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Did you know that the Flying Spaghetti Monster is Female?
Posted by morgantj • 20 days ago • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: art, atheism, Church, design, flying spaghetti monster, fsm, parody, religion
Did you know that the Flying Spaghetti Monster is Female?
www.travisjmorgan.com/blog/2009/11/01/female-flying-spaghetti-monster/
User Comments
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Duhhhhhh,like that takes rocket science-
Given the common imagery of the FSM, who would have known?
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U mean u didn't know 2 koo 4 skoo??? I shoulda known...
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It's self-evident isn't it?
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Like DUHHH
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You make that sound quite often.
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ur point would be?
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DUHHH, like you don't know.
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DUHHHH,like u know u like it
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yes she looks like she has boobs on her face -
Nah. If it was female, she would be smiling -
Her distinguishing female characteristics are her noodly appendage eyelashes and her tender meatball cheeks. Though females are usually considered to be the more emotional of the two sexes, the melancholic expression is up to the viewer to imagine its meaning. I thought it was a trait that would be unique and unusual, up for debate, something different then what one would expect from the common stereotypical deity.
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Those are 'tender meatball cheeks?' How feminine.
(I thought they were ovaries.) -
@MidwestMom: They could be both. You have to realize that we are talking about the Flying Spaghetti Monster, Noodly be She. If She chooses to have cheeks that double as ovaries, She can have cheeks that double as ovaries. The FSM, Noodly be She, is, after all, the Creator of the universe. -
I guess it's tough for me to imagine -- objectively speaking -- creation coming from the meatball-shaped cheek ovaries of the FSM.
Call me a skeptic. -
Well, I can only depict her as she has revealed herself to me. It would be dishonest of me to exclude her meatballs when they certainly are part of her shapely form. I believe that her meatballs may be part of her figure as a test of faith. One must have faith that she is female despite her having the the biggest balls of all gods.
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That is deffinately tommy metalic rose lip-stick she's sporting,if u didn't know that then u are sooooooooooooo L7
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Is it true that she is rather fashion conscious?
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But of course! With a name like FSM u have to have something on ur side...seriously I thought u were smarter than that.
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Well I'm not. No mere man can understand the greatness of the FSM. She is outside of time, space, and logic. And um... watch out for her wrath when she has her apparent mood swings.
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There is clear proof of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. For example, the reason we don't go flying off the Earth into space is that we are held down by the Flying Spaghetti Monster's noodly appendages. How can we be sure this is true? The average height of humans (not me personally, but in general) has increased over time. The reason is that the population of earth has increased over time, meaning that there are fewer noodly appendages per person, thus there is less force to hold each of us down, allowing humans to grow taller.
There you have it. Absolute proof of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
Don't take my word for it. This and other irrefutable proofs are clearly laid out in the good book, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. -
Joel, excellent comment! That is very good evidence of the FSM. Though who in their right mind could doubt her existence anyways, it really is self-evident. Also, we can't deny all of the miracles that she is obviously the source of. As you said though, it is all laid out in The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
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Nah,no monster can even come close to a real BIOTCH's mood swings. Strike 2,u so don't have a gf or wife do u?
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She isn't just a mere monster, don't let the label fool ya. She is the mother of the universe. If you don't deny her and just accept her, you too can be touched by her noodly appendage. Just ask any Pastafarian and they will testify to her delicious appeal.
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I can vouch for what morgantj says. I have been a Pastafarian for some time. I worship Her noodly glory, allow pasta into my heart and feel truly blessed by the experience. (Until morgantj showed me the truth in this thread, I used to believe that the FSM, Noodly be She, was male, but her being a female does not diminish my adoration for the FSM in the least. If anything, it strengthens my faith because it adds a whole new dimension to being touched by Her noodly appendages.)
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RAmen brother, RAmen!
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Um yeaaaa...uh huh
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Well, since you ask... the central belief is that an invisible and undetectable Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe "after drinking heavily." The Monster's intoxication was supposedly the cause for a flawed Earth.
