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“You’re Dead To Me”: Not Always The Perfect Words.
I have learned, from experience, that the words, “You’re dead to me” are not always appropriate. The following is a non-exhaustive list of the occasions on which I have used that phrase–in each case, my mother, wife or a compl...
Our Acceptance Speech.
Hi–Great to see you. Thank you [no applause]. Thank you. Please. Thank you very much. [no applause]. We accept your nomination to be . . . or for . . . goddammit . . . we just accept that you picked us to be your guy for President. We will be i...
Your Investments.
How would you like to make 10, 12, even 18 dollars, with no money down? I can’t show you how, but I can brainstorm with you. What if you were to go to law school, graduate near the top of your class and then get a job at a law firm. Chances are...
This Is The Opposite Of Obscurity.
Some writers work, carve, craft, sculpt, etc., just bust their asses for decades and have really very little to show for it. Not us. We don’t write unless we are paid large sums. And then we write short sentences with no adjectives, to maximize...
Why Politicians = Ding-Dongs, Pt. 1.
“I am proud to be a pro-labor candidate because I always tell people if you want to know how America got its great middle class, how we got fair wages, how we got benefits and a shot at the American dream - because of unions. Because they stood...

