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Sweetney
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Infused with brainy wit and outspoken irreverence, Sweetney chronicles the life of Tracey Gaughran-Perez, an overeducated thirtysomething stay-at-home mom from Baltimore, MD.
Recent Posts Tagged With 'daily'
The gist
I woke up this morning to some sort of foul stomach bug. Or it may be an ulcer. I mean, if anyone is going to get an ulcer SURELY that person would be me, what with all my fussing and fretting and thr...
This mortal coil
I hate it when I don't know what to say. And not knowing what to say has been happening a lot for me lately. Yesterday, the day that was to be my triumphant (snort) return to blogging here on Sweetney...
This head explosion brought to you by the Y of Central Maryland
My daughter came home from her day camp at the Y today and told me that another kid had punched her in the stomach. TWICE. Voice of Satan: And so it begins. SIGH. Really, what am I supposed to do with...
Thank you, friends
To the few, the loyal, the steadfast, the true... I dedicate the following: (Be sure to watch through to the end.) Thanks, Angela. ...
In my life, why do I smile at people who I'd much rather kick in the eye?*
When I was in High School, I was pretty much the biggest outcast you can possibly imagine. My family was at the time living in a small town in central Michigan, where I attended a school that was quit...
Mass media convergences (subtitle: I really, really need a nap (and probably one or several drinks))
Typing on a computer from the comfort and safety of your couch at home? EASY. Having a television crew come into your home and make you talk and answer questions and think (ouch!), and move from here ...
Mental health days are for pussies (so I'm taking a mental health WEEK)
As most of you are probably aware (due to my incessant whining both here and on twitter), my daughter M's preschool ended about a month ago, and I've been back to being a full-time stay-at-home Mom ev...
My heart wants to explode far away
Some days it seems it's impossible to not just wake up and from minute zero be in a funk. Today is one of those days, I fear. When mired in the deep, frothing shit-stew of my own emotions, I invariabl...
This is my weekend on random
We scorched the home some hive-builder was constructing inside our BBQ. Grilling: 1, Animal Kingdom: 0. And the bloody war between Man and Nature rages on. The elusive splotchy blue giraffe of the Wes...
I'll be right here
In 1982 I was twelve years old. And I was completely obsessed with the movie E.T. Obsessed, as in see it eleven times in the theater and collect mountains of useless trading cards based on the film. I...
Losing weight and motherhood: u r doing it wrong
This morning I am a failure at everything. First, I wake up and weigh myself (a feat which, in and of itself, was emotionally equivalent to completing the Bataan Death March-like trudge to a gynecolog...
The springtime of our discontent
Today our whole family is sick to one degree or other, which means the household air is soaked with the grating sound of incessant complaining and whining, a low background hum of diseased discontent....
Manners are magic!
Her, rushing breathlessly into the room for no apparent reason whatsoever: Stand up! Me: Uhh why? Her: Just stand up! Me: M, you know that's not how we ask for things. What's the magic word? Her: [Thi...
I live in a zoo, I look like a monkey and I smell like one too. HAPPY?
It's mah birfday, betches! Today I'm 38 -- which is what, 480 in dog years or something? I am very nearly antique, a period piece from a time before cell phones and plasma TVs. Somebody get me some Do...
The darling buds of May
Around the house and garden this morning: Unrelatedly, today marks 6 months since I quit smoking. To celebrate, I shall stop and inhale the scent of flowers deeply today, my nasal passages untainted b...
Explanatory notes on my supreme nonfiction*
I know, I know, I've been being kind of cryptic around these here parts of late. And not having comments open probably hasn't helped. I apologize, most sincerely I do. But you see, a couple of times a...
Non compos mentis commandments
Do not think. Do. Thinking is self-indulgence you cannot afford. Doing will keep your mind elsewhere and away from the gathering dark. Paint your toenails pink. The lightest, shiniest pink you can fin...
I'm too old for ALL of this shit
Things of note -- the good, the bad, and the fugly: I'm gonna be published! Like, in a real, actual book and stuff! I KNOW! It's like someone confused me -- a lowly child-exploiting pimp -- with a rea...
Spring (spirit) Break(ing)
This week is M's Spring Break from preschool, which means she's here at home with me -- bound tightly to my right leg like an enormous, fleshy barnacle coated in Disney Princess patterned cloth -- eve...
No hell below us, above us only sky
Allow me to introduce you to this week's Flashback prompt: Where were you when...? Our parents' generation can recall exactly what they were doing when JFK was shot - it's a cultural moment that defin...
When Truthiness becomes TMI
First off, at the risk of sounding cornball, I cannot for the life of me adequately express how all of these photos and all of these posts -- by so many amazing, brave, beautiful women I can't even li...
Kiss me, I'm Irish(ish)*
Well my weekend was about as exciting as watching paint dry. The only highlight to speak of was getting drunk at my friend Angela's candy store's Grand Opening on Saturday, proving once again that I w...
School Of Real
Confronted with an unexpected, last-minute playdate cancellation yesterday, I decided it was time for me to bring out the big guns. Yes, that's right: I decided it was time to go rent "School Of Rock"...
New Formula Preschooler: Now With More "NO!" And Extra Stompy
As much as I love my daughter, and lawd knows I do in great big gobs, I may soon need to move to a residence separate from the one she lives in. Just for a little while. Just until she becomes, you kn...
Stop the world, I want to go lie down for a bit
Hiya, hon. Just popping in to say that I'm not so much suffering from writer's block as I am from incessant, low-grade illness coupled with incessant, low-grade depression. I'm not sure which came fir...
I am Tracey's compromised immune system
I've spent the last 24 hours looking directly into the fabled Heart of Darkness, fighting internal parasites and buckets of mucus. Fortunately, I can report with almost 100% certainty that the fabled ...
Playing flaming possum
Around noon today I received a call from M's preschool teacher, a bright and sunny, naturally blonde and almost impossibly buoyant woman, whose disposition resembles a cross between Doris Day and ever...
Mishy-mashy-meltdowny (updated)
1. I think I have the blogger's version of ADD right now. Are there any drugs yet available for that? BESIDES COKE, I MEAN. jeez! 2. Today marks 80 days since I quit smoking. (wee hurrah!) That's 1,92...
Letters, I get letters
EDIT: The CBC Radio podcast is up! You can download it here. . . . . . . . . . . Though slightly better than hate mail proclaiming “I hope you die in a fire, bitch!!1!!!” (<-- actual quote from...
For Auld Lang Syne
What better way to close out the year than by looking back at where I've been? To that end, here are my 12 favorite posts of 2007, one for every month of the year: The 'Oh My God I'm In So Much Pain I...