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rambling.effluvium
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You could call this my "professional" blog - where I write about being a journalist, struggling to become a novelist, and at times the issues of being a gay author writing (sometimes) gay-themed fiction. I can't promise I'll always sta
Recent Posts Tagged With 'the practical guide to being a vampire'
0068. Emo.
Rule #5: No One Cares About Your Angsty, Guilt-Ridden Past “Everyone you loved is dead. You cut yourself to feel alive. Black is the only color that expresses the true torment of your soul. You’ll never forget the one true love who die...
0053. Lunch.
Rule #3: Make Friends at Your Local Hospital “Like I said before, biting into a human’s neck is messy, difficult, and disgusting. Contrary to popular belief, you don’t have any mind-numbing powers of seduction to make bevies of bea...
0046. Ninja, vanish!
Rule #6: You’re Not an Invincible Ninja, So Stop Trying “First, the good news: you can survive just about any mortal wound and heal within a matter of hours. “Now, the bad news: getting said wounds will still hurt like a screaming...
0036. Cornstarch.
Rule #2: Don’t Lose Touch With Your Relatives “If anyone can expose you faster than a Vegas hooker can drop her drawers, it’s your nosy Aunt Myrtle. Here’s a tip: it looks a lot more suspicious if you vanish into thin air th...
0033. Embalmed.
“Oh, shit. Susie…” “What?” “…the condom broke.” “So?” “So? So?! What if you’re ovulating, what if–” “Oh, stop panicking. It’s fine. I’m undead;...
0032. Practical.
Rule #1: Don’t Throw Out Your Wardrobe “It’s not what you think. Being a vampire, that is.” Susie paused the tape long enough to take a drag from her cigarette, then hit record again. “The media’s been full of va...
Enchanted.
Hi. Those of you who’ve known me for a while know that sometimes I just disappear off the internet. I don’t update my websites, I don’t answer IMs (or even see them half the time) and don’t answer e-mails unless they’re...
