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Why I'm NEVER Having Kids
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You've decided you don't want to have children. So, when people ask you WHY you don't want them, what do you tell them? Tell them to go to WhyImNEVERHavingKids.com, where they can find a plethora of reasons as to why you lack the desire to have kid
Recent Posts Tagged With 'dad'
Why I’m NEVER Having Kids #76: FREE Denny’s Breakfast… Ruined by Screaming Kids!
During the Superbowl, Denny’s ran an ad for their Tuesday nationwide “FREE Grand-slam Breakfast” special. I’m not one to turn down free food, so this morning I got up extra early and headed on over to my local Denny’s. I...
Why I’m NEVER Having Kids #72: They Don’t Understand the Meaning of “Recession”
Above: This guy talks about buying gifts for kids for Christmas while in a recession. Frikkin’ hilarious! The world is in a recession. Economies all around the world are seeing the value of their paper money drop faster than Madonna on prom...
Why I’m NEVER Having Kids #69: They’re Not All THAT Cute
“Awww, wook at dat wittle baby?!? Isn’t he/she so cuuuuute?!?” Well, if you’re a person who absolutely adores kids, seeing a wide-eyed little rascal batting their eyes while sitting in their baby chair would probably make you ...
Why I’m NEVER Having Kids #68: Dealing w/Other Kids’ Parents Can Be a Hassle
Above: A little league coach gets thrown out of a game, causing a brawl to escalate on the field between all the parents. The hassles that come with having kids aren’t always kid-related; sometimes, it’s the having to deal with the parent...
Why I’m NEVER Having Kids #67: They Fall for Peer Pressure Too Easily
Above: A fat kid sitting on top of a playground set is pressured into jumping. WARNING: you may laugh out loud at this!! Everybody has a need or desire to fit in with those closest to them. Unfortunately, kids and teenagers need for acceptance is...
Why I’m NEVER Having Kids #66: Getting Kids to Eat Certain Foods is a Chore
Above: A young girl cries because she doesn’t want to eat her veggies. And she’s LOUD. Kids can be stubborn, especially when it comes to eating. Why, you ask? Here are some fun fact, courtesy of Oprah’s own Dr. Oz: Whereas A...
Why I’m NEVER Having Kids #65: School Daze, Part 5 - Summertime Schoolwork (Is a Chore for EVERYBODY)
Above: A kid complains about his first day back from Summer School. If he was my kid, he wouldn’t be the only one complaining! As if having to pay to send a kid to school wasn’t bad enough, someone decided to think up the genius idea of...
Why I’m NEVER Having Kids #64: School Daze, Part 4 - Getting Kids to Do Homework Sucks Monkey Balls
Above: The top 10 excuses kids can give for not doing their homework. Priceless. (Note: In this 5-part series, I will be discussing the various reasons why having to deal with putting my kids through school makes me NOT want to have them. Feel...
Why I’m NEVER Having Kids #63: School Daze, Part 3 - Tuition is Expensive
Above: A news report about the struggle one family is going through to try and afford college tuition for their daughter. (Note: In this 5-part series, I will be discussing the various reasons why having to deal with putting my kids through school ma...
Why I’m NEVER Having Kids #62: School Daze, Part 2 - Parent-Teacher Conferences are TORTURE!!
Above: A video example of a BAD teacher conference. Hilarious!! (Note: In this 5-part series, I will be discussing the various reasons why having to deal with putting my kids through school makes me NOT want to have them. Feel free to share with ...
Why I’m NEVER Having Kids #61: School Daze, Part 1 - Curriculum Set-Up Not Worth Sending Kids to School
(Note: In this 5-part series, I will be discussing the various reasons why having to deal with putting my kids through school makes me NOT want to have them. Feel free to share with your friends, and add any commentary you might have!) I was blesse...
A Bad Dream Involving a Grabby Kid + Funny Baby Picture Link!
I had a bad dream last night… I was at someone’s house, and for some reason I had my laptop over there, along with some of my other expensive electronic equipment (recording microphone, TI-83 Calculator, etc.). It was all sitting on a tab...
Why I’m NEVER Having Kids #60: Car Trips w/Kids Suck Monkey Balls
Above: Two kids in the back of the car, screaming their butts off while their parents are taking a long drive through France. I can’t imagine putting up with 46 seconds of this, let alone 5 or 6 hours! And now, the top 10 reasons riding in ca...
Why I’m NEVER Having Kids #59: Teen Pregnancy Affects the Parents’ Lives, Too
Above: Jamie Lynn Spears is confronted by reporters about her pregnancy. The parts of Jamie and Britney are played by little kids - it’s cute AND hilarious!! I was a virgin until I was 23. I know that, to some of you, it may seem shocking th...
