Discussions
Do you believe in soulmates?
Posted by meridance • 4/14/09 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: Dating, friendship, life, love, marriage, Romance, soulmates, Spirituality, thoughts
Is there one destined mate for each person? Or can we settle with any one of a number of potential partners?
What do you think?
User Comments
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I believe there can be several kinds of soulmate - certainly a romantic one is one variant. However, you can have an intellectual soulmate, without a romantic attachment. You can also have a spiritual soulmate, along similar lines. I believe we get several, either in isolation or in combination. The rarest is to have an all-encompassing soulmate with whom you spend the rest of your life.
In my opinion. -
My cat is my soulmate.
*looks around pensively realizing what a sad statement that was* -
No...
I believe that there is someone out there for everyone, sometimes many someones, but you have to find that person. It does not always "just happen". Though there are those cases where you find the perfect person for you and it might seem like a "Soul Match".
Love is never perfect, people are never perfect, and usually "perfect" relationship are so because of their diversity and because there is just the right amount of friction. -
This same topic has been discussed many times on this forum and very recently too. Excuse me while I locate the link to those threads so I can copy and paste my answer rather than having to type it all out again. Here's the main link to all the threads www.blogcatalog.com/discuss/search.php?q=soul+mate
Is there one destined mate for each person?
Or can we settle with any one of a number of potential partners?
Some people use this definition: the romantic belief that every person soul has a single counterpart and true happiness and fulfillment can only be found by meeting and joining with that one and only one soul mate.
Well, to accept that definition one has to believe they are incomplete and need to find that one and only one person to complete them. Nonsense!
Others use this definition: Soul mate is a term sometimes used to designate someone with whom one has a feeling of deep and natural affinity, friendship, love, intimacy, sexuality, spirituality and/or compatibility.
I don't believe that I or anyone else has one and only one possible romantic counterpart as proposed by the first definition. It's my position that holding onto that “one and only one soul-mate” belief means that we can overlook the other possible partners we could form mutually supportive, and loving long term relationships with.
I believe each of us can have many soul mates who meet the criteria in the second definition I have posted above. I have experienced the fact there are other possible soul mates (refer to the second definition I posted above) that I could have successfully partnered with in this life, aside from the man that I married.
FWIW I blogged about this here:
Love the one you're with
thistimethisspace.com/2009/02/10/love-the-one-youre-with/-
It can also make a great pickup line in some bars. ;-)
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T really did think there was such a thing..but I got that knocked out of me -
Just to clarify. over 30 years ago I married to my best friend who I consider to be one of my soulmates . We are deeply in love with each other but neither of us believe in the one and only one soulmate theory. Neither of us believe that we humans are incomplete individuals who needed to find a counterpart to make us complete. In fact, the notion of all humans all beings are incomplete, and that their life mission is to find completion only in relationship with another human being, a so-called "twin soul" to be misleading and repugnant in the extreme.
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will the soulmate idea work as a pick-up line? -
I believe in soulmates.
Not in the religious sense.. But as finding the one person who completes you in a way that no other can.
I believe it is possible to have several soulmates - but I also think you can find the ULTIMATE soulmate.
I currently am with my soul mate.
And he says I am his.-
aaaw...
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yes, but many don't find them, some are lucky to find one, and some find a couple in their lifetime.-
I have to admit, I relate to wagerwitch, as I have also met a soulmate. It's been 10 years now and from the moment we met, I felt that I had known him my entire life.
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- Some people use the following definition:
Definition 1 - only one soul mate
SOUL MATE the romantic belief that every person soul has a counterpart and true happiness and fulfilment can only be found by meeting and joining with that counterpart. In some cases this search may span several incarnations.
Some people consult psychics, astrologers and so on in an effort to find or attract their soul mate. Opinions differ as to whether soul mates will come together naturally or whether they must earn their affinity. It is generally thought, however, that an obsession with soul mates puts unnecessary pressure on a relationship by creating impossible expectations.
www.is-this-it.com/pages/GlossaryS.htm
Well, to accept that definition one has to believe they are an incomplete human that needs to find that one and only one person to complete them. Nonsense!
