Recent Posts
Peaches & Coconuts
Return To Blog Listing
Not your typical gay, Jewish mom-in-the-suburbs blog. I aim to entertain even if that means the joke is on me. And sometimes I make people blush a little.
Recent Posts Tagged With 'our kids'
Crayons and canals
When my friend offered to drive me and the boys to The Crayola Factory, I jumped at the chance to keep the kids busy for an entire day. This week, we had to suffer the New Jersey Education Association convention a.k.a. the Your Kids Drive Us to Drink...
The school district hates me
Asher has always been a great sleeper. For this I am grateful. He goes to bed at 7pm, and we usually have to wake him up at 7:45am to get to the bus on time. This leaves few hours after school for homework and general recreation...for which I am g...
Gina tales
I was almost positive that at the age of 5 and 5/6, Asher still did not know what a vagina was. We certainly have not hidden vaginas from him, but we’re not exactly a commando house, either. My lady bits prefer the cozy surrounds of a cotton guss...
He did it!
We lost the battle, and FreezeFoe is not to be-well not with Quirky, anyway. But, today was a great day nonetheless. “How so?” you ask. “Hadn’t you put all your hopes and dreams into that drink thing only to be told that your idea sucks an...
Day 1: No surprises
The good news is that I did not waste energy making myself a nervous wreck about today-the first day of Kindergarten. Furthermore, I had anticipated just about everything that happened. Oh the horror. I will tell the tale for those of you who are ...
PKSD: Pre-kindergarten Stress Disorder
Asher has his first cold of the season complete with the explosive mucus ejaculations only thought possible in Hollywood’s horror film special effects departments. Asher has a cold, and his first day of kindergarten is the day after tomorrow. I n...
Swimming, swimming
Gabriella put her foot down and proclaimed that the boys would not live through one more summer without learning how to swim. Perhaps the root of her insistence stems from her own lack of confidence in the water. Gabriella may be off-the-boat, but ...
Good guys and bad guys
Asher: Was George Washington a good guy or a bad guy?Deborah: He was the first president of the United States.A: But was he a good president or a bad president?D: Good.A: Who was a bad president?So tempting. A slide show of evil plays before my...
Moving Up: Part III
After the screening was successfully put behind us, we had still to look forward to the Moving Up Ceremony at pre-school. Before I had children, the idea of any kind of graduation ceremony outside of high school or college seemed ridiculous. Actual...
Moving Up: Part II
Though Asher’s freak out felt monumental at the time, the dust settled, and we all had a good night sleep. Our drive to pre-school was uneventful. Asher usually fills the journey with “What happens” questions. He’s not a “Why” kind of ...
Moving Up: Part I
I didn’t get emotional about Asher’s last day of pre-school. I thought I might shed a tear acknowledging these past 3 years at his first school. Perhaps I was too concerned about whether or not he would make it through the Moving Up Ceremony at...
I love chicks
Every year, Asher’s pre-school brings eggs into the 4 year old classroom. I’m not talking about eggs for baking or omelette making. These eggs sit under warm lights while the children count down the days until baby chicks hatch their way out. ...
OMG
Sunday morning, I accepted an invitation to join a friend for a class in a 3 part series with our rabbi about parenting- Jewish style. How Yids Raise Kids. I’m pretty sure that’s not actually the name of the series. This morning’s theme was ...
The Story of Passover: Mishpucha (family)
This one is going to have to flirt with the journal side of blogging so that I can record our trip and shout out to our family members. If you did not sign up for the Mommy Blog Ramblings, you may want to skip it. Regarding ramblings, I promise tha...
Karma's a beee-atch!
Do NOT have children if you need sleep. That little sonuva... Levi woke up at 3am this morning doing what he does best – screaming. He wasn’t in pain or ill or frightened. He wanted a tissue. He wanted a tissue because he couldn’t think of ...
Chip off the old block
Last night, I parked them in front of the teemee as Levi calls it earlier than usual for evening wind-down with Dora. I couldn’t take it anymore, and I wasn’t in a very crafty, interactive, resourceful, motherly kind of mood. Come to think of i...
Out of the tunnel
A warm day without coats. A long day without naps. A fun day in the city with the boys. Success. Days out are usually more stressful than not – for me. I’m one who gets bogged down in the preparation. Do we have change of clothes? Enough s...
Mommies dearest
Perhaps Gabriella is NOT the Mary Poppins stay-at-home mother I’d thought she’d be. There have been a few happy lessons that have come from Gabriella’s unemployment. This is one of them. Not that I want her to do a bad job. She’s actually ...
The ick of sick
Yesterday, Asher woke up moaning at 4:30AM. I waited knowing in my heart that bad things were about to happen. A few moments later, the toilet flushed and he came into our room with the announcement that he had thrown up on the rug. It was importa...
A happy mistake
I was having a conversation with a friend recently whose daughter is in the same pre-school as Asher. We were talking about how parents hold kids back in school so that they will be ahead of the game in their classes. In our school district, Octobe...
Free to be
Thumb watch. 2009. Thanks to all those who have wished me and my thumb well these past few days. I’ve now released my thumb from the humangous beast of a bandage that imprisoned her a week ago, and I’m now operating at about 85%. Only a plast...
The color purple
Asher: I want to play bowling but I can’t find the pins.Mom: They are in the play room somewhere, Asher. You have to look for them.A: But I did. I looked EVERYWHERE!M: You couldn’t have looked everywhere because if you had you would have fo...
Obligatory inauguration post
What was Potter doing there, and why did everyone keep referring to that “warped, frustrated old man” as Dick Cheney? And if it was, indeed, Dick Cheney and not Mr. Potter, why didn’t anyone push him down the steps of the U.S. Capitol in that ...
White House Press Secretaries have it easy
Asher has never been an inquisitive child. He’s never asked why the sky is blue or where milk comes from or why poop is brown. He’s never been that kid who follows every answer with “why? ” until you run out of answers – or patience - a...
Asher got run over by a table
The coffee table attacked Asher. He is running around the house-without slippers, and the coffee table gets in the way of his accidental slide into its corner. All I hear is the screaming, and I run to meet him underneath the table. Parents will ...
Happy 2009
The perfect snow. Big, meaty flakes collecting on the trees and cars that insulate our peaceful, village road. Cold enough for the snow to stick, but not so cold that your nostrils stick shut when you breathe in. I don’t normally appreciate much...
Family time
I’m the first to admit when we’re at a disadvantage not having a man around the house. That being said, that particular handicap did not seem to prevent Barack Obama from getting a good education, realizing his goals or becoming the mensch that ...
Ding dong, our colds are gone
We’ve been home since Wednesday night and have yet to make it to the grocery store. We haven't even made it outside. The raging colds we all caught knocked us out and made these past few days miserable. When the boys are ill, we can manage though...
Asher is 5
I know it has been a long day when I start tearing at a pet adoption commercial. It wasn’t even one of those abused-dog-in-cardboard box-outside-in rain kind of commercials. There was a woman trying to bond with her newly adopted dog by playing c...
Whatever works
It’s been 6 months since our last visit to the dentist. By ours, I mean Asher’s visit. Ever since that day 6 months ago, Asher has not forgotten that he did not care for the toothpaste that the dentist used to brush his teeth and that he would...
