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Are Business Women All Just Poorly Communicating Bundles of Nerves?
Posted by ThriftShopRomantic • 8/25/09 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: assertiveness, leadership, seminars, women in business
I got a seminar flier within the last day, and I keep thinking about it, so I thought I'd open it up for discussion here...
I've been in b-to-b marketing for almost 20 years now, so I was a little surprised to see this local Women in Business Conference targeting the following topics:
--Conflict Management Skills Especially For Women
--A Brand-New you... Assertiveness Skills That Lead to Success
--Learning to Lead
--How to Keep Difficult People from Ruining Your Day
--Keep Your Emotions from Running the Show
--Presenting Yourself as a Woman Who's Going Places
I looked at the sum of the topics and thought-- seriously?
Did they consult any business women about their needs when they developed this?
Because in total, the impression I got was our only concerns in business are that we're all too whipped out emotionally with no sense of control.
And from the situations I've seen, the inability to control outcomes in a dynamic business environment is not gender-specific. But the result of politics and too many cooks all wanting input.
Anyway, for other folks in business out there, does this ring true at all to your experience?
Do these topics seem relevant to your needs?
I'm just curious.
User Comments
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The "How to Keep Difficult People from Ruining Your Day" is the only thing that catches my eyes and gasp! I need it outside of work. I do agree that this makes it seem like we are helpless, emotional/emotionally spent. But I see their marketing strategies, imo, they are preying on most business women's fears. I would not attend such an event to improve my biz because they don't offer what I need.-
I agree that was the one that really had me say, "Wait a minute... what's the deal here?" Most of my feelings about it was cumulative.
And you may be right about the fear angle. That's often a strong motive for mobilization, so that may be the idea here, too.
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Are they serious with this seminar :|! All these topics are just too typical for words. Very annoying. It's like you said the inability to control the outcomes isn't gender specific. At the places I worked all the business ladies had their act together and could manage their things.
How did they come up with this? Is there some research done about this?-
I don't really know the answer to that.
I think I would have not had the negative feeling about it, if it had been noticeably targeted toward women just entering (or re-entering, after a long lapse) the workforce. Women who might be entering these sorts of situations for the first time.
Oh-- I forgot, there are also tips on:
--Using Feng shui in your workplace
--Personalizing your work space to feed your spirit
Because when I have to develop content to be reviewed by corporate bigwigs or their legal team for approval, I need to make sure my potted plants are all lined up in a positive way. -
Yeah that would be a better angle. It's just kinda silly that they generalize all women as emotional unstable. From all I've seen and all the business ladies I've met, they were strong minded and knew what they want. Sometimes it even scared me hehe.
Personalizing and Feng Shui in your workplace...well I bet there are lots of guys who want that too ^_^. Perhaps the group who are into coaching others and self motivation...
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i would not go to an "emotional" seminar. now talk to me about getting discounts for being a business owner, teach me how to stretch the budjet and get ads for pennies on the $$, improve my bottom line and take my biz to the next level and i'll be ready to go asap.
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Yup, and there's not one session along the practical lines. Just image and personality related.
I can say, in the years I've been working with businesses, being female has been a lot less of an issue for me than being younger than many of my colleagues.
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I would question these two:
--Keep Your Emotions from Running the Show and--Presenting Yourself as a Woman Who's Going Places
The first one is badly phrased and gives the impression this is a major problem to be addressed for women. I don't think this is a gender specific problem: Doesn't it go without saying that it is wise not to let personal life and your emotions interfere with your work or business?
The second one because I think the business should be speaking of going places regardless of gender. Just speaking for myself I am very serious about the things I do and it speaks volumes, and the last thing I am worried about is trying to prove myself as a woman.-
Heh, yes, the "Keep your emotions from running the show" piece details things like:
--"How to overcome your 'fear of foolishness' and loosen up a little" and
--"What to do when you're really upset and you known you're going to cry."
Welcome to WeepyCorp-- (sniff, sob)-- how can I direct your call? (nose blow) -
OK, I could use that last one...when I get really, really pissed, I cry. And that makes me even MORE pissed! I am inclined, in that moment, to stiffen my spine and say "You know what? F**k you!" Then turn and walk out.
It's really a good thing that I have an extremely long fuse and don't get angry often, hmm? -
I think most people have that pushed-to-the-limit frustration that either works itself out in the need to get some adrenaline out of the system-- either crying, or taking a good steaming long walk, or, I've heard of a few male execs who have punched through walls. (Not exactly the best approach either, that last one.)
