?
In the kingdom of Dumb Ass there exists an entire world of inhabitants who have screwed up. They have screwed up their lives, their relationships, other people’s lives, etc. They remain there because they do not know how to leave. ...
Check Your Drivers License
I already removed mine. I suggest you all do the same. Now you can seeanyone's Driver's License on the Internet, including your own! I justsearched for mine and there it was...picture and all! Thanks Homeland Security! Go to the web site, ...
God Loves Blondes Too
A blond finds herself in serious trouble.Her business has gone bust and she's in dire financial straits. She's desperate so she decides to ask God for help.She begins to pray... 'God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some mone...
Alzheimer's Test
The following was developed as a mental age assessmentBy the School of Psychiatry at Harvard UniversityTake your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake.The average person over 40 years of age cannot do it!1. This is this cat.2...
Divorce Vs. Murder
A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up tothe pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would liketo buy some cyanide."The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"The lady replied, "I need it...
A Plumber With A Sense Of Humor
Plumber with a sense of humor! Gotta love this guy!! (courtesy Paulette G.)To easily receive updates on new posts and funny stories, Enter your EmailPreview | Powered by FeedBlitza2a_linkname=document.title;a2a_linkurl=location.href;http://feeds.fe...
Idiot Alert
Be Careful Out There: IDIOT SIGHTING-1: We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had t...
Whatever Happened To Our Gang?
Our Gang -- Some of you may be a little too young to remember them, but they were the "Mickey Mouse Club" before MM!!!!!!!!!!!! These pictures are great.What ever happened to those people?In case you forgot who is who.Well, here it is...
Sheer Negligee And The Funeral
A husband walks into Victoria 's Secret to purchase a sheer negligee for his wife.. He is shown several possibilities that range from $25 to $500 in price -- the more sheer, the higher the price. Naturally, he opts for the most sheer item, pays...
The Most Functional English Word
(WARNING: may not be suitable for all ages)THE MOST FUNCTIONAL ENGLISH WORD Well, it's shit . that's right, shit! Shit may just be the most functional word in the English language. You can smoke shit, buy shit, sell shit, lose shit, find shit, forg...
