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The Skwib
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The Skwib -- Mark A. Rayner's irregular and explosive weblog, a daily sputtering of satire, humor, comedy, and odd, odd fiction...
Recent Posts Tagged With 'shaman'
Thag not fooling himself!
Thag was worried about the morale of the other hunters in the Thunka Grunka tribe. As their leader, it was his responsibility to ensure they worked together well, and it looked as though he had misjudged things. One of their youngest hunters, Donjuag...
Thag not talk much!
Thag’s year with the Drunka Grunka was drawing to a close, and he was almost ready to head back to his own tribe, the Thunka Grunkas. His relationship with the slender and beautiful Twigla was blossoming, and his artwork was a major triumph, de...
Thag not grok milk!
Thag really was starting to enjoy the Grunka gathering. His mate, Onga, was behaving herself, and even the new religion of his tribe’s shaman, Weasel-Scratch-Face-Brother wasn’t bothering him anymore. Every fifth or sixth summer, dependin...
Thag grok cow!
Thag’s sabbatical with the Drunka Grunka tribe was not as idyllic as he thought it was going to be, but on the whole, he was quite enjoying his stay. First of all, the Drunka Grunkas had invented a delectable potage they called “beer̶...
Thag not grok big bottoms!
The trip back to the Drunka Grunka’s lands would be a long one — of all the Grunka tribes, the Drunkas lived the farthest away from the place of the Great Gathering. But Thag was happy. For at least one season he would be free of his mat...
Thag Go Grunka Gathering!
Everyone at the Grunka Gathering was in good spirits, except Thag. Every fifth or sixth summer, depending on the position of the stars, all of the Grunka clans would gather and share their stories, swap items (sometimes mates too) and have a bit of a...
Thag sleep on it!
It had finally happened. No, the Thunka Grunka Clan was not about to finally get rid of that walking meat stick, the shaman Weasel-Scratch-Face Brother. It was not nearly such good news. His ex-mate, Onga, had finally got on the shaman’s nerv...
Thag not grok god!
The natural world was not a mystery — when it rained, they got wet. If they were in the mountains, rain was dangerous because it would swell the streams, making them difficult or impossible to cross. Rain made hunting more difficult, as it tam...
Thag not wear hair gel!
If he were honest, Thag would say that his affair with the nubile Vunga, the half-daughter of the shaman, could not last forever. Not only was she was at least ten years younger, but eventually the Thunka Grunka clan would demand that he and Onga ...
Thag do art!
Ever since he’d started making the cave paintings, Thag had noticed that the women in the Thunka Grunka clan had been looking at him differently. Perhaps it was his position as the leader of the hunting party, but he thought it had more to do w...
Thag do meditation!
Every morning before they started the hunt, Thag would sit down away from the others, close his eyes, and listen to the wind. It was more than that, but that is what he told the other hunters. Really what he did was sit, and let his mind go blank. ...
Thag scared at that time of month!
Thag whistled while he packed for the next trip. He liked to organize short hunting expeditions for a certain week of the month — even if there was little chance of finding game — as it was a good idea to be away from the women-folk of t...
Thag not like mornings!
When he awoke, his mate Onga was less than a hand away from his face, smiling her most dazzling smile. Somewhere, out in the forest, birds were chirping; bright light streamed through the canopy, illuminating the mossy forest floor with dappled patte...
Thag not like f#&*ing shaman!
His mate Onga had finally pushing him too far, and now, Thag was hip-deep in mammoth dung, as they said in the Thunka Grunka clan. He’d returned from the latest hunting expedition flush with success. His new regime of taking risks — but ...
Thag not want get tattoo!
Thag was the leader of the main hunting party, of that there was no doubt. This wasn’t entirely due to his acumen as a hunter. Part of it was because his predecessors had been idiots and extreme risk takers. Under Thag’s leadership, the...
Thag not like cut his toenails!
Onga was always asking him to cut his toenails, and it made Thag crazy. If he cut them too close, then he had nothing to protect the end of his toes. Good nails were especially important when you jumped on the back of an auroch during a hunt. If yo...
Thag want be millionaire!
It had been an unlucky hunting season. First of all, their big man, Grunk, got himself gored by a woolly rhinoceros in the first week of the expedition. Grunk — always the big swinging dick that Grunk — had tried to stab it in the eye ins...
Thag brain not hear, honey
“Thag, don’t forget to bring home that chunk of mammoth meat you left to hang in the forest.” No response from Thag, who is knapping flint with his whacker. He is making more flint arrowheads to replace all of those he lost on the ...
Thag make sex toy!
Thag was preparing himself for a long hunting trip. He’d already sharpened his fire-hardened spear, and collected fresh grasses for insulating his clothes and moccasins. The last thing he needed to do was cut himself a fresh set of knives for ...
