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A Naked lady walks into a bar....
Posted by Sam1982 • 7/21/09 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: finish the quote, john bender
Naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm, and a two-foot salami under the other. The bartender says, I guess you won't be needing a drink. Naked lady says...
User Comments
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What? no one has seen the breakfast club?
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I have seen it but i could not remember that scene.* shakes head to register thought* -
When John Bender is climbing through the ceiling he tells this joke - but he never finishes it as he falls through the ceiling. However his next line straight after was "forgot my pencil"
So this thread is to come up with the punchline -
the lady said:not if i have my hands full at the moment..would you like to take my parcels so i can have a drink?
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that's horrible!
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Naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm, and a two-foot salami under the other. The bartender says, I guess you won't be needing a drink. Naked lady says...
I reporting you to the human rights commission for your hateful and discriminstory remarks concerning my sexuality...
The bar and bartender are fined 10,000 dollars each... -
The naked lady says: Got any ice?
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That's it??????
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Nope - there is no real answer
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..."you don't understand man, chunks is my dog!"
wait, wrong joke...
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Naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm, and a two-foot salami under the other. The bartender says, I guess you won't be needing a drink. Naked lady says...
....actually I didn't say anything!-
That was you???? LOL
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Naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm, and a two-foot salami under the other. The bartender says, I guess you won't be needing a drink. Naked lady says...
right after i eat the salami.well you do need a drink after you eat something... -
you didn't recognize me because of the poodle I guess!
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The poodle was so furry it hides even the lady's face.
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Naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm, and a two-foot salami under the other. The bartender says, I guess you won't be needing a drink. Naked lady says...
"Stop looking at my T**Ts" -
Naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm, and a two-foot salami under the other. The bartender says, I guess you won't be needing a drink. Naked lady says...
Heeelllooo! I am here. -
"This isn't the Governors Mansion!"
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The naked lady says: *In an Arnie voice* "I need your pants, your jacket and your shoes". And holds up a picture of John Conner "have you seen this boy?"
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Naked lady says:
"You gotta be kidding me - I just left my husband and took everything that ever made him happy!"-
not bad
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The naked lady says:
"My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard....." -
Dammit. If only Bender didn't fall through the ceiling that time. Isn't there a DVD feature where he gets to the punchline before falling through?-
I dont know - I hear he ad-libbed the whole thing so chances are there wasnt a punchline anyway
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Let's start a petition so Judd Nelson will come up with a proper punchline for it.
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Im sure theres something on IMDB already
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Nah. All it does is confirm what you said. I did read that John Hughes has the only copy of the original cut (2½ hours). That'd be fun to watch.
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Lady: "oh HELL no! I do private parties only!
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Lady: "Is this where they are shooting the PETA ad?"
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Ha! PETA.
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The naked lady says:
"If you send the CCTV footage to youtube I'm gonna f'n kill you!!" -
Lady: "Last time I take g----amned Ambien!"
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lady: got anywhere that I can stick this salami?
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lady: is this the set of "A night in Paris 2??"
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lady: "Well that was a lousy poker game!"
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Lady: "Hold on, i have my ID"
o_0 -
Lady: "My bachelorette party went just as I expected"
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Lady: What? never seen a lady holding a 2ft salami under one arm and a poodle under the other before?
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Lady: "There isn't really a donkey show, is there?!"
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Lady: "Hi. Did you see a lavender aardvark walking by?"
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lady: lets see you prepare something with this cookingasshole!
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Lady: "This is what you get from our divorce settlement."
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"Never try to buy a wiener dog on the black market..." -
Lady: "Now ain't this a peach?" -
Lady: " I love the smell of Napalm in the morning, smells like________?"
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Lady: *sings* "smells like fish - tastes like chicken, you wont find out till you start lickin"
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LOL... finger lickin..mmm mmmmm good
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Lady: 'Doo doo doo doo, doo-doo, do-Wah!' It doesn't matter what comes, fresh goes better in life, and Mentos is fresh and full of life. ...
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with the lights out it's less dangerous, here we are now, intertain us....
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Lady: "What? is there something stuck in my teeth?"
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"I know where to keep my salami for a while to hold better the glass, you stupid!" -
" oh i didn't know i am presently without clothes....oh...is this a bar? must be the xanax."
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Naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm, and a two-foot salami under the other. The bartender says, I guess you won't be needing a drink. Naked lady says...
..You’d be right, but you better have a few drinks on me as these are for you and trust me, you’ll be needing them.-
ouch!
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lol couldn’t resist
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Haha interesting that no man has suggested that line yet
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Lady: Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear, fuzzy wuzzy had no hair, so fuzzy wuzzy wasn't fuzzy was he?
