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Are the Majority of Your Friends the Same or Opposite Sex?
Posted by lotusb • 10/14/09 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: fried ends
Aside from my best friend (Roscoe of BC) the majority of my friends are male. I tend to find a lot of women to be competitive and insecure. I am attracted to confidence...from either sex. I like my friends to be happy for me without being jealous, and comfort me without bathing in my misfortune. I tend to find this quality in female friends more than male, and while I know most women are smarter than that and not all women are that annoying...men just seem so much easier..
How about you?
User Comments
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This has shifted a bit as I've gotten older. For most of my life, the vast majority of my friends were men, but now (in my 40s) I would say the balance has shifted slightly toward women. It's definitely still a mix, but the proportions have changed.-
Interesting. Any idea why?
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I'm not sure, but I think there are a few factors. The biggest one is probably just where I've been for the past several years. I made a lot of male friends in college and law school and in the working world, but for the past thirteen years my focus has shifted to kids. While I still worked in some capacity or other for most of that time, it was no longer "where I lived". My life was about something else. And though there are exceptions, of course, you don't run into a lot of men volunteering for the elementary school Halloween party or at Mommy & Me.
And another part, I think, stems from the fact that a large number of my male friends have told me in later years that they started talking to me with something other than friendship in mind--as a middle-aged mother of teenagers, I get less of that than I did at 25.
When I just counted up, I realized that among the people I would call close friends, about 60% are still men...but three out of four of the ones I interact with on an almost-daily basis are women. And while most of my male friends have been in my life for decades, only one of those women has--the rest of my close female friends are all people I've met in the past 6-7 years.
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I don't get men in general. My friends are mostly women. We don't compete we just support each other with whatever is going on in our lives.-
You don't "get" men..meaning you don't understand them?
I'm the polar opposite. I get men, and women confuse me to death. -
Lotus, I would have said the same until just a few years ago. In fact, five or six years ago a woman friend who is a few years older than I am commented that she was really getting the importance of women friends for the first time in her life, and I remember not really getting what she was talking about. But I get it now.
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Yup, that's exactly what I meant.
I'm married to one and even though we talk and have a good relationship it isn't the same. I can't ask him how my hair looks and get a sincere answer "you look fine" and a shrug of the shoulders. I could wear a potato sack and he'd be happy. My friends give me an answer beyond that and tell me why. It's just a different relationship.
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In my teens and 20s most of my close friends were men. In my 30s and 40s I preferred the company of women. Now, I just like to be alone. -
I have all different kinds of friends... most of my bff's are my cousins...we see each other on a daily bases. I am always happy for whenever they are blessed,and I think they feel the same for me. I know what u mean about them being catty though.
Boys are easy to get along with if you know anything about BEER,WOMEN,SPORTS,and CARS...I know about all of those-
Well my male friends are mostly writers and artists, far from the typical Sports Nut, most of them don't even watch TV.
But yes I agree it's a plus that I have a gross and sexually invasive view that most guys seem to get a kick out of. -
Everyone is different. Most of the men in my life would look at you like you'd come from another planet if you started talking about those things. They're more interested in literature, theology, as-yet-undetermined ramifications of quantum mechanics in everyday life, etc.
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Yes anything to do with sex ur getting attention
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Beer? Not interested. Women? If I'm in the mood, but not something I talk about. Sports? No. Cars? No.
Now, if you want to talk about the latest Fermilab experiments, I'm all ears. -
That's right by my house.
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guys for hanging out .. gals for giving and getting help at home and work -
i got some female frnds and male frnds...but i guess male frnds are much helpful den female one...they just try to interact when they are in need....male are not lyk dat... -
No males aren't like that at all...they run when it comes to a girl needing a shoulder to cry on un less they are gay then they cry with you. My bff chris is gay and he is the best guy in the world to talk to...
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I think it depends on what kind of support you need. I'm not one to waste time crying on someone's shoulder--I'm solutions-oriented and if I've reached a point where I'm feeling badly enough that I can't see a solution then what I need is for someone to cut through that and reintroduce reality. Some of my male friends are wonderful for that. But it's not strictly a gender thing; when I was married my husband always wanted to hug and commiserate when we had a problem and I wanted him to let go of me so I could get on about fixing it.
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m in INDIA...try and make some male frnds from india..i trust vry few girls here..nd boys they don cry..
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@MadameX
Actually a hug could help him.. it would release good harmones in his body and relax him and he would work better
Whenever I need to drive to a new place hundreds of miles away I make sure I get a hug from my wifey -
gr8 idea..wi.ll try next time..but no wife yet...
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Yes hugs are GR8888
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I would hate to be at a funeral with madamx...that is unless she thinks she can fix death to. Last time I checked only one could do that....
