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Five Funny Messages to Send via Twitter
- The longest sentence known to man: "I do."- I only use deodorant under one arm, so I know what I would have smelled like.- Crime doesn't pay… Does that mean my job is a crime?- This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, ke...
Not What You Expected
Walking along the beach, Dave tripped over a half-buried kerosene lantern. He rubbed its side and sure enough, a Genie materialized."I can't grant your wishes," explained the freed spirit. "But I'll give you three gifts for r...
Gorilla Bar
A gorilla walks into a bar. The bartender comes up to him and asks him what he wants. "A scotch on the rocks, please." He then lays a ten- dollar bill on the bar.The bartender takes the money and goes to fix the gorilla's drink. He th...
Very Weak
One weekend, a man decided to call his mother in Florida because it had been quite some time since they had chatted. The man asked his mother, "How are you doing?"She said, "Not to good. I' have been very weak."The son then ...
Selling a Policy
A man walks into an insurance office and asks for a job. "We don't need any one," they replied."You can't afford not to hire me. I can sell anyone anytime any thing.""We have two prospects that no one has been able t...
New Suit
A young banker decided to get his first tailor made suit. So he went to the finest tailor in town and got measured for a suit. A week later he went in for his first fitting. He put on the suit and he looked stunning, he felt that in this suit he c...
