Discussions
DEAD BEAT... DADDYS
Posted by HollytheHousewife • 8/15/09 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: baby daddy, dead beat daddy, scrubs, sorry ass man
I have this cousin that is staying with me. She has 3 kids,and is about to issue another.(I know very irresponsible). I am their dad more than their dad is. Even my adress is listed on their birth certificates.
I think its pathetic that my cuz has to pay him to babysit and pack lunches
Just to get him to spend time with them.
My ? Is why. Why do soooooo many men help make babies,and have nothing to do with them. I truly don't get it. They are a part of them. They are literally their flesh and blood.
User Comments
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Because women let us get away with it. -
So you're saying its our fault that a man won't love and support their own flesh and blood. I'm not just taling finacial support either
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sure, break his ankles with a sledgehammer... then he'll stick around
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Im saying that maybe the woman, should be more selective of who she f**ks
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Tehehaha, id like to break more than his ankles....if u get my drift
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*slowly backs away*
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Db ... u are right,but it is her hubby. I'm asking in general. Why men don't connect,love,bond,and support with their own flesh and blood
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Haha....u saying ur a dead beat daddy,travelosity
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Holly, some men just aren't paternal.
Some women aren't either, I have seen plenty.
If they have one good parent, it's not ideal, but should be fine. If she finds a suitible stepfather, that is great too but not a nesessity. Having caring family to help them out is also good for them, and not to be overlooked.
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I agree with DB (maybe not in general, but about this specific guy). Why would she pay the guy money to get him to spend time with his own kids? If he cares that little about them, I say kick his ass back to the stone age, and find a guy who is willing to be a good quality stepfather instead.-
Rainhat, there is a lot of data to suggest that regular contact with dad makes a huge difference in things like school performance, drug use, early teenage promiscuity, etc. Many mothers find themselves in this position, doing whatever they have to in order to keep dad in their children's lives to minimize the damage to the kids. -
I'm sure keeping dad in the kids' lives is beneficial, but in what context? To keep a dad in these girls' lives by any means possible, when it's obvious he really doesn't give a rat's ass about them, just doesn't sound beneficial in any way. I just can't believe that it's better to have a guy around who doesn't care at all, than to have a guy around who actually does care and wish them well, but isn't their dad.
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the statistics here may be deceptive. In GENERAL the situation is better for kids who have a dad in their lives, however this situation doesn't sound any healthier than a single parent home. Perhaps the most important thing is for the parent who actually loves her children to set a good exmple for them.
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Agit8r, I agree that the statistics are somewhat skewed because of course many of the fathers who remain involved do so because they're actually concerned about the children's welfare and/or enjoy time with them--but I think you might be surprised by the degree to which that's NOT true. This is something that's been studied in great depth over the past 30 or so years, and the bottom line seems to be that something is better than nothing (barring physical abuse, drug addiction or some other dramatic factor like that).
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did they include statistics on rent-a-dads?
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She does it for her girls sake. They love their daddy.
Now what "good man" do u know is gonna marry a girl with 4 kids.-
Exactly that kind: a "good" man.
And about doing it for the kids... What do you think it's going to do to the kids when they find out that their dad is only willing to hang with them when he gets paid to do so? There's a self-esteem killer if ever I saw one.
Your cousing is enabling the dead beat daddy to keep being a dead beat. He's making money, so if he doesn't care about the kids anyway, he now has even less reason to start caring. -
There are plenty of good men who would marry a woman with four kids.
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Yes, if they ever found out he was being paid, it could be devastating.
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Well hopefully they won't find out,but they want to see their dad. Is she supposed to say ur daddy doesn't love u.
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I don't think it's a question of *if* they find out, but *when*.
If he really cares as little as you say, what happens when your cousin can't pay him anymore? Of the douchebag decides it's time to up the price? Or just gets drunk and tells the girls himself just for the hell of it? These things do not stay a secret. -
You asked if she's supposed to tell them their daddy doesn't love them.
Of course not. She can plan it out and be tactful about what she tells them. She should never say bad things about him, no matter how she feels. it will only hurt the kids.
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ASTOPOFBLOG MEET ME IN THE PARKING LOOT, Please?-
Whats this have to do with anything?
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oh shut up!
i posted it in the wrong thread and now it's too late to remove it
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Well I know this is gonna be one of the points I argue in DC
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Uh... why? What's DC supposed to do about it? Force assholes to not be assholes? How?
