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Swirls in my Head - Thoughts of a Mental Mind

Swirls in my Head - Thoughts of a Mental Mind

http://mentalmommy.blogspot.com

I said that my illnesses would not define me; yet, as I type my thoughts I realize that I have let them shape my life. How do I separate myself from something that is a part of me? Do I even need to? I suffer from Depression and Borderline Personality Disorder, not to mention a long list of physical alignments. No matter what you take from reading my entries, you will see what the world is like through the eyes of someone else – someone who is still trying to find their way.

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  • Why am I

    Posted on Friday November 20th, 2009 at 01:37 in depression, lost, Mental Illness, bpd, fear, mask, breakdown

    so pathetic? Why can't I sleep at night? What am I so afraid of? Is it of the dreams? Is it of dying in my sleep? What??? Why do I need to sleep during the day or just before someone is coming home?Why am I still seeing, reading, and hearing messages...

  • -

    Posted on Thursday November 12th, 2009 at 20:23 in depression, lost, addiction, Mental Illness, random thoughts, sleep, bpd

    Things are going okay right now. I mean...as October moves away, things are slowly getting better. I'm not sure why Oct. is such a bad month - perhaps now it is a self-fulfiled prophacy.I still feel very lost and often find myself living outside of m...

  • Happy Halloween - Saying Goodbye to Demons

    Posted on Saturday October 31st, 2009 at 16:54 in lost, Mental Illness, sleep, balance, Lonely, truths

    My house looks like a bomb went off, and I don't even care. I'm hunger. I'm not hungry. I sleep during the day and find myself unable to sleep at night. The darkness seems empty and lonely - for some reason it haunts me.I am looking for meaning in ev...

  • Chasing my Tail

    Posted on Friday October 30th, 2009 at 00:01 in depression, lost, Mental Illness, sleep, bpd, balance, Lonely, breakdown

    Thanks for the suggestion of trying sunglasses while I am using the SADS lamp. It seems to be helping somewhat.I totally agree that the moments from the past create or shape those of today and tomorrow. I guess that I just sometimes wonder what it wo...

  • Groundhog Day - Do Over

    Posted on Friday October 23rd, 2009 at 00:21 in depression, lost, Mental Illness, random thoughts, bpd, balance, mask

    I've often wondered what it would be like to go back and change the past - undo certain things and change regrets. Maybe even have a day to just do it all and have none of it matter. However, I know that will all of that comes a price. Everything has...

  • Whishing away the winter blues

    Posted on Thursday October 8th, 2009 at 10:06 in depression, random thoughts, sleep, fear, sensitive

    And so here we are - the beginning of October. For many it is the start of the holiday season, for me it means welcoming the Winter Blues - the inability to sleep, the easy tears, the irritability and the withdrawal. I suppose that I can take comfort...

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