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Pearl, Why You Little...
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What once ensured that I sat next to the teacher is now published daily.
Recent Posts Tagged With 'none for me sir'
Because I’m Nothing If Not Here For My Friends
I have a friend who can be relied upon to be honest with herself. “I’ve got a feeling,” she said recently, rubbing her chin with the ends of her fingers, her eyes glazed and staring into the distance.“About?”“Hairs. I’m going to be spr...
I\'d Like to Write You A Check for Your Unused Sleep
The end of another 80% work week and I’m here to tell ya that starting next week, I am back to 100%. So on the one hand, YAY! I’m working full-time again! And on the other hand, BOO! I’m working full-time again!And once again, in keeping wit...
Just When You Think There’s Not Enough Garbage
We went grocery shopping Saturday. Willie insists that we shop at a grocery store in Columbia Heights. I personally dislike the place, but I’m saving up my fighting for something bigger. Have you been to Columbia Heights? It’s a place you go ...
The Philadelphia Story, or Scary Story 3 of 3
Welcome, my pretties, to Friday.Yes, I know it's Thursday; but as a result of a limp, nay flaccid economy, I am not working on nor am I being paid for Fridays; and so -- stay with me! -- Thursday is now Friday, Friday is still Friday, Saturday is sti...
The Name is Familiar, But The Face Seems Wrong
I miss the good ol’ days, the ones where old boyfriends disappeared – not in the gravel pit, wrapped in a sleeping bag and held down with chains like the police suspect – but in the recesses of my mind, where I was free to remember them as I li...
I Just Wish I Knew Where She Works
Willie and I proctored a test Saturday morning.Have you proctored? Oh, my dear, you simply must.Actually, it’s a rather dull affair, one involving sitting in a large room with a large number of people. They’re taking a test, you’re reading a ...
Does This Bustle Make My Butt Look Fat? or This Sounds Crabbier Than It Is!
Years and years ago – when the Earth was young and the primordial soup of the day was a broth and not the rich creams that are more and more prevalent – my lousy cell phone held a charge that lasted more than two days. My son, the wise and benefi...
Things That Are Found At The Beach for A Thousand, Alex
I tend to look around a lot. Some call it nosey. I call it observant.Because of this, I find a lot of things. Mostly coins. I once found, in a fit of cleaning, a diamond and garnet ring. It may have been someone first wife's. It may have not been....
Holy Crap! Run For Your Life!!
The drive-in tried to kill me when I was 12.How, you say? Well, I did a bit of babysitting in my youth. Of course, one had to do quite a bit of babysitting at that time to make any money, because the going rate was fifty cents an hour, regardless o...
I Never Learned How It Ended
I’ve been caught in a flood of sorts, a flood of memories wherein I am repeatedly made aware that what I’ve seen/heard in the past is either not what I believed it was or, worse, something I forgot about: The guy who was clearly crushing on me, ...
The Grain Belt 2009 Gift Catalog
Almost as exciting as the arrival of the new phone books – and who doesn’t enjoy looking their name up in the new phone book? – is the arrival of the 2009 Grain Belt Gift Catalog.OK. So, it turns out it’s been out for half a year now, but it...
