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Can a woman raise a boy into a man?
Posted by stayfitbug • 9/15/09 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: life, love, women
Is this possible? Can a woman alone raise a young boy into a REAL man throughout all the stages in his early life?
User Comments
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I'd say so. My mom was raised only by a mother for all stages of her life (her dad left when she was 5), and she turned out fine. I also had a close friend in High School who was raised only by his mom and he turned out well too. -
yes.
www.iloveindia.com/parenting/single-parenting/fatherless-children.html
"Single moms' sons can succeed, new research shows"
www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2008-08-27-single-moms-succeed_N.htm -
I will say though that a single mom especially should be tolerant of some of the less pleasing to the eye aspects of her male childs development - that's probably more important then the presence of a male figure. Let your kid play with guns. Let him play with matches. It's okay - part of how boys grow up.
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"let your kid play with guns"??
How is that a part of male de velopment? -
every kid musta had toy guns... i did. It then moved on to film and video games. But that's where it ends
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I have no intention what so ever of allowing my children to ever think guns are toys. That simply won't enter my home. I imagine plenty other people feel the same.
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If you have any real guns in the house, it would be wise to explain to him the dangers and risks of misusing a gun before he winds up learning it through a gruesome accident. Possibly at some pre-teen age like 8, they would be old enough to understand what's a toy and what isn't. -
@lotusb: I mean toy guns. Sorry about that.
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Talk about stereotyping lol! I loved my toy gun with caps as a kid, and I loved video games when they came out. My husband liked neither,and my son never had a toy gun (loved video games though).
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@jafa: The stereotype has truth to it. Look up research by the British board of Education on male children raised with and without war toys.
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one just can't assume that stereotype fits EVERYONE just because some children are conditioned to fit a stereotype.
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Of course this is possible .. in fact, it happens ALL the time. I have known several single mother's that have raised boys on thier own and they turned out to be wonderful people. This is not to say that a child does not need influence from members of his or her own sex but it certainly is possible.
As for Jeremy's comment on letting your kid play with guns and matches ... are you serious? I really hope that when your son burns the house down, you explain to the fire department that you gave him said matches, cause you know .. he's a boy and all. o_0-
That's why he plays with them OUTSIDE....
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In my experience, boys raised by single mothers are often better men than those raised in two-parent families. They haven't seen any negative behaviors modeled, and because they have played a different role in the family than they might have with an adult male present, they often seem more inclined to step up and do what needs to be done and to treat women with respect. They've seen that women are competent and capable enough to run the household, but are also accustomed to being called upon to do their part in the family.-
I think that one is a toss up. Most of the men I know who were raised by their mother only have something of a twisted view of the female role. They expect their wives/gfs to be their mothers...so on. The BEST guys I've ever dated...and there have been at least 9 or 10 have ALL been products of two parent homes.
But it is a toss up. -
I can see that. There is one major pitfall though: the single mother has to be willing to accept the way that boys grow up. Would probably work best in a rural setting like out on a farm or a ranch or a logging camp where their masculinity is called upon often, including for work.
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My experience mirrors MadameX's. The boys I know that did not grow up with negative male roles models in their early years grew up to be men. They respect women and do not dodge taking responsibility when it comes to doing their share of family chores. The ones I'm thinking of don't ever use the term "womens' work". They treat their wives as equals and not as servants.
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It takes a woman to raise a real man. -
Come on now mighty bug....
The hell kinda ??? Is this-
It is my week of a topic type by the looks of it. Has Holly raised any boys into men?
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Well I have a 13 year old step son who I love dearly!!!! He is gonna make an awesome husband one day!!!!
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Ah 13..the age when all the fun begins...well, for the 13 year old that is
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Yea this is gonna sound so funny,but me,dusty(ted's 1st ex) and Ted was at his jv football game cheering him on last thur. You know what is even funnier.....
I started to realize how much TJ is loved.... Ted has 2 ex wives(well I'm bout to be) just wait it gets better... dusty...ted's first ex-wife has a mom...and wouldn't ya know dusty's mom is married to my cousin mike. There is no inbreeding I promise..anyways they were both at the game plus my mom(yaya) was there...and my bro and his gf and kids.....anyways I was just thinking looking at all of us as disFUNctional as we are we raise good hearted kids!!!hahaha -
@He is gonna make an awesome husband
I pity the poor chap.. hope he gets a befitting wife if he is ABLE! -
The hell is that supposed to mean?
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Moms never tell sons what women really need.. Men need to be like men to get the best women
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What? Men need to be like men....um if your a man then aren't u a man...
Oh my lord -
There is a difference between being a man and being "like" a man... anyhow I know you get the idea
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Kids need a man and a woman really to get both sides of things. Men and women look at things different in life. I would have missed out without a mom and a dad both raising me.-
Mikeny, I agree that it's ideal for a child to have both parents, but the idea that "men and women look at things differently" as a class is a little ridiculous. Surely you don't actually believe that the roughly 150 million males in the United States all look at things one way while the roughly 180 million females see them in another (substantially similar) way?
