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A series of silly observations. Toss in a rubber crocodile and some occasional drinking stories, even the sappy poetry gets added. Its gemisched, but mostly silly.
Recent Posts Tagged With 'daily anecdotes'
Wah, wah, waaaaaaahhh!
You ever fuck up while driving and wish you had a "sorry dude" horn. I know what it would sound like. It'd say "wah, wah, waaaaaaaaaah" And if you crashed it would do the 'wah, wah, waaaaaaaaaah" thing and then say "Game Over" across your dash boa...
Wednesdays Weirdos: Anil Reddy
I'm at a Children's Advocacy Center waiting to meet with a guy. We're sitting at this table and I'm doing a crossword when I overhear this man telling a story. A natural eavesdropper, I practiced my talent.So this guy, right? He hears all about ho...
A Horse Corpse in Compost
I was at a meeting on Thursday where 3 awesome things happened. 1. There’s this dude on the committee who I always listen to and can’t put together what its reminding me of. Finally figured out he sounds EXACTLY like John Wayne. Its really, r...
"Good Game!"
Rob has a habbit of sticking out his hand, palm up, all stealthy like right before I sit on the couch. He gits the best guilty grin about it, so pleased with himself. So yesterday, I grabbed his hand, sat on it on the couch, then got up and smacked...
My cute Mexican cousin's husband and how Mickey's never inviting me anywhere again
This is too crazy/me-being-stupid a story not to tell. I was in a crazy good mood yesterday. I wanted to play in the sun all day and drink and make friends and cause trouble and and and...I did.I went with a coworker to the Frisco BBQ where we met ...
La Cucaracha Part II
Remember this post?Well La Cucaracha just got better. I was hanging with a friend this evening and got a travel story from her. While in Honduras doing some do-gooder-nursing-crap they traveled in HumVs across great rocky dusty roads. Each HumV ha...
Barbie's boobies
When I occasionally played with barbies as a girl, I typically took their clothes off and they humped. There, I said it. You prolly did the same thing with your dolls. I'd run my thumb over Barbie's Crayola-tan colored smooth boobs and think how...
Grease the "bottom" of the pan
A number of months ago, I bought a frozen apple pie for Rob. I don't bake, I don't like hot fruit, but I love my husband. And he loves pie. So I bought a simple toss in the oven Sara Lee pie for him. One evening I come into the kitchen and notice...
Dear Book Pimp
So I wrote this book and I think it's pretty decent. That's the feedback I'm getting anyway, which is bitchin' really since I have a degree in Education, NOT writing. Plus, this is my first try, so really I should be happy, right?But, turns out wri...
Where'd the monkeys in my hair go?
I promise I will post Wednesdays' Weirdos again next week, but the pictures for this week got trapped on my camera with a dead battery. Sorry. I suck.Instead I'll tell you a drinking story. We were in St. Louis visiting for the holidays and a rare...
Airport Impulses
Most of my airport impulses are mildly violent. Things like tipping over peoples' baggage while they're standing too close to me, or nudging them into the railing of the moving sidewalk as they speed along, or wanting to whack the flight attendant w...
Why I shouldn't go to state-run trainings
I'm just getting back from Adult Protection Services training. I do not have the attention span to sit still for more than about 8 minutes, unless I am reading a novel, playing the piano (wait that's not still,) or writing (also not sitting still.) ...
Note on the counter
There was a wind storm that knocked a 40 foot tree into our deck, taking down parts of the deck and gutters. It also took out the tomato plant we'd nursed through many summer frostings, carefully bringing it in at night, damnit. But that's beside t...
Mufflers on my Drum Heads
Last night as we were getting ready for bed, Rob came in beating his chest. He was clearly feeling very manly. "Listen to this. No listen to this." bangs on chest, "They're like drum heads."I stick out my chin, try to make my neck disappear, and ...
The Week in Review
On Wednesday morning I went running. I was running in a new place which always makes my awareness a bit heightened: cars, strange folks, trouble to make. By 7:00, the number of warming up, running cars had quadrupled and I could hardly control the ...
A Slight Tendency for the Oppositional
We came to a small coffee shop/deli today so that I could work on my book and we could all enjoy a quiet afternoon of reading/interwebbing/whatever. As I headed to the bathroom I stepped on a napkin on the floor in front of the counter. The barista...
How to Bug Your Spouse, Part Deux: Siblings
So I met a kindred spirit who also lives to annoy: Brianne's brother Justin. He spent the evening, Saturday night, hugging her with a shit-eating grin of sinister intent. Her response: "Don't touch me." A wise one since he, apparently, is prone ...
Big Nipples
I received a voicemail from my brother today informing me that my niece, the absolutely gorgeous 2 year old Ms. Linnea was walking around the house with a pot lid on her chest saying, "Look at me! I've got big nipples!"...
Aliens: to befriend or to eat?
Over the past weekend we had some friends over to celebrate Rob's birthday. I'm not sure how the topic of Rob's fear of aliens came up... (He gets really scared if he watches those alien watch shows late at night and I think its hilarious and might ...
