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What once ensured that I sat next to the teacher is now published daily.
Recent Posts Tagged With 'i need a vacation'
Press "1" to Hear the Sound of Your Car Being Towed from the Front of Your House
“Thank you for calling the City of Minneapolis Snow Emergency Hot Line. “To have the Snow Emergency Rules explained to you, please complete the following transaction: Press “1” for English, “2” for Hmong, “3” for Somali, “4” for T...
You Know What Sounds Good Right Now? NOT The Fruit Platter.
I live in a tidy, cozy little home, roughly 1200 square feet. It was built in 1904: the ceilings are high, the woodwork is elaborate, the closets non-existent. You can’t get away with much in a place this size. Which is why I can tell you that t...
And I Guess I’m No Lady
It’s bill-paying day, one of many, and it’s making me cranky, so I’m going to set these aside for a bit and explore my non-cranky side.I have to admit I’ve been feeling a little more “rant-ish” than “rave-ish” lately; and I’m going ...
Just When You Think There’s Not Enough Garbage
We went grocery shopping Saturday. Willie insists that we shop at a grocery store in Columbia Heights. I personally dislike the place, but I’m saving up my fighting for something bigger. Have you been to Columbia Heights? It’s a place you go ...
Shhh. There’s No Need for Us to Speak.
I wake up slowly, reluctantly. Often, my dream-life – where I am an accomplished something-or-other and can run long distances without feeling that I’m being chased by two large puppies – is more fulfilling than my waking life. Awakening to d...
We Have Great Britain on Line 1
So I was sitting at work the other day, simultaneously arranging for travel, formatting a document I had moved from Word to Excel, and knitting myself an afghan (not an Afghani – and ooh, boy, if you’ve ever made that mistake you know why I doubl...
Karl Oskar Days
Here it is again, kids, Subjective Friday! All over the world, employees at 80% time (and 80% pay) are both rejoicing and grumbling. Three-day weekend! YAY! I’m making less money! BOO!What’s a gal to do but turn to her iPod?The iPod divines the f...
The Proper Term is “Phoning It In”
Look at me, over here, working all hard and such. That’s the problem with taking a vacation, isn’t it? While one’s off drinking margaritas, silently mocking others (who in return are often silently mocking you in return), petting the kitties,...
If Only All The Best Things Came Wrapped in Aluminum
I’m a pretty easy gal, for the most part. A couple of kitties, a good beer on the weekends and a new pack of undies here and there and I’m a happy woman. I’ve been told that I’m high-maintenance, but it certainly can’t be in the material a...
Time, Gentlemen
Raised on the formulas of Time is Money, There’s No Time Like The Present, and A Stitch in Time Saves Nine, the measurement of time strikes me as both crucial and futile. O, Second Hand, why do you taunt me so? The “one Mississippi, two Mississip...
Careful What You Ask for There, Kiddo
Ladies and gentlemen, another work week has flown by; and while it is in my veins to be flippant, today is a hard one.We’ll get to that in a moment.Until then, let us look for faux-insight into what the weekend has in store. Our method? Why, the ...
Is It The Hair Falling Out In Clumps? Is That Why You Ask?
I met up with an ex-co-worker the other day. She had been laid off several months earlier. Her tan and happy face beamed into mine over a salad.“I thought it was the end of the world,” she said, cheerily. “And it wasn’t! I don’t think I...
Sweet Freedom: I Can Almost Smell It From Here
Aw, for cryin’ out loud it’s only Tuesday and already I’m feeling the escapist pull of my lover.Let us call him “Weekend”. He calls to me in a tangy, salty accent. I can barely hear him over the sound of the steel drums I hear in my head...