I had a job years ago where I would get so frustrated, I'd go and cry in the one place no one would think to go-- the supply closet!
But I tried not to let my frustration then affect how I actually HANDLED the situation.
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I think what would have been more interesting to explore is the gender differences in management style (if there is such a difference), choice of business' and business approaches and how to take advantage of said differences.
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I think, too, in HOW MUCH information to convey at a time, when presenting ideas.
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Also the kind of men/women who would go in to business to begin with. Because of the good mother and career women stereotypes being extravert (the one more capable at business) and intravert (the one less capable at business) respectively, it may be less a matter of inherent inability and more of society throwing out the wheat instead of the chaff. -
I'm afraid I'm not quite understanding. Can you elaborate just a little? In which instance is society throwing out the wheat instead of the chaff?
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I think I clarify it below, but in movies especially and throughout our daily lives we push these two stereotypes: family women, and, well, Hermaimie. One of them is an extravert who stays at home with the kids, the other is an intravert who studies and works. The intravert becomes a businessmen, something intraverts usually aren't that good at, while the extravert becomes stay-at-home mom or working mom at a level salary not attempting to climb the ladder but maxing out time off for the children.
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I gotcha-- I'd read your other post afterwards, which did clarify.
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*headdesk* -
Wow, I'm not a woman, but I find those topics a little absurd. I will say that my wife works as a director of a learning center. I'd say a good 90% of the staff is women. From the reports I hear and from past experiences...including litigation...it seems like most of the drama is caused by the men who work there.
I'm not making a judgment on whether one sex is more rational than the other, but it seems to me that having seminars targeted to women about controlling emotions and not letting people ruin your day is insulting. Even if they are valid topics, they are valid for everyone not just women.-
Jay, you've pinpointed the concern I was having with the piece.
And to relate to another thread about stereotyping, in some respects it does seem like by pandering to the stereotypical ideas of women in business as emotional and unable to assume control, they're really doing more harm to the businesswoman cause as a whole.
Instead of representing their needs, they're showcasing perceived stereotypical flaws. -
Interesting question: Is either gender more prone to drama, or is it whichever gender happens to be in the minority (and thus less able to communicate and slightly demeaned for perceived emasculation/scorn) at that particular setting? Because I've heard reports of the opposite, especially in military, industrial and engineering settings where men are the majority.
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Perceived (and real) inequities in power balance are typically going to bring out squeaky wheels of both genders. The dramas I've seen in terms of male execs tend toward the ego stroking/business perks type. Much more image and ethics issues than direct overt personal conflict.
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What bloody awful wishy washy titles!
I think seminars like this shy away from using words like 'stress' and Mental Health' because they can't sell them as well, which is ridiculous.-
Stress management doesn't sound cool... -
That is true, but stress kills! Which is kinda depressing, so I guess that wont sell either.
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I imagine fewer folks are going to think, "Hm, this is affecting my mental health" as "I don't want to look weak in the workplace."
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I know all about stress, I get to deal with people in some of the worst possible situations.
But when you think about it, cleverly disguising stress management as something else may attract more people, which will then hopefully help more people. -
Possibly. I do think they're not going to end up getting a good chunk of the women who are deeply involved in business and could use real stress management, though, because of the cutesy positioning.
Right from the cover, featuring an illustrated woman in a blue dress holding a rose in one hand and a purse-like briefcase in the other, it sets a tone against that. -
There should be no stigma about looking after your mental health, but I know there is.
What could you dress stress management up as, so as to attract people from both sexes? -
Hmm, maybe
Backstabbing 101: how to become a success like a man!
Grow some: how to get some metaphorical balls
Sex with the secretary? Learn the secrets your boss knows
carpitt- to get guys this is all you need to add.
Stress Management Class. There will be free beer and strippers -
Dealing with difficult people, and maximizing their response to you. I think uniformly, that's how people might view it. The external forces-- the difficult people-- not the stress, or taking on too much, or any other thing that flows into it.
Possibly you could also add in multi-tasking under tight deadlines, or time management. -
@DB Interesting choices, I actually think some of those would be popular unfortunately!
@Jenn Imagine the workplace whisperings if you knew someone from the office was going to a 'Dealing with difficult people' seminar
I have never actually been to any conferences or seminars so I have no idea what people get out of them? Have you been to any? -
About two. And frankly, they've ended up being largely simplistic, I've felt. More of a cursory look at a topic for the uninitiated, rather than anything somebody who deals with the topics daily might find valuable.
In my office, the "dealing with difficult people" topic would actually not have been applied internally as externally, for customer service issues. So, really, any of my coworkers would just smile and nod. "Ah, yes... So-and-So, huh?"
