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The Philosophy of Infidelity

The Philosophy of Infidelity

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Angst and philosophy of a superficially conventional man who has a secret life in which he succumbs to his greatest weakness: women! Lust, love and poor judgement combine to create a cocktail of emotion, twisted morality and humour. This is a tale of sex

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  • The Final Communication

    Posted on Monday September 1st, 2008 at 14:48 in s, ending the affair

    A month later, S called time via an email.This was the gist of it:T,It is over. You have let me down again. I am not going to let you humiliate me any more.I will not let you hurt me. I am a strong person and I am determined to make the most of my li...

  • Dead Couple Walking

    Posted on Sunday August 31st, 2008 at 16:54 in s

    Even today, I am glad that I met S.If I could go back I would change many things but I would not change the fact that I knew her. If there is one thing I have failed to convey in this blog it is what a wonderful person she was. Yes, she was manipulat...

  • Head in Sand

    Posted on Thursday August 28th, 2008 at 15:45 in s

    I'm not proud of it but I didn't use my two months wisely.I stuck my head in the sand. I didn't think about my problems. For the first time in years I focussed on work. It was a busy time and I occupied my mind with corporate tedium.I didn't even kee...

  • Breaking out of the Loop

    Posted on Tuesday August 26th, 2008 at 09:44 in s, e

    According to an article in the New York Sun the brain activity exhibited by people who are in love is very similar to that of those who take cocaine.Frankly, I am not surprised. I have likened my feelings towards S to an addiction on more than one oc...

  • Isolation

    Posted on Sunday August 17th, 2008 at 05:00 in s

    The kids had flu too. So did W. Ours was a plague house but I chose to suffer alone in the spare room.Maybe it was the flu poisoning my brain or maybe it was the isolation of my sickbed, but I began re-evaluating my relationship with S.She had obviou...

  • Flu

    Posted on Friday August 15th, 2008 at 02:43 in humour, advice, s, man flu

    Ladies,Here is how to tell the difference between man-flu and real flu.Place an envelope containing £100* beneath an upturned bucket at the bottom of the garden. Make your man a cup of coffee and take it to his sick bed. Inform him what you have don...

  • Family Support

    Posted on Wednesday August 13th, 2008 at 16:17 in divorce, s

    I continued taking the steps. I called my sister and told her about the end of my marriage. She was very kind and understanding. We had never been close siblings but we spoke for a couple of hours and I felt loved. Afterwards, I was quite choked u...

  • All’s Fair in Love and War

    Posted on Monday August 11th, 2008 at 08:04 in s, women behaving badly

    I had been aware that S’s next door neighbour, a single man of similar age who I shall call Bill, had been pursuing her for a few weeks. I suspect that S was enjoying the attention and, for that reason if nothing else, she had not discouraged it...

  • Walls Closing In

    Posted on Sunday August 10th, 2008 at 14:07 in divorce, s

    It didn’t take long for S to catch on to the fact that my marriage was on the rocks. I had every intention that she and I would live happily ever after once W and I had separated but common sense and bitter experience had taught me that it may n...

  • Mistress or Martyr?

    Posted on Tuesday July 29th, 2008 at 13:44 in s, women behaving badly

    I agreed with some of S's points.For example, I knew deep down that the city shag pad idea was nuts. To this day I do not know whether it was a flawed but otherwise serious suggestion or else some kind of bizarre female trickery.Mind you, I think the...

  • Wrath of the Would-be Wife

    Posted on Thursday July 24th, 2008 at 16:35 in s

    I told S about W's city shag pad idea.She was not impressed."So, you're telling me that you turned your back on me so you could go back to your wife and live a lie? First of all I find out that you sought out another bloody mistress and now I find th...

  • An Unconventional Proposal

    Posted on Tuesday July 22nd, 2008 at 14:08 in s, W, la-la-land

    In the years since I confessed to the affair there is no doubt that W has contemplated divorcing me.She has also thought about ways to preserve the marriage, or at least those aspects of it that she values, whilst simultaneously being ready to change...

  • Mistress Condemns Adulterers

    Posted on Monday July 21st, 2008 at 12:28 in s, jealousy, battle of the sexes, e, confidante

    One of the wonderful things about an affair conducted within a secret bubble is that you don't have to put up with any real world shit. There is no need to worry about the bank balance, the problems the kids are having at school or your spouse's dri...

  • Nostalgia

    Posted on Monday July 14th, 2008 at 15:30 in s, W

    I do love the Mamma Mia musical which is in cinemas at the moment.It is said that part of its success (and that of the stage version which preceded it) is its ability to evoke joyful nostalgia.Hmmm... I'm not so sure sure about the "joyful" bit...I f...

  • Secret Bubble Bursts

    Posted on Thursday July 10th, 2008 at 14:47 in s, confidante

    S, in common with my other mistresses who came later, had no place in my every day life. We met through the internet and our real world paths never crossed. We had no common acquaintances, we worked for different companies in different industries and...