Others use the following definition:
Definition 2 - multiple soul mates
Soul mate is a term sometimes used to designate someone with whom one has a feeling of deep and natural affinity, friendship, love, intimacy, sexuality, spirituality and/or compatibility. ... en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soul-mate
I believe each of us can have many soul mates who meet the criteria in the second definition above based on my own personal experience, and my husband's. We have both experienced the fact there are other possible soul mates that we could have successfully partnered with in this life, aside from each other. Moreover, despite that reality we both made the choice to remain committed and faithful to each other in our marriage, rather than pursuing any other sexually intimate relationships. -
@TT
"Well, to accept that definition one has to believe they are an incomplete human that needs to find that one and only one person to complete them. Nonsense! "
It's a definition that seems to work quite well for some people, so insisting that it is nonsense is perhaps a bit dismissive? But obviously, everyone is entitled to their opinion.
Personally I don't think that the belief in a metaphysical soulmate in any way implies that you have to be incomplete by yourself. Rather, I think that hooking up with the right person makes you "super-complete", in lack of a better word. I also don't think there's only one soulmate for each person out there, but there are definitely partners that match you way better than others, some to the point of it being almost magical. I moved from Sweden to Canada and found my Spanish one.
I completely agree with your observation in your later post about the "soulmates" being from similar areas and backgrounds. I always thought that if there really is one and only "true" partner for you out there, what are the chances of that person just happening to live in the same country as you? Those couples must be incredibly lucky...
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I dont want to defy anyone's thinking here but I recently read one of Michael Newton's book where he explores the spirit world in a lot of detail through past life regression. I agree that there is nothing like incompletness that needs to be completed but there is this something over and above our completeness which sometimes can give the feeling of divinity. According to the book, soulmates are souls whom you are especially compatible with and have spent various lifetimes with. They could be one or many in number but the compatibility and closeness with each will vary depending on past experiences. Here with mention to the geography, he says souls usually tend to take birth in certain preferred locations / areas for several lifetimes for reasons on familiarity, being close to their soul families and just plain preference unless there is a lesson to be learn that requires them to move out or for experimentation purposes. It's something like souls have a preference to choose a particular sex also which they usually reincarnate as just because they are inherently comfortable with it since with every reincarnation, their character and attributes relate more to that particular sex and hence it comes more naturally to them.
I just though I will share this here, in case it makes any sense to you guys but ofcourse this is only my understanding. -
@rainhat
You have said: It's a definition that seems to work quite well for some people, so insisting that it is nonsense is perhaps a bit dismissive? But obviously, everyone is entitled to their opinion.
Indeed I am entitled to my opinion and I stated it. I figure that we BC members are all capable of making our choices of definitions and sharing them, as well as, agreeing to disagree without becoming disagreeable.
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@minalthukral
It's good to meet someone else online that is also reading on this subject. I have not read the book you recommend but will probably do so this winter. Is this the one you mean?
Michael Duff Newton: Destiny Of Souls: New Case Studies Of Life Between Lives
Here are three other books on the same subject:
Richard Webster Soul Mates : Understanding Relationships Across Time
Patricia Joudry and Maurie D. Pressman, M.D. Twin Souls : Finding Your True Spiritual Partner
Deepak Chopra's Soulmate -
@timethief
Thanks for the book recommendations. I will sure read these. The book from Micheal newton I mentioned was actually "Journey of Souls"...it's the first one which is followed by Destiny of souls which you have mentioned. The first is better than the second but in whole the concept is an eye opener. Deepak chopra also has this book called "life after death" is very good. I have just finished another one which is "waiting for autumn" by Scott blum. This is also one hell of a book and offers a fresh appeal to the whole subject of life & afterlife. I have posted a review of the same on my blog too.