Why I’m NEVER Having Kids #58: Being a Kid Referee Does Not Appeal to Me
Above: A fat kid comes in the room and asks his brother what’s for dinner - and gets smacked for it. The sounds he makes are annoying, but the video is hilarious!! There was a 6-month period of my life where I lived with my Uncle and his two ...
Why I’m NEVER Having Kids #57: Kids Are Too Easily Scared
Above: Parents scare their children, who had seen a scary movie earlier that night. Extremely hilarious!! Playing the part of “protector” is a very vital role in the job description of being a parent. If something harmful comes along ...
Why I’m NEVER Having Kids #56: They Don’t Bring Me “Joy” (a.k.a. Response to a Comment)
I have a wide audience of people who read the blogs on this site on a regular basis, ranging from those who, like me, never want kids, to parents who can relate to and/or understand the reasons I may not want kids (seeing as they’ve experienced...
Why I’m NEVER Having Kids #55: They Make Me Sick… Literally
Above: A pregnant mom is in bed, and her growing fetus has made her feel ill. Just wait ’til it pops out the oven, lady! My mom used to volunteer part-time as a Day Care Center helper back when my brother and I were going to one after school. S...
Why I’m NEVER Having Kids #54: If They Keep Hitting Me, I’ll Have to Kill Them
Above: A toddler with a mallet hits everything in sight… including the mother filming the video. Hilarious, but I’m glad it’s not me! As one of the older members in the current generation of my family, I’ve had the pleasure...
Why I’m NEVER Having Kids #53: They Break Stuff
Above: A kid breaks a $600 plasma television while playing bowling on Nintendo Wii. There goes that plane ticket to the islands, Mom and Dad! Kids are clumsy, and they break stuff. ‘Nuff said. -A.P. Taylor What, you were expecti...
Why I’m NEVER Having Kids #52: Resenting the Child for Existing
This past weekend was father’s day, where millions of mothers and children give thanks to the Dads who do so much to take care of them. Well, at least the ones who decide to stick around. The day after father’s day, I was talking to one...
Why I’m NEVER Having Kids #51: Kids w/Crappy Names Annoy the $#!+ Outta Me.. and Mine Could Have One!!
Above: Stand-up comedian Finesse Mitchell talking about his short time as a substitute teacher, and how it took him 30 minutes to do roll call. Funny! Some people just shouldn’t be able to have children, especially those that have no common s...
Why I’m NEVER Having Kids #50: Too Many Parents Look Stressed Out
Above: A mother penquin with 3 young’uns. And she looks stressed. People who already have kids do a very BAD job of advertising the benefits of having them. Oh sure, they’ll come to me and say stuff like, “They’re a joy to h...
WHy I’m NEVER Having Kids #49: Viewing Slutty Behavior from Young Girls Is Disturbing
Could your daughter end up being a slut?? Maybe not, but just the idea that my daughter could have slutty behavior is MORE than enough reason for me NOT to have kids - read on for further explanation!...
Why I’m NEVER Having Kids #48: They Can’t Stand Still
Above: A cartoon where a mother bird takes her two little birdies to the post office. This video is 7 minutes long, but the first 2 minutes are, more or less, what I saw at the post office yesterday! Kids are balls of energy that fidget quite often...
Why I’m NEVER Having Kids #47: Hearing Baby Talk from Adults Annoys the $#!+ Outta Me
Above: A mother plays “Peek-a-Boo” with her infant. I think her pitch is LOUDER than Mariah Carey’s high notes! It seems like every time I go out to eat now, my meals end up getting interupted by situations involving children! Yes...
Why I’m NEVER Having Kids #46: Pregnancy Pains for Her… AND Him
Above: A clip from “The Cosby Show” where the men are pregnant. They get to experience all the pains women have during those 9-months. Oh boy! And now, a horror story for all you guys out there: Once upon a time, there was a man and a...
Why I’m NEVER Having Kids #45: They Don’t Come Equipped with Volume Controls
AAAAAAAAAAA!! KIDS ARE LOUD!! THEY TALK LIKE THIS ALL THE TIME!! READ MORE TO SEE WHY THEIR NOISE MAKES ME NOT WANT TO HAVE THEM AROUND!!...
…But What if I DO Have Kids?
In the last couple of weeks, this site has become really popular! People I don’t even know have started reading it, and it’s been quite an interesting mixture of people who, like me, do NOT want kids, and people who have kids and comple...
Why I’m NEVER Having Kids #44: Grocery Shopping With Children is NOT Fun
Grocery shopping with kids is the WORST! Read all about my observations during a recent shopping trip, and why the idea of shopping for food with children riding along is NOT in my future!...