  • Sex with the Ex

    Posted on Saturday July 5th, 2008 at 11:15 in s, learning the hard way

    As it happened, the first time I went to Newville was over a weekend. Consequently, C and E were home with their husbands and S and I were alone.S was at a milestone in her life. It was a moment to reflect upon personal achievement and narrow escapes...

  • The Witches of Eastwick Newville

    Posted on Thursday July 3rd, 2008 at 01:00 in s, e, confidante

    I was aware that the household containing the ex-mistress, the best friend and the almost-mistress was a dangerous melting pot with seriously explosive potential.But I didn't let that worry me.I love to observe the absurd, the insane and the unpredic...

  • Throwing Petrol onto the Flames

    Posted on Monday June 30th, 2008 at 13:44 in s, ethics, e, confidante

    A few months prior to our conversation about her new job in Newville, C and I were discussing a very different topic.She was having a go at matchmaking.This was a period during which S and I managed to abstain from the physical affair although we rem...

  • Playing With Fire

    Posted on Sunday June 29th, 2008 at 15:10 in s, confidante, la-la-land

    C called me."I've got a new job," she said.I was impressed. A couple of months earlier she had walked out on her previous employer without having anything else lined up. I had been shocked and concerned. I rarely change jobs and I could not imagine w...

  • Loving Gift or Debt Settled?

    Posted on Tuesday June 24th, 2008 at 07:41 in s

    I “lent” her the money.I never expected to get it back and I know I never will.I think there were lots of emotions running around inside both our heads in relation to the loan, some positive, others negative.Looking back, I think that the loan pr...

  • What a Fucking Loser!

    Posted on Sunday June 22nd, 2008 at 14:36 in Gambling, s

    This post describes events which occurred after Moving On. It was during a period in which S and I were no longer conducting a physical affair although we often spoke and occasionally met. We pretended to one another that we were just friends but I ...

  • The Lowest Night of My Life

    Posted on Friday June 13th, 2008 at 02:40 in s, W, ending the affair

    When it came to ending my affair with S, I decided to do it by phone. This, I reasoned, was better than S's own favoured mode of communication for dumping me: the text message. I wasn't brave enough for a face to face meeting, not least because I sus...

  • Red Mist

    Posted on Thursday June 12th, 2008 at 09:56 in Rant, s

    No new post today, just a link to a long rant in response to a comment on a recent post.Dear Single Mistresses,I'm sorry if I have over-generalised. I don't really mean to tar you all with the same brush. I hope you know I have lots of respect and sy...

  • Life Goes On

    Posted on Wednesday June 11th, 2008 at 08:57 in s, confidante

    I know this blog has made for heavy reading lately.I was going to post another troublesome post today but I can't bring myself to do it. I can tell from the comments that some of you are finding it emotionally draining and I can assure you it is even...

  • The Brief Period of My Marriage When I Lived With Another Woman

    Posted on Monday June 9th, 2008 at 10:46 in s, W, how not to leave your wife

    At the time of my confession I believe I was suffering from temporary "madness" characterised by two catastrophic behavioural defects:(1) I was being open and honest with both W and S; and(2) I had stopped trying to control or influence events and in...

  • Mistress Does Ironing

    Posted on Thursday June 5th, 2008 at 15:14 in s, after the affair

    You will recall that in the previous post I mentioned that I retrieved some clothing from the laundry basket before making my escape from the marital home.The following day I washed the very same clothes in S's washing machine.She very kindly offered...

  • Hell Hath No Fury

    Posted on Wednesday June 4th, 2008 at 04:33 in s, W, confession, how not to leave your wife

    The events described in this post occurred some years ago immediately after the moment of my confession. I have not managed to describe this episode before because it is painful to me. In fact, even now it has taken me a couple of days to write becau...

  • Moving On

    Posted on Wednesday May 7th, 2008 at 15:21 in s, W, after the affair

    This post follows on from the Toys and Mind Warfare posts.S and I saw each other regularly through the summer of 2003. Often, we would meet up at a pub which was conveniently on the route home for both of us after work. We would then drive together i...

  • Good Girl Bad Girl

    Posted on Sunday April 27th, 2008 at 16:38 in s, bad girl, ms x

    "The difference between you and W is that you are a 'Bad Girl' and she is a 'Good Girl'."This is what I once told S in response to questions about my wife.She went quiet and looked thoughtful. I knew that look. She was hurt and I was in trouble.Women...

  • Mind Warfare

    Posted on Thursday April 24th, 2008 at 07:47 in s, jealousy, battle of the sexes, swinging

    From time to time I used to ponder the possibility that S had read a book on "How to Get Your Married Lover to Leave his Wife". As she gradually raised her game I wondered if the chapters in this mythical guide were sequenced in order of increasing ...