Olympic Insomnia

http://www.NurseBarb.com

Normally I don’t stay up past 11 to watch extraordinarily fit people vaulting over an impossibly high fixed obstacle, known as a “horse” while spinning, twisting and, whoa, STICKING the landing! Likewise, how many times, can you watch hairless athletes churn through the water like salmon intent on spawning? The answer, is, every single night, and way past my bedtime, which means a bleary eyed morning and fully leaded coffee in the morning.

Yes, I’ve heard of TiVo, in fact, I do record the NBC coverage, but I still stay up! It’s not just me. People who have never heard about, let alone cared about synchronized diving, are getting 4 hours of sleep because they were compelled to watch every single springboard, 2 ½ pike, twisting, splashless landing.

I’m hearing from patients and friends about this new phenomenon, which I call, Olympic Insomnia, which is characterized by the inability to turn off the TV at a normal hour and get to bed because you might miss the 200 meter women’s backstroke with or the final scores for the floor exercise by Nastia Luikin & Shawn Johnson.

I’m also wondering about a few things.

1. Do the swimmers wax, shave or is the US Swim team paying for laser hair removal?

2. Have you noticed their complete lack of body hair? I’m thinking that any hair produces drag which slows them down 0.01 second, which could be the difference between Gold and Silver.

3. Do they let their hair grow back when they retire from swimming?
a. Does it itch?
b. What about rashes, which wouldn’t look good on TV.

4. What exactly is in the new swimsuits that’s helping these athletes glide over the water like a turbo-propped jet ski?
a. Is it, real fish scales as some might have suggested?

5. How much does it hurt when women gymnasts land directly on their pubic bones, legs straddled to either side, during the balance beam competition? OOWWW! OUCH, I wince every time I witness that scary moment of torture for a few extra hundredths of a point.
a. Is it really worth it?

6. Does everyone know that Kerri Walsh is not sporting a strange jet black tattoo with mysterious meaning, but is wearing a special Kinesio bandage that prevents her arm from flying out of her shoulder and over the volleyball net?


These are what I wonder about before I give in and close my eyes, anticipating the next thrilling events, where I can study how Michael Phelps manages to stay underwater so long and not get water up his nose. And what waterproof makeup is it that Natalie Coughlin wearing? And, what about the ……….

• Added on: Aug 19th, 2008
• Country: United States
• Language: English

• Author: Barbara Dehn
• Listed in: Family Friendly Sports
• Tags: olympics michael phelps gymnasts balance beam kinesio hairless swimmers