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The Serious Sports News Network is a sports satire site, containing spoofs on the latest news, information and opinions in the world of sports.
Recent Posts Tagged With 'pittsburgh steelers'
Roger Goodell frantically searching for Ashton Kutcher
NEW YORK — Roger Goodell was spotted late Tuesday anxiously roving the halls of NFL headquarters, screaming “Where the hell is Ashton?!” over and over, after the NFL commissioner revealed that the entire NFL playoffs were rigged by ...
Rodgers-Cromartie to coaches: “We should have quadruple-covered Holmes at the end there.”
GLENDALE, AZ—As the 2008 Arizona Cardinals began to pack it up on a season in which they fell just short of winning the Super Bowl, one player, rookie cornerback Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie, expressed particular regret on one of the game’s closin...
Kurt Warner orders Whopper, declares faith to drive through attendant
PHOENIX, AZ -– Kurt Warner had just led the Arizona Cardinals a heartwrenching defeat in Super Bowl XLIII against the Pittsburgh Steelers, and he was exhaused. When the aging quarterback returned to Phoenix, he found himself hungry, so he pulled in...
Kordell Stewart still waiting for people to show up at Super Bowl party
TAMPA BAY, FL — Even though it’s been three days since the Super Bowl, and the victorious Pittsburgh Steelers have already returned to the upper Midwest and celebrated with a parade, Kordell Stewart is holding out hope that some of the in...
American viewers becoming disturbed with growing trend of exciting Super Bowls
TAMPA BAY, FL—Last night’s exciting Super Bowl finish, involving two lead changes in the last three minutes, is part of a growing trend that some in America are calling worrisome: Super Bowls that are actually exciting to watch. “I’m concerne...
CC Sabathia “so freakin’ pumped” for Springsteen halftime show
TAMPA BAY, FL—Like much of America, Yankees pitcher CC Sabathia is looking forward to tomorrow’s Super Bowl. Unlike the overwhelming majority of his countrymen, however, Sabathia will not be tuning in to watch the match-up of the explosive of...
Obama bets stimulus plan on Super Bowl
WASHINGTON, DC — President and number one sports fan Barack Obama has bet the future of the trillion dollar economic stimulus plan on the outcome of this weekend’s Super Bowl between the Pittsburgh Steelers and the Arizona Cardinals. R...
God to smite prayers at Super Bowl
HEAVEN — God is mad as hell and he isn’t going to take it any more. The Almighty ripped Arizona Cardinals quarterback Kurt Warner and Pittsburgh Steelers safety Troy Polamalu for their constant praising of Him in the run up to the Super Bowl....
Cardinals receiver says Bernoulli Effect to blame for sideline spat
PHOENIX, AZ —...
God tells Warner he’s rooting for Steelers
PHOENIX, AZ—As is his custom after every game, win or lose, Cardinals quarterback Kurt Warner did not visit clubs or hook up with groupies Sunday night after his team’s 32-25 victory over the Eagles Sunday night. Instead he returned to his hotel ...
Steelers still not sure who they’ll face in Super Bowl XLIII
PITTSBURGH, PA — Though the glow from their...
Devastated Phillip Rivers likely out for game against Steelers after Perry-Barker breakup
SAN DIEGO, CA — The news hit Phillip Rivers like a gunshot wound to the abdomen; it rocked his gentle spirit and broke his delicate heart. It was 3 pm Tuesday when Rivers first heard that pop-rocker Katy Perry had split from her beau Travis Bar...
Big Ben recites alphabet up to F; doctors pronounce condition “excellent”
PITTSBURGH, PA—The Steel City has been holding its breath this past week over fears that their pro-bowl quarterback Ben Roethlisberger might not be at full strength following his concussion—the third of his career—in a week 17 win against the C...
Ocho Cinco says willingness to be deactivated shows he’s a team player
CINCINNATI, OH — On the day when his commitment to football and the Bengals might have been called into the most question, Chad Ocho Cinco was adamant that he’d actually proven that he’s a true team player. “Check it out,̶...
