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The Most Authoritative Words on the Planet
http://ieffinrule.blogspot.com
Do you like to know things? Probably. That's why you're here. My name is Ryan, and I happen to specialize in making people know things--whether they and their loved ones like it or not. Prepare to be spellbound, flabbergasted, disgusted, elated, enraged, delighted and, at times, completely offended as you read through the most authoritative words on the planet. Take what I give you, and like it.
Recent Posts
Disturbed is to Heavy Metal as Miley Cyrus is to Heavy Metal
First of all: What the Hell is this supposed to be?I'll think about that face in the toilet first. What's that about, anyway? Is that supposed to be their Eddy? I might have thought so, except that their basin monster never looms over them menacingly...
They Can't Even Make Themselves Say It
This beer sucks. You know it, I know it and, apparently, the good people in the Natural Light marketing department know it, too. They can't even use the company's real name in its own logo.In this first installment of a series I'm calling "Natural P...
Ryan, How Can I Tell When a Movie Critic Blows at Their Job?
That's easy. All you have to do is look for evidence of any of the following causes of shitty criticism:a) They didn't watch the whole movie, so they're ignorant.b) They think they're anticonformists, so they're in high school.c) They're just undenia...
Constipated? Five Horror Movies that Will Help Ease Your Bowels
Today, I'm a movie critic.Man, are you lucky or what? Not only do you get a healthy dose of my opinion, but you also get to learn about the cure-all for all things constipation: any of my top five horror movies of all time. I'll brief you on my crite...
What I've Learned Should Piss Me Off as a Marketer
I'm going to take a more educational slant with this post. Even though my opinions usually do society a greater service than any mere facts can claim to have done, it's my opinion that a fact or two here or there never made anybody any stupider.There...
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