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honka wonka what is that, honka wonka is that a bat?
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Lady: Would you could you on a boat, would you could you with a goat?
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Naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm, and a two-foot salami under the other. The bartender says, I guess you won't be needing a drink.
Salami says .. I don't have a mouth - can you slap some mustard on my ass and poodle?-
Now that's funny
lol
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"Quick! Hide the sausage and then take the bitch for a walk"
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Okay! Here's the real punchline to this joke ....
Naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm, and a two-foot salami under the other. The bartender says, I guess you won't be needing a drink. Naked lady says...
Afterwards. Thanks! -
Naked lady says...
No, but I will take a few of your little umbrellas please!-
kinky! haha
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It took me the whole day to come up with something, jajajajaja
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Oh well the thought process obviously paid off haha
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A naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm, and a two-foot salami under the other. The bartender says, I guess you won't be needing a drink.
Naked lady says...my husband wants to play 'hide the salami' and I thought this might be a good place!-
Bartender says: " Here, let me help you with that, By the way my name is Dr. Dover"
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Bartender "Dr. Ben Dover"
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LOL! Hee hee. Now behave!
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A naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm, and a two-foot salami under the other. The bartender says, "I guess you won't be needing a drink."
The naked lady says, "I will when I'm done with these!"
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The naked lady says, "Yes, I will. My husband sent me out for two foot-longs and a dog, and I'm not looking forward to putting on the sauerkraut." -
Lady: " Is there a Dr. Dover here, Dr. Ben Dover?"
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Naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm, and a two-foot salami under the other. The bartender says, I guess you won't be needing a drink. Naked lady says..."Gimme a poodle's worth of gin! I have to practice with this salami before tonight's big winner takes all gang bang at the dwarf rodeo."-
I think it might be time for that 'time out!'
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Lady: I guess not, Harold. I guess you're going to tell my mother I'm an alcoholic, huh? Just like last Christmas? You make me sick. Get me a rum and coke.
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Naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm, and a two-foot salami under the other. The bartender says, I guess you won't be needing a drink. Naked lady says...
no thanks, I am trying to decide whether I prefer live or dead meat. -
Lady: Nobody move - this is a stick up!
Bartender: Why yes it is.... -
Naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm, and a two-foot salami under the other. The bartender says, I guess you won't be needing a drink. Naked lady says...
"play it again Sam"
*As Time Goes By* plays.... -
Naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm, and a two-foot salami under the other. The bartender says, I guess you won't be needing a drink. Naked lady says...
"No actually I'll take one right away"...
Bartender looks at her again and says, "sure thing Miss, and if you could you explain why you're naked and why you've got those things with you, I'll even pay for it."
"OK," says the blonde as she sits up on the leather barstool, causing all the other patrons to grimace at the bizarre noises leather makes with naked skin.
The blonde takes a big gulp out of the whiskey...
"Everything was going great. Sam and I were playing Hide the Salami when a phone call came in. It was his wife, I didn't know he was married, honest. So he looks at me after he gets off the phone and said he screwed the Pooch and his wife was coming to kill him and the Naked Bimbo he was with."
"uh huh..." the bartender says, hanging on every word... "do go on." He pours her another glass.
"Well..." the blonde swigs off the glass again and holds it out for a refill.
Every eye turns to her as she continues her story.
"So I grabbed the Salami, ran into the bathroom and stripped quickly so I could prove I was a blonde and not a brunette."
A few people rolled their eyes.
But the bartender poured another drink, which she guzzled down, nodding her on to finish up the story.
"And I grabbed the poor little pooch on my way out - it just isn't right, a married man carrying on with such a sweet little puppy like this..."
The bartender takes a swig out of the bottle himself and rolls his eyes.
"Then Why are you here? I mean you're naked and have a dog and a salami?"
"Oh... that..." THE blonde shrugs her shoulders...
"I dunno. Sam started the story because he was bored. So just like a typical BORED man, he wants to see naked women holding big packages and down on all fours."
She stands up and grabs her pooch and salami and starts walking towards the door, "Unfortunately because he's at work right now... It ended up being a silly joke - about a poodle... "
And as she walks out everyone can see the small tattoo on her left buttock. I HEART SAM....
*GRIN*
I really have NO freaking clue what the joke was all about in The Breakfast Club...
I think the punchline was: I guess you won't be needing a drink - but Bender kept going because the ceiling didn't give way like it was supposed to and he was ad-libbing.-
True story....
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Lady: I was wondering if you knew how to make a salami and sopressata calamari that is wrapped in bacon with roasted asparagus
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