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Did you change your name?
Posted by angelawd • 28 days ago • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: last name, marriage, name change, taking spouse's name
When you got married, did you change your last name? Why or why not?
User Comments
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My wife didn't change her name.-
Nothing, did she tell you why?
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It seemed unnecessary to her, a meaningless ritual..
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I can certaintly understand that. Plus it's a pain in the butt.
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Yes, I changed my last name. Bowling is just way too embarrassing.-
I understand! It is definitely easier for women to change their names than men, isn't it?
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At the courthouse they gave us a choice. I was not going to give that name to my kids.
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Both my spouse and I changed our names. She was O'Mara, I was Croft, and now we're the O'Mara-Crofts. Fortunately, our last names didn't rhyme...that would suck.-
My husband and I did the same thing. It was much easier for me to make the change than him! But at least we shared equally in the pain of changing our names on every bill, account, and so forth.
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yes I did because I didn't care either way and he wanted me to. But when we divorced I did not rechange it even though he wanted me to. I figured every time I wrote it, spelled it out over the phone, or said it, it'd teach me a lesson about making bad choices.-
Yeow! That's a painful lesson.
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I did because I deserved to, after waiting 'til I was almost 40 to get married! Besides, my bro's carrying our family name on, anyway. I was also ready for a change of pace. Unfortunately my new last name is even more difficult (for others) than my old one, but c'est la vie. -
no - one, i didn't like my ex-husband's family and did not want to be associated with them. two- i have established a career using my maiden name. three - i knew i'd be getting divorced eventually so why deal with a name change. four - my family is known in the community and i wanted to remain associatedw with them.-
You knew when you got married that you'd be getting divorced? -
yup - but I wanted to get married, we'd been together for six years already and fool that i was, i figured we could make it work. just short of our 4 year anniversary, i left him. even my mother asked me the night before if i was sure i wanted to do this LMAO but we had a GREAT wedding!
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How awful! I've always wondered what happened to those folks who split up after a long relationship and a short marriage. So sorry it didn't work out for you.
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I'm thinking of changing my name to Thatcher Longstroke...because it's catchy.
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People would certainly remember that one.
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I did. I just always figured I would and didn't see a reason not to. I'm family with my husband now, so why not share a name? For those who say it's sexist, I see it as a choice between my father's name or my husbands - both are men. So what does it matter?
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Did you ever think of asking your husband to change his name?
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I didn't at first but it was too confusing to a lot of people so I changed it. -
I never did get married BUT if I do in the future. I'm getting rid of "Wilcox". Can you imagine being stuck with a last name like that all of your life? School years were horrible. -
no. because I married him he did not buy me. -
Hell no. My name is too awesome to change. -
Spouse and I married in 1970 and both of us kept our own surnames. This was because I had read Betty Friedan in the 1960s and it seemed medieval to merge myself into his identity.
There was no problem with separate surnames, until the children were in primary school. Then people assumed we must be divorced
Now, 40 years later, no-one even comments on our separate surnames.
AroundTheWaygirl, change your name to Wilco (or whatever you like). Then keep your lovely new surname, even after marriage.-
That's a good idea - pick a new name.
When I married my first husband, I changed my name, and then changed it back when I was divorced. This marriage, my husband and I both changed our names. My daughters were teens, and we felt it made a good statement about the equality of our marriage.
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Yes. 1) I figured it was a team deal. You don't have John Elway and the Broncos. If I didn't feel comfortable giving up my name, there was no way I'd give my LIFE to this guy! 2) If he flaked out, I didn't want him to ruin MY name. 3) If I got mad, I could run around doing all sorts of horrible things using HIS name - then, change it back to my maiden name and he'd still be stuck with his name. Very clandestine, I know. And it worked. We've been together 19 years. He doesn't want me screwing up his name!
Real reason? I picked someone who I was honored to share a name with. (Awe! DaniG shows a sensitive side....
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Whaaaaaaat? Half an hour goes by without a response? I'm shocked!
(Brian O'mara Croft whispers, "Dani, several fainted when they heard you had a sensitive side...")
Oh.... -
Congrats on your sensitive side - I don't know you, but sensitivity can be good!
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I changed my name, but part of me really mourned the choice. There was a sense of loss associated with giving up my maiden name.
But, for me marriage was the jumping-off place -- a new beginning. So, I changed it. Over time, my new name has become as much a part of my identity as the old name was. It just took time.-
Hi Midwest! I laugh because my hubby and I moved to my small hometown. Regardless of names, he was known as Mr. Dani for, like, forever! He STILL gets called that now and then.
lol
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Way back in the dark ages when I married there really weren't many who kept their names after marrying. I wish I would have done it, though.-
Never too late, christi, although I would have lots of discussions with spouse first, in case he feels left behind.
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Thanks. I have changed my name on two sites to use my whole maiden name (Not just the initial) as a a middle name and because of its length it kind of dominates!
I know I can change it, but right now the cost is prohibitive for us. As to my husband's reaction, I've only touched on the topic a few times and he has come away from those discussions a bit shaken, but not vocally against it. But before I made any changes I would need to make sure he WAS comfortable with the whole thing.
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No, I didn't - too many career things attached to my name. Plus, as someone else noted, it's a pain in tne butt to do it. -
If I get married I won't change my last name. I'm a published scientist, it would be kind of hard to follow my papers if I have 2 different last names -
I changed my name when I got married the first time... and when I got married the second time... not changing it back either time..I had a lot of effort put into that name and really didn't want to change. Changed it again when I got married for the LAST time and realized I didn't want to keep my 2nd husband's name anymore so changed it.. and not changing it ever again.
When I started writing novels, I like my name, it fits and I don't need a pseudonym so I am going to keep it.
This is it, I'm going to keep this name forever. -
I changed my name because my family name is filled with bad memories...So, I feel better with a new name!-
I'm glad it helped you to have a new name!
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I liked his name better than mine. Even though we are over, I'm keeping the name, the house, the cars... -
Neither one of us changed our names when we got married. We just didn't see it as necessary. We decided if we had children then the boys would get my last name and her last name as a middle name. And if we had girls then her last name and my last name as their middle names.
We had two boys.-
Sounds like a very equal solution...in theory!
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Well it worked for us at least
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When I was married my name changed many times to things that I can't mention in a public forum-
hehe ekim..
In calm moments I remember my husband's name perfectly well. But when I need my him in a desperate hurry, I go "hey Fred, Chaim, Charlie, Alan, Pavel, Boris WHOEVER, the bath has overflowed" ...or whatever the crisis is.
I go through every male member of the family going back 3 generations, but I never use a female name accidentally and I am rarely rude. Well, occasionally.
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