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Exactly.
What's the goverment supposed to do about it? They can enforce financial and medical coverage, but that's about it. -
They probably won't do a damn thing but I'm sure as hell gonna talk about it
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I think you are insane Holly.
And I mean that with the deepest respect.
If you get the $6000, please consider using it for professional help. -
If you want to, then knock yourself out. But again... Why? What is it you would like them to do?
I don't think the problem here is that DC is unwilling to do something about this, but I honestly don't see what they *could* do, even if they wanted to? It's not like the government can force anyone to start caring... -
ur right the gov't has nothing to do with dead beat daddy's. I'm just saying that when I get to DC I'm gonna get some press,and I'm gonna talk straight to the BABY DADDY
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ur right the gov't has nothing to do with dead beat daddy's. I'm just saying that when I get to DC I'm gonna get some press,and I'm gonna talk straight to the BABY DADDY
I wouldn't if I were you. If you're going to DC to work on your cause, I would recommend using any publicity you get for promoting that cause, and nothing else. If you go off on a tangent and start talking about something that the government has no part in (and can't do anything about), it's only going to distract and take attention away from your cause, and it will make you look unfocused and scattered.
If you single out one person and start criticizing him in public, you're going to look even worse. I would just focus on one thing at the time, and try to do a good job with the main reason you're going to DC in first place. But it's up to you, obviously.
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Some men are just not cut out to be fathers.
My father for one! He thinks he has done great job by his standards but in reality he just doesn't get what it is to be a father.
My husband and I are going through a very rough time financially. I do not expect money from my father but I did hope he would offer at least moral support.
All we got from him was a phone call this weekend saying he just bought a brand new 2010 Mercedes Benz 350 fully loaded and got a great deal because he paid cash.
This was after I told him we are most likely selling our house at the end of this month due to our financial crunch!
He said "that's too bad"!
See, some men just don't get it and never will!-
some people are just self-centered losers. I'm sorry that your dad is one them
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Thank you so much Agit8r!
You just showed more compassion than he ever has!
When children are brought up with that type of man in or around their lives it is "imperative" that they are given an extra huge helping of self esteem. They should be nurtured daily! I hope she does not teach them to hate their father but instead learn to deal with someone like that and perhaps even understand him if they can. This way they will not blame themselves and will be able to move well beyond him!
I am serious about this because a man like that can do irreparable damage to a child's psyche with repercussions felt for years and years to come!
Holly I hope your cousin put's the children first at all times.
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Yes some people are just sorry ass sons of bitches and I'm gonna start preachin that in my cause to. I'm gonna take back my country and what it was founded on. Pc is fixinna be thrown out the window
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Preaching????? Holly we all know there are as you say "sorry ass sons of bitches" out there. What is preaching about it in your varied cause going to do? Really?
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look I'm not fixinna turn this into a bash holly thread. I just want men to MAN UP and take care of what's theirs. That is how it is supposed to be.... not complicated at all
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No where was it implied that it was even close to be a "bash Holly" thread. YOU just sent it there!
I have no time for this behaviour Holly! Goodbye
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What exactly was your country founded on Holly?
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morals and values....treat others as u expect to be treated (not rocket science)
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No need to be rude Holly...we were just asking you to explain a convoluted idea!
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lets not get off subject and please watch your language.
I think if a man is man enough to knock up someone then he needs to be man enough to take care of the baby! This can be avoided all together by just not getting with a loser and letting him knock yo up. -
Rainy I'm sorry you don't understand simplicity. TREAT OTHERS AS U EXPECT TO BE TREATED..... That's all u need to know
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You're right Holly. I don't understand SIMPLICITY.
Done with you.
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bye bye
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why do you link drop?
read the
bc rules
please
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it does don't it? "DEAD BEAT PARENTS" THEIR IS NO SUCH THING AS AN ILLEGITIMENT CHILD ONLY ILLEGIT PARENTS
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So kb when I get the time we should do a blog 2gether,that'll be fun
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well I guess I'm gonna head on over to the other side... To my TWEEPY TWEEPS,bc they are the BIZZZZNOMB....
@kBrummel... if ur interested in doing a blog 2gether or just anything fun...HIT ME UP in my shoutbox....
HOLLLLLLLAAAAA
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