I am going to learn past life regression this year from the academy here in Singapore. Hopefully when I am done, I will be surer of what is what but this whole concept is certainly interesting. Thanks for the suggestions dear. -
@ minalthukral
Thanks for getting back to me. Now I know which book of Newton's you recommend, I'll read the first one first. Happy blogging and best wishes too. -
sure no worries
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Yes definately, and don't think you have to be 'with' them either, just to know them can be enough... -
I believe I have a soulmate. -
Also,I think it would be torture to know you have a soulmate and could never be with that person.
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- Also,I think it would be torture to know you have a soulmate and could never be with that person.
If there were such a thing as one and only one soulmate in the world for each of us, and I don't believe this is true, then it's reasonable to assume that our soulmate could live in another country and be of a completely different cultural, racial, educational and financial background that we are.
However, that doesn't jive with the vast majority of couples I know who claim they have met their one and only one soulmate at all.
While there are a few exceptions, the vast majority couples I know who make this romantic claim of finding their one and only one soulmate, tend to have lived in the same countries and even regions and cities, prior to their meeting, or else they never would have met. They tend to have the similar cultural and racial backgrounds. They also tend to have come from the same financial classes and tend to have achieved similar educational levels.
I believe the only "torture" is self inflicted. It's derived from clinging to romantic "one and only one" notion based on accepting the belief that individual humans are "incomplete", and the unrealistic and expectations that clinging such notions leads to.
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Tt
Shhh,too many words. That is your belif not mine -
I didn't mean that in a mean way
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Hiking the Appalachian Trail is good way to find soulmates. You can have more than one soulmate - right? Just not at the same time.
So if I understand what Gov. Sanford said - he found a soulmate in Argentina but still has this issue of a family back in SC. IMHO - if he didn't use any taxpayer money then it's his private life and let him hike around if he wants to. -
When I met my husband, I could not express myself well in English and didn't understand him. But we got together very very well. As Paulo Coelho would call it - the language of the Universe...the language without words...
And we both knew right away that we were made for each other. -
Yes, I have solemates for all my shoes.
My wife is my current soulmate. We aren't ALWAYS in sync, but sometimes. -
Soulmates? No-that's a bit too mystical for me. A couple that's happy together and care for each other-yes, definitely. -
I do believe in soulmates and I also believe that with soulmates its not always a rosy way ahead. Soulmates hold your hand to your spiritual journey and hence they sometimes may show us the mirror or make us aware of our mistakes / shortcomings but yet, they have spent many lifetimes with you and hence the familiarity, comfort and completeness a soulmate brings to one's life is unparalleled because it then becomes a reunion of body and soul.
I have written an elaborate view on my blog at ourpastlives.blogspot.com/ regarding the same. -
No. I'll only believe in it when I meet him. Just like I'll only believe in ghosts once I see one.-
I can appreciate what you are saying here though its like I am sure U believe in god...but have you met him :).
On another note I would think even if you believe in him without meeting him, you wouldn't be able to appreciate the intensity of the bond that is possible...so best of luck...I am sure you will meet him one day
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I'm changing my answer... I am my own soulmate
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lol...that is a good one holly and why not, that is probably the first thing to remember about souls...we are first attached to our own innerselves and then to others. i did want to say i understand when you say it can be a torture when you know u have a soulmate but can't be with them...as far as i understand you mean by circumstances or other factors affecting you being with them and it sure can be very shattering
i saw an interview of brian weiss where he was asked by a woman that i met my soulmate, but he has two children and i have three...so if my soul had to decide while planning my life, why did it decide it this way. his answer was that it isn't a coincidence that you meet your soulmate late or in situations that u cant be together...it is driven by higher purposes...either u have to learn other lessons of balancing karma & resposibility with your desires, or maybe its to transform the direction of your life...to open doors to issues you might have but are not willing to address. since the soul in the spirit form is seeing the bigger picture and knows that the love of you and your soulmate is eternal, its easier for it to decide on difficult situations because for it at that time, its just an experience but ofcourse when we come to earth, we don't carry that knowledge so its tough to comprehend
this is only what i understood but i thght i will share this with you...hope it helps
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