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I don't think that's true as a statement of the gender or of all business woman, but what I do think is true is that, because of certain cultural ideas and how girls are portrayed in movies et cetera, there is a tremendous pressure for particular women with no business or communication aptitude to go in to business as a way of "showing them" or finding advancement (the girls with good grades who study all day, Hermaimie stereotype.) Conversely, there may also be women (split in society) who are pressured to not go in to business because they value people and end up fulfilling the homemaker or content working mom stereotype, when in fact those are the more extraverted kind of women who actually would make good business people.
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I'm sure there's a share of both. I have seen a certain amount of young female execs basically biding their time in the workforce until they can get married and be homemakers. But there are an equal amount of highly competent women balancing both families and full-time jobs. It's too hard to broad-brush.
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We're talking societal trends right now though, collective level.
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If we're talking societal trends right now, it's possible the brochure might be in response to the economy-- with more women working who might not otherwise be choosing to, just to make ends meet.
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Good point. But what effect, if any, do you think the portrayal of women as these two archetypes in movies and popular culture has among young girls?
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You know, I can't really say. I do know that until you're directly involved in the business setting, you don't really see how the different personalities (and stereotypes) play out.
I do know there's a lot of pressure from women on both the career-oriented side and the stay-at-home-mom side to be a certain thing-- or rather, in my opinion, to help each woman confirm their own choices in life.
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Well .. I'm self-employed .. but, if I worked for "the man" or any other corporation, I'd luv it if they sent me on an all-out paid conference trip to the Bahamas or Hawaii ..
Sample "__men" in Business Conference seminars I'd attend:
--Conflict Management Skills Especially For __men
--A Brand-New you... Assertiveness Skills That Lead to Success
--Learning to Lead
--How to Keep Difficult People from Ruining Your Day
--Keep Your Emotions from Running the Show
--Presenting Yourself as a __man Who's Going Places-
Um... How about scenic Pittsburgh, and pay-your-own-way?
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Hmm.. maybe if there was a blogging contest involved, I might enter
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Having been to one-too-many of such seminars in my life, I've got to say that my honest take is that they (the seminars) are just a bag of hot air or retread things you already knew, packaged as some groundbreaking "discussion" with a fancy binder and maybe a few giveaway freebies for the attendees after their bosses have shelved out obscene amounts of cash in order to bring the speaker/presenter into the work place.
That's just my experience though. I find them all mind numblingly boring - even when the presenter is skilled in their delivery.-
I would tend to agree with that. It's a bit like many online SEO posts or "making money" articles. What works has been said a million times, so there's not a lot of fresh information to expound, for the most part.
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All I can imagine is how the conference handouts/goody bags must look for this conference, Jenn.
Here's what you get for attending:
Pamprin samples
Pocket-packs of tissues
Waterproof Mascara
A pink sparkle diary with matching pink feathered pen
and a button to wear that says "Talk to the Hand" for those times when you just can't deal with those "difficult" people.
What bugs me is that your conference is put on by an organization that hopes to support and promote WOMEN! ... I find the agenda more appealing to teenage girls than grown professionals.
If I were you -- lovely Pittsburgh notwithstanding -- I'd stay home.-
lol ... I've also attended one like that ... teenybopper stuff ...
I developed a headache and had to leave. -
Yes, I think I will be giving it a miss. Or missus. Or Ms.
Either way. -
I could not stomach it. It was pink and lilac, fluffy and very teenybooper. It was so bad that I really did get a headache. One day I will write a blog post about these ridiculous "for women in business" conferences, workshops and conventions I have attended. I learned my lesson. If the advertising states "for women" I will NOT register.
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lol... looks like a man made that flier!-
It would be interesting to know, wouldn't it?
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If I was going to invest time in skills training, it wouldn't be for a course like this but I can't say they are totally out of line with that agenda. As a former Fortune 500 executive, I frequently was told that I was "getting emotional" when I was merely expressing my opinion. Of course, when the other gender took on similar tones, it was never challenged.
Personally, I know many female colleagues who could benefit from this sort of training. I've actually "coached" some of them when I sense they are approaching a business problem emotionally or, worse yet, giving up "their power" to the person who is bullying them.
Regardless of gender and even if you feel you ARE good at all the things on that list, it never hurts to hone your assertiveness skills, nor to learn different ways to handle conflict because these are necessary tools in your belt when you are in business, especially if you are a solopreneur, like me.
Virtually Marj Wyatt -
all those titles are just 'copy' , emotional tags to attract people
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