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TheJay.com is pop culture from inside the bubble, providing fresh and funny commentary on the world of entertainment.
Recent Posts Tagged With 'american'
The Alternate Ending of The Idol Matrix
The Idol Matrix Part 1! The Idol Matrix Part 2! The Idol Matrix Part 3! EXT. HOLLYWOOD BLVD. - AFTERNOON DAVID ARCHULETA runs through the streets of Hollywood. He is being chased by a horde of sc...
Grading the American Idol Season Seven Top 2 On The TiVo Multi-Bloop Scale
Lame gimmicky Idol introductions, bad original songwriting and Simon in a collared shirt open to his smelly Euro-happy trail? Yep, must be season finale time! I’ve been ruminating on the Battl...
Grading the American Idol Season Seven Top 3 On The TiVo Multi-Bloop Scale
I could not have been more bored by last night’s episode. I wrote a positive piece on Sarah Jessica Parker (!) instead of giving Idol my full attention. And without even looking at the screen ...
The Idol Matrix Can’t Tell You Who You Are
INT. ELEVATOR Davids Cook and Archuleta ride the elevator on their way to see Paula Abdul. The idea of learning one’s fate begins to weigh upon David Archuleta with a steadily growing unease....
The Idol Matrix Has You
INT. AMERICAN IDOL PRODUCTION OFFICE David Archuleta sits alone at a table. He licks his lips. The door opens and the American Idol producers enter. Simon Cowell sits down across from David. A t...
Grading the American Idol Season Seven Top 5 On The TiVo Multi-Bloop Scale
Before we get to what an utter hot mess Neil Diamond Night was, let’s talk a bit about how gloriously bad my predictions have been this year. I think I’ve been wrong 712 straight times. Last yea...
Grading the American Idol Season Seven Top 7 On The TiVo Multi-Bloop Scale
Before we get to Mariah(‘s flotation device boobage) Night, allow me a few thoughts on the (not) shocking Michael Johns ouster from last week. Ahem… THAT’S WHAT HE GETS FOR IGNORING MY ADVICE! ...
David Cook Must Go Back To The Future
David, because you’re the the heir to the Daughtry Rock crown, the only season seven Idol consistently blowing our hard tasty minds 24/7 washerboard-style, you finally cut your disgusting mange,...
Grading the American Idol Season Seven Top 9 On The TiVo Multi-Bloop Scale
Only one thing was made certain in this week’s performance night of American Idol: if the show ever gets canceled, Ryan Seacrest has a career in speed-reading, waiting for him. He could be the ...
Grading the American Idol Season Seven Top 10 Girls On The TiVo Multi-Bloop Scale
Tonight was one of those episodes that the casual viewer would be better served just watching the two minute recap at the end of the episode, because sittin through the full 96 minutes would have been...
My American Idol Season Seven Early Favorites
Based solely on aesthetics, I’d say this was easily the best Top 24 in American Idol History. There are five legit hottie girls, and an equal number of dudes (no, I am not counting Michael John...