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Different issue, Holly. I'm happy to offer what OTHER people need, even if it's not what would work for me. But when it's my problem, I want anyone who isn't going to assist in moving forward to get out of my way.
I'm never sure whether you honestly misunderstand every single thing I say or you work hard and finding the most negative interpretation and restating it to mislead others.
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In college, I would say I had about an equal number of male and female friends.
But more recently, while I still have some good male friends (some of them the same folks from college, actually), I probably spend more time with the female friends.
There's a benefit to both. I think in terms of writing for a broad audience, it's helpful to be able to relate to male AND female interests. -
I tend to befriend males much easier than females, but overall my friends are quite balanced. I tend to get along with everyone I meet.-
Me to uless they're frigid ice queens/kings
oooooh I just got a chill...
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In high school, college and uni, I had more male friends, but of late I seem to be collecting friends of the female variety.
I have found both to have annoying qualities and both to have great qualities in equal measure.-
Interesting--that's at least three of us (plus the friend I referenced above) who have experienced that trend as we got older. You're a good bit younger than I, though, aren't you Claire? (and I don't mean just because you've blended all your birthdays into one continuous day)
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Well I think my circle of friends changed a lot when my mum got really ill and then with my choice of career change (counselling), it was and has been a more female orientated world since then. It may change again when I am back into the real working world, but probably not.
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I have 3 close female friends, and that's about it. Two of them I see now and again, the other has been my (best) friend since high school.
I have one male friend that is 20 years older than me. He respects the friendship boundary, which is why it has worked out. In the past, a few of my male 'friends' would try and pressurize me into having sex with them, or behave like boyfriends whenever we went out together. That's when I ended the friendship.
And you're right, many women are bitchy and competitive. I'm not interested in that crap. -
My friend are mostly guys. We keep things simple: girls we wanna bang, sports, the hot chick we saw today at the gym, beer, pizza, beer pizza and banging the hot chick we saw today at the gym while watching sports. It's a great life.
I try and stay away from friends who are girls because they usually like to spill their personal stuff on me, like their bf problems, bf problems, bf problems, and some deep dark secret I never wanted to know in the first place. It just gets awkward and I'd rather have a beer and talk about banging chicks.
Sorry if this offends you ladies, but it's true of most guys.-
I don't think it is, trailofpen. I know a lot of guys who have no interest in sports, and while I'd agree that most (straight) men "wanna bang chicks", not all consider it a scintillating topic of conversation. I'm sure men (or at least some of them) are different with other men than they are with women, but my male friends often share ideas or insights that have come out of discussions with their male friends, and they run more toward politics, religion, literary themes, philosophical points, etc. I'm sure that's not all they talk about, but it's certainly a part.
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It's about 80% of all conversations, unless they are married, then it's about 40% wanting to bang chicks and 30% about problems in the marriage.
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I think it might depend on the men.
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Well, I'm talking about straight men with a libido.
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I know a lot of straight men and the majority of them don't fit into your stereo type up there...I really do think it depends on the guy. Not every woman wants to dump on men all day and cry about secrets. Some women have more to talk about.
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We shall see, top: tiffanytalks.blogspot.com/2009/10/say-it-aint-so-guys.html
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Most of my male friends are straight, and we never talk about that stuff. Alcohol was demystified to me by my parents when I was younger, so I never felt a rebellious high for drinking it and thus only do so on occasion, but never in excess. My friends only mention attractive women if it's necessary to the context of a story, and the woman is never the story itself. Cars and sports aren't among out interests, although Roswell does go iceskating with his girlfriend every other week and that might count as a sport.
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about a 65/35, female/male ratio -
75% of my friends are male (5% gay, 70% straight), 25% are female (4% gay, 13% bi, 8% straight).
Topics of conversation that we tend to have: Internet memes, video games, recent events, philosophy, society, religion, atheism, sexual ethics, ethics in general, the effects of discrimination on society, ageism, comedy (Jon Lajoie, Lewis Black, and Jeff Dunham are the most popular).
Topics of one-sided conversation that I tend to lecture: Science, philosophy. -
Most of my friends are male and always have been. I have a couple of close female friends, but most of their friends are men, too. I've always been a "one of the guys" kind of female, little interested in the stereotypical "girly" things. That hasn't changed, but I have known a lot of women baffled by things frilly, pink, or with lipstick smooches on them, by bothering with full makeup and spending an hour doing your hair.
Then again, hubby's oldest and dearest friends are almost all women. Some of them married his male friends, which means that they were also around (and some still are), but it's the girls he grew up with that he most likes to visit. He's never been a "ladies man" but he totally gets and is comfortable with a certain kind of female. 'Course, a bunch of the guys have turned out to be total losers...
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