Discussions
Do You Chose Passion Over Reason?
Posted by ModelElaine • 1/16/09 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: Dating, love, relationships
If you had a choice between having a relationship with a stable, secure, adoring partner who worships you and does anything you want (goes with the flow just to please you), but you are not passionate about or would you opt for a crazy passionate relationship with no fundamental compatibility (partner doesn't like the same things; one person is a couch potato, likes to stay in, the other is always on the go, likes to party, stay out late etc.; different fundamental values, upbringing etc.)?
If you cold only chose one and there is no option to have both in the same person, what would you chose?
User Comments
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Reason, I think. -
Hmm, I choose Balance. When you need to do that, just do it! When you no need to do that, dont' do that! I'm sorry, but it's what I think. . .
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What do you mean by that? Dating two people simultaneously? What if the second person doesn't want you to date other people?
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i always go with my emotions first, then i reason out after. lol-
agreed...you gotta have love...love is not logical, it just is it's own entity. it is when you learn humility for your mistakes. your lover opens you up and challenges you to become more than you believed you were capable of becoming...I'm just a romantic.
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Reason. Always.
Relationships based on passion alone tend to fizzle out once the passion is gone. And it always goes...there is no passion killer like constant disagreement and friction over differences. -
well passion is great if you just want a bit hanky panky, but long term joy I would choose reason. -
Passion- based on my (very) limited experience of relationships, it's the excitement of the unknown that really keeps the spark going =] -
Neither one of those is a relationship worth entering into. Given those options...I'm doing fine on my own. -
I read this thread earlier this morning and I still can't figure out what I would prefer...why cant I just have it all!!!!
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My husband is actually a bit of both. So...in real life, that's my answer
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Depands on what can be lost chosing either one. -
If it has to do with love, well, passion does mean something there... But reason should always be somewhere, just in case things break the limits -
Passion and reason come from the same root emotions. Kids don't start out with a lot of either. Adults have both. Discounting one of them is not a good idea. They are not mutually exclusive. -
I would choose the stable one. Passion is only temporary. It will eventually grow old and go away. I want some one that will be with me til the end of time. -
The first sentence is basically saying that you are not passionate about your partner. The second sentence is basically saying you and your partner don't have the same passion. In a sense, the two sentences are somewhat similar.
If I have no choice but to choose one, I would choose the second sentence. The reason for that is because the second sentence is saying that there is feelings. If I choose the first sentence, that means I'm not being truthful to myself and just want to be in control. This is a sign of insecurity and will just make the situation worst.
Good question, made me think more than usual. If I did have a third choice, I will not choose these two situations because they don't really flow well with the forces of nature, such as the Law of Attraction. The two situations will bring a lot of unbalance between the relationship. -
A healthy life is about balance, not extreme choices. We should live mostly in the middle gray area, not choosing a black or white choice. -
Interesting answers. Thank you everyone!
I thought about it for a while.
My personal opinion is I could not have a relationship with someone I am not passionate about or am attracted to.
On the other hand, in a relationship that has a lot of passion, there are always problems, such as differences in spending habits, money problems (especially in this economy), lifestyle differences, hobbies, differences in how to spend time, weekends, vacations, how much TV to watch, how much time to spend outdoors, and many more.
I personally tend to stick to relationships with passion and with absolutely no fundamental compatibility.
From my experience, it is rare for me to find someone I have chemistry with, and unfortunately I cannot grow to appreciate a person I am not physically attracted to, no matter how great the person is, it will simply be repulsive to me to even imagine this person as a potential intimate partner in my wildest dreams.
I cannot share emotional intimacy with a person I don't share chemistry with. Most people who court me are fantastic people, but they become friends no matter how great they are. I don't feel drawn to them other than as friends. They are not the kind of people I want a hug from or turn to for emotional support. It is unfortunate but a hug from someone special is precious to me.
A hug from a friend does not carry the deep meaning and the emotional support I need.
I will probably always struggle in relationships where we always disagee on most daily life things in order to keep the passion in my life, but this is just me. Being close to someone special is a wonderful feeling even if our lifestyles do not match, our activities differ, and other major differences are present.
I truly wish I could just use the reason as say, hey I think this guy is laid back and we'll get along great; I think I will fall in love with him; but I simply can't. To me love is a mystery. It's either there or it's not. I wish I could just turn a switch and pick who I fall in love with based on a laundry list and checkmarks on a compatibility sheet. -
If it had to be one. . . passion, passion, passion and a beautiful laugh. -
Yes I do. I am fed up with reason. Reason is suffocating and disenchanting so I would follow my heart and do away with the how's and the why's of things. I leap with my blind faith and let the chips fall. Nothing from now on keeps me from throwing the dice.
Stupid, don't you think? -
Even if you're married to a Queen/King, and they're mad obsessed about you, but you aren't passionate about them all, then the relationship is merely a nuisance for you.
And no matter how much you reason that that relationship is invaluable, financially securing you, at one point, only irritation will result and you'll end up dissatisfied and pondering over your life's purpose over a bottle of wine.
On the other hand, Passion is electrifying. It makes you do things with such energy and enthusiasm, especially when the partner you're passionate about it is concerned with what you're doing.
Passion all the way. Seen old people deeply in love? That's passion, that keeps people going till they die.
Reason is temporary, momentous, Passion is permanent, everlasting and electrifying. -
Hmmm interesting views from all, but when you talk about passion do you also mean lust...? Because to me that is no basis for a stable relationship, only for a quick pick up in a bar !
Also when talking about emotions & feelings towards another person, I fail to see how anyone can include "financially securing" !
Is this really how you go about choosing a partner for life..? Based not on the depth of love you feel, but more on the number of zeros on a bank account !
For me there has to be mutual trust, understanding & above all friendship, my wife is my best friend and always will be, we grow together in the relationship yet we are both still individuals. It does not matter to either of us, whether we are cleaning the house, out with friends, walking along a beach or doing the weekly shopping, just as long as we are together!
When the last thought before you sleep at night, is of your partner & your first thought on waking is of your partner, when your partners happiness means more than your own, then in my view you have found true love.
Hopelessly romantic maybe, but I have found mine, have you found yours...?
Regards Taffy -
The fact is that science has demonstrated that no matter what we want to believe we don't actually have much choice. Decisions are made subconsciously and in matters of love chemistry makes us so blind for a time (around 3 years more or less) that the question doesn't even arise. -
I'd say a balance of the 2.. but if I need to choose only one - I'll go with passion though I must say it backfires 90% of the times but its worth the benefit u receive 10% of the times -
it depends =) -
If you want your life to be interesting..go with passion. If you want safe..go with reason. Just don't expect to have much to write about if you do. -
Nothing in life is secure, nothing in life is easy.. But passion can last a life time..
Just because you get along with someone doesn't mean that person is who you should spend your life with..
I tend to believe the right person is the person who when you look into their eyes no words ever have to be spoken..
True connection with another person just happens you don't have to look for it because when it comes it just slaps you in the face....
Our minds and bodies are complex, because of hormones we mistake fuzzy warm feelings with love... Love is something that doesn't need to be worked on it is or it isn't...
If you are wondering if the person you are with is the right one, you just answered your own question.. You will know without a doubt if they are the right one...
I think the divorce rate is high because, many people get married hoping it will work out in the end...
If you can see life without that person in your life, than you shouldn't be in that relationship..
Always be true to yourself first.-
Well that gets my vote, 10/10 and well said !
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