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Recent Posts Tagged With 'parallel universe'
So Not Everyone In My Subdivision Is A Racist Dick - Part II
We return with the sequel to Part I, an in-depth analysis of thoughts and attitudes about race in my suburban subdivision, carefully cobbled together from sloppily edited and somewhat out-of-context postings on my neighborhood Yahoo message boar...
Not Everyone In My Subdivision Is A Racist Dick - Part I
Not everyone in my subdivision is a racist dick. Some are just dicks*. But there are racists dicks in the neighborhood, and I have as evidence the neighborhood yahoo message board. This is from a couple of weeks ago....few days ago I was steppi...
Valentine's Day Recap
This last weekend proved that love and romance are alive and well at the Taunt Vortex household. Dammit. And kids, if you're reading this and you don't want to be embarrassed, then just stop here and enjoy the picture of Karen Valentine. Had thi...
Slow Zombies at Play
Taunt Vortex disclaimer: I had nothing at all to do with the following events. Nor did any of my family members. That I know of. One thing I like about living in Austin is that the city has a sense of humor. I guess you can say a city has a se...
Dear P&G
Dear Proctor & Gamble :Let me start by saying that I have a great deal of respect for Proctor ampersand Gamble, one of America's best run corporations. But we need to have a little talk.For many years you've made Bounce fabric softener. I'm sure ...
My Name is George
For this episode of the Taunt Vortex, we'll need to employ the Time Tunnel to transport ourselves roughly 4 months into the future. Don't forget to make the appropriate time travel sound effects as we travel to the well-appointed office of an NBC e...
Karma Visits the Post Office
I'm not a practitioner of the Hindu or Buddhist religions, although I did purchase my fair share of George Harrison solo albums as a teenager. Despite this fact (or perhaps because of it), I happen to think that there may be something to the conce...
Bush Legacy Tour Rocks On
Apparently George W. Bush is concerned about the legacy that he will leave after 8 years of, well, let's say a Presidential administration that leaves damn little for Barbara to brag about to the other shoppers in the produce section at the Fiest...
More Neighborhood Snarkiness
For those of you who read the Taunt Vortex with any regularity (insert your own laxative joke here) you know that we're attempting to escape the 'burbs and establish a more urban lifestyle* over the next few months. I like to call our subdivision Ent...
Clandestine Claus - Merry Christmas Marie
I'm taking part in the Secret Santa gift swap sponsored by Bee, because despite what you may have read here, or elsewhere for that matter, I'm usually not a cold-hearted insensitive bastard. My parents were married.The lucky recipient of my gift(s) i...
Hail Mary Pass, Real Estate Style
If you'll recall from the Final Four post, today is the day (or so we thought) that the couple from Boston was coming to take a second look at our home. Unfortunately, there was yet another real estate agent miscommunication. They are coming tomorrow...
Moonlighting
George and Laura Bush will be moving out of the White House this January. You probably knew that already, but the news still came as a bit of a shock to George. Since they aren't really welcomed in the White House after January 20th*, they've been sh...
For Sale: Slightly Used Texas Ranch w House
Current owner relocating in January, probably to Dallas. Property only slightly used, as current owner used it mostly for vacationing and pr purposes. New owner can look forward to ranch activities such as clearing brush, watching the dog chase arma...
The Day I Thought My Daughter Joined a Terrorist Organization
My daughter (Princess, if you bothered to read the last post) started her freshman year in college this Fall. Things seemed to be going well at first - she'd call me or her mother just about every day. Then one day, after my wife had finished talking...
Yet Another Horror of Modern Life : MPD
In October, the British Association of Dermatologists (yes, BAD) announced that some mobile phone users may develop a red, itchy rash on the ears, face, or even hands or fingers due to mobile phone use. They believe that this is a type of allergic re...
Angry Seafood Interview
The Taunt Vortex interview with ChrisC over at http://angryseafood.com/ is out. Chris runs a pretty cool shop over at Angry Seafood, and the Humor-blog.com interviews are a nice weekly feature. Check out the older interviews for a primer on both how ...
On This Historic and Momentous Occasion
We all knew it was coming. Now that it's here, it's almost surreal. On occasions of great historical significance, I often get choked up and become somewhat at a loss for words. Last night I tried to find the right words to put this event into perspe...
In Texas, We Give Drunks and Death Row Inmates the Needle
Hardly a weekend goes by that I'm not provided free entertainment courtesy of the random drunk driver of the day and one of our local law enforcement agencies.Sometimes I'm a little late to the show, and they've already got the perp* in cuffs. But if...