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While I don't agree with any total generalizations...lets not be ignorant to the fact that men and women ARE different. And thank GOD. Gender roles are VERY real, and there is nothing wrong with that.
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If the woman's smart, she'll let the land be his father. Let him go out in to the woods, hunt (with bows and arrows if you're concerned about gun safety), fish, paintball. As long as she is willing to respect his male side, he'll develop it on his own.
I think it may actually be worse for a single mom to raise a daughter then a son, though I suppose in worse case my mother is a living example that it can be done. -
If the woman's smart, she'll let the land be his father. Let him go out in to the woods, hunt (with bows and arrows if you're concerned about gun safety), fish, paintball.
In a city, which is where the vast majority of these boys will be raised, where will they be able to do as you suggest? -
In some cities you can find vast public parks and open lands (even better). You won't be able to do all of that, but you will be able to do some of it. For the aspects you can't do that in, go on trips out in to the country.
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In general terms. How would a woman know what a boy is going through in early life when they were never a boy? Both sexes are a must when someone is growing up and going to school until they are 18.
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She doesn't. But maybe if he learns on his own he'll understand it deeper.
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And you don't think single mothers or single fathers take the time to learn what's going on, asks male or female relatives to help, asks the pediatrician to help, or perhaps provide age appropriate health books from the library?
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Depends on the boy and the woman. My ex is the biggest sissy and acts just like a woman in alot of ways because his mother raised him but I have met several men that their mothers and grandmothers raised and they are fine they just show a little more compasion that other men do. And that is not a bad thing.-
My ex was raised in a two parent home, but was MUCH closer to his mother. He's kind of a sissy too (whatever that means anyway).
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I think that's mostly the result of a society that values the masculine side too little. I know plenty of kids with two parents who are even worse I'm sure.
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LMAO!
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Yes, a woman can "raise a boy into a man." It happens all the time.
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In fact I think that the only person who can raise a boy into a man is a woman. -
Where I'm from, most woman tend to raise mostly 'mammas boys'. Thank goodness I was raised by my father! -
Yes I believe so just like how a man can raise girls into women. I think this is something to do with commitment and responsibility. It doesn't matter if your boy thinks differently than the rest of the males. It just means he is special than the rest and therefore as Amybyrd said that's not a bad thing.
To touch the topic about guns above. Sure guns were never allowed at home. But I did play with guns when i was with the boys. That is something you can't get away with even if it wasn't allowed in school. But you will always know what is good and bad.-
@It doesn't matter if your boy thinks differently than the rest of the males
That says it all ... they would create non-conformist males who will experience conflict in their lives and that may hinder their progress -
Non-comformist? People by nature will conform to the norms no matter what they think. Have you tried working in an office? People will try their best to keep their jobs, friends and social status. If you think that way, tell that to people who have been home schooled. Aren't they successful? You underistimate the power of motherhood and women in general if they think that way ;P
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Can a woman raise a boy into a man? Is this possible? Can a woman alone raise a young boy into a REAL man throughout all the stages in his early life?
IMO this is a non-issue. Since men first created weapons and wars, and fought and died in wars, women have been raising sons alone. Moreover, in all the stages of early life in most families, mothers play a more immediate and dominant role than fathers do in the raising of most boys. So "yes," Of course, a woman can raise a boy to be a a man. In fact, history demonstrates that some of the most famous men in the world over the course of time were raised by their mothers. -
yes... i believe so... all myths and mythical and actual characters are testimony to this.... let it be..great Alexander or many more...sages and mythological characters....
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It is possible for a single mother to raise a son to be a man, but I think it is less likely that a boy raised by just his mom will grow up to be as well adjusted as a boy with a father. Of the guys I have known/dated, the ones raised by their mothers alone were not as mature and responsible as the ones with a dad and some of them seem to cling to their mothers too much. For instance, my ex-husband used to go see his mom every single day and he told me very plainly that if there was ever a dispute (i'm an easy person to get along with) that involved his mom and me, he would always choose his mom.-
Then it is no different from guys asking their dads about their opinions on girls. It is always a big issue when a mom is involved than the meddling of the dads.
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I just don't think a spouse should choose their parents over their spouse. My new husband is awesome. If he is talking to anyone (even his parents or siblings) and I try to call him, he tells them jokingly, "I gotta go. I got a bigger name on the line."
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Actually i personally know someone who like your ex-husband would choose him mom over the spouse. And he was even raised by both parents. The only difference is that according to him , his mom is a 'dominant' type. So you see it doesn't matter who raised you. What is important is how it has been done and what you turned out to be
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yup @ celticmusicfan!
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of course we can. just like a man can raise a girly girl daughter. -
I don't understand this question. If she has to, she will. You can find plenty of women who have done this.
I think a better question would have been, "Can a woman raise a boy into a man better than a man?"
Is that what you are trying to find out?
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