All "evidence" for evolution was planted by the Flying Spaghetti Monster in an effort to test Pastafarians' faith.
Pastafarian belief of heaven contains a beer volcano and a stripper factory. Hell is similar, except that the beer is stale, and the strippers have STDs. Pastafarians celebrate every Friday as a holy day
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I have long been touched by the Flying Spaghetti Monster's noodly appendages, but I was never sexually aroused by that--until now.
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Scary....
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Blah...
If that looks female to you, I must try not think about your private life-
Blasphemy! Have you seen a better looking female flying spaghetti and meatball monster than that?
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Oh ya.. there's something there a meat "ball" .. but unfortunately, it still doesn't make the cut. Please see your therapist
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It is unwise to hate on the FSM.
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@crazyTsu: I find your disrespect for the FSM to be offensive and insulting to me personally and to my deeply held faith. Your inability to recognize the truth and majesty of the FSM is a clear indication of your weak-mindedness. Unless you mend your ways, your afterlife will be riddled with stale beer and strippers who all have major STDs. You have been warned.
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Stale beer and STD's ... MUMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!
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@crazyTsu: The FSM is the Creator of the universe. If you piss Her off, your mommy isn't going to be able to help you, my friend. She will give you one powerful whack with one of Her noodly appendages. Either that or she will remove the noodly appendage(s) that are holding you down on Earth and you will go hurtling off into the void of space. Her will will be done.
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cant see the plumbing!-
Use your imagination
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wickid.. too many hands!! wow!!! endless possibilities!
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ROFL-
Do not laugh at the Flying Spaghetti Monster. And particularly don't roll on the floor when thinking about Her. It is very disrespectful of Pastafarians, who hold their beliefs very deeply.
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oops, no wonder she's pissed at me. I've been refering to her as "him" all this time.-
Throw a dash of blessed Parmesan cheese over your right shoulder while spinning a silver fork in the other hand and ask for her forgiveness. She may show you mercy.
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Does it matter the silver forks are dirty? I haven't run the dishwasher yet.
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She works in mysterious ways, so it is hard to tell. I would think it would be fine, since some people don't have the conveniences others do and may only have dirty forks. But if she considers you have the ability to clean it but don't, she may be offended. On the other hand, not everyone uses forks, so I have heard that wooden chopsticks are used in Japan.
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Well, I don't have chopsticks, so I'll have to fork her
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This thread is still going on...WOW
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It may have been touched by her noodly appendage, giving it spirited momentum.
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The FSM faithful will keep this thread going forever. FSM is, after all, eternal. Noodly be She. RAmen.
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I have a witness I'd like to share.
My sick son ate Ramen for lunch on Monday. He felt the healing power of noodles.
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MidwestMom: That is but a small demonstration of the FSM's powers, Noodly be She! I'm happy that the FSM has chosen to bless your son. That should be more than ample proof to blast away the last doubts of the few remaining non-believers.
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@MidwestMom. Oh wow! Good for your son! Blessed is he who eats the body and blood of she.
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[Ooh, tj... you're on the edge with that one.]
I think you meant to say broth.
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OMG..
Rock on Pastafarians... All behold the great Noodly one.
(I have so been laughing on this thread... thanks for taking my grumpy thoughts away for a moment in space...)-
Laugh not at the Noodly One. She is a merciful Creator, but don't get on her bad side. She might smite you by lifting her noodly appendages from your your head, causing you to go hurtling off into the void of space. Well, void until your then dead body hurtles there.
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May the Sauce be with you-
Don't forget the meatballs. Sauce AND meatballs.
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I ate the body and blood of the FSM just yesterday. Delicious.
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I usually eat the body and blood of the FSM at least twice a week. It's the pious thing to do.
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I haven't lately... I must be backslidden
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Dude - don't forget the sprinkling of her devout Parmesan...
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@wagerwitch: I can't recall anything in the Gospel of the FSM about Parmesan. Is this a custom of a protestant sect of Pastafarianism or have I not been a devout enough student of the Gospel of the FSM?
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