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Do you despise or make fun of fat people?
Posted by Selvia • 5/21/09 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: http://cosmeticsurgerymagic.blogspot.com/
I feel that fat people too have feelings but they should do all their best to keep fit instead of seeking sympathy.
User Comments
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I don't agree with their weight (I wonder how and why it takes so long for a person to realize one is severely overweight), and I agree with the whole trying to get fit thing. Everyone should dedicate some time to staying fit. Then again, who am I to speak? I'm the king of lazy.-
You are right. I get your point
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I think it's up to them how they will handle that situation, but the thing is, we should not despised them just because they are obese, fat or whatsoever... Being fat is not something we'd all want but some are just born with very low metabolism. no matter how hard they try, it wouldn't be that easy for them to lose or maintain weight.... -
Some have metabolic or other disorders where it is not their fault they are overweight.
I have someone very close to me who has a genetic disorder taht contributes to weight problems, as well as affects his vital organs, bone and ligament structure, eyesight, you name it.
He has no control over his hunger. He has spent most of his life in and out of hospitals and seeing various doctors. I only just got him into see a genetisist, as we are coming close to a definition of his disorder.
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I feel pitty for them. I don't make fun of them or despise them, I just feel sorry for them. I know there is some underlying issue they haven't dealt with that is preventing them from taking care of themselves, and that makes me sad. A lot of fat people would now say that it is in their genes, but while that maybe true in some cases, they are in the minority and I believe the true problem, in majority of the cases is emotional. -
I've met some girls with weight on them that looked hotter than slimmer girls. How can I make fun of that? -
Depends on how fat. A little extra weight is no problem. And It's too easy to make fun of them, so unless they start it, I don't say anything.
It's not genetic. it's laziness. Any one can be fit if they do something about it. It's just too much hard work doing it. I mean why eat healthy and work out when you can eat fast food and not exercise. Sweating is icky.-
I don't see laziness as the main reason, some were just born with that extremely low metabolism factor...
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That's just an excuse. Proper diet and exercise, ie hard work and they can lose weight. It may limit how lean they can be, but they can still lose weight.
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Low met or they eat at McD's far to often getting their big mac, greese fries and diet coke.
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It is possible for a large person to be fit eg sumo wrestlers. Making judgements about people based on their size is a bit weird.
Today some cultures find larger body size more attractive. Indeed in the past almost all cultures preferred a larger body size because it signified health and prosperity. These days it is the fashion to be slim/ thin for exactly the same reason. Not sure how that came about or if it will last but there you go.-
Well... While it may have been a fashion some time in history (and it was) the rationale behind it wasn't based on knowledge of health. While you CAN be fit and over weight, most of the time it's not true, and it's foolish to accept the whole obesity problem because there's some sumo wrestlers that are fit. The majority of obese people will eventually die before their time, and sumo wrestlers have nothing to do with it.
Also, during the times when fat was considered beautiful, the life time expectancy was about 50 years. Wonder why?
Some of the cultures these days that still value fat over thin are actually force feeding their young women to become sexier. They even have to eat their own vomit if they feel they can't handle it no more. Now that's something we should base our values on!! Geesh. -
The other side of the story though is that today people are forcing themselves to vomit in order to be thin. In fact if you added up all the sports injuries, heart attacks and general misery associated with staying fit you could say it is just as dangerous as being overweight.
Body size is largely down to the genetics of the individual. Because of this for some people it is much more difficult to keep their weight down. Making their lives harder for them by singling them out for moral disdain is very unfair.
Beside all this though the question is do you despise or make fun of fat people? Polybore does not. However some people do despise and make fun of fat people. They do not do this because they are worried about the persons health they do it because the person is deemed as not fitting in, to be unfashionable and therefore vulnerable.
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Cutely plump and they comfort themselves
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No. What they weigh and look like is their business, not mine. I have my own life and my own concerns.-
Eloquently stated. What most people fail to remember is that the individual is sovereign; in the sense that a person can choose their own fate, while being "accountable" for their actions, and be beyond reproach of those dissimilar in appearance and viewpoint.
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No! I wanna be fat once in my lifetime -
Who says 'they' seek sympathy?-
True that.. I don't think larger people seek sympathy either.. if anything we are all human beings no matter our size and should all be treated with respect I dont think just becuase you are big.. doesnt actually mean you are a sad person seeking pity.. If larger people want to be fit then they will seek assistance - Gym, morning walks, advice etc but those who are humble the way they are.. good on you..
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The HELL kinda question is that????? Have u lost ur ever lovin mind????? People r who they are and Um let me ask u ..................... Does it feel good to black,latino,christian,muslim,gay,straight,STUPID!!!!!!! How the hell do u get off askin a ????? Like that! As long as that person is happy it's none of ur business if u hate them for being fat! GOOD LORD!!-
HollytheHousewife,why I came up with this question is I am also fat and have been laughed and made fun by people. Now I have put in effort to lose weight and am feeling better. Once a cab refused to take me because I was fat. That is why I came up with such question. No intention to hurt or what so ever.
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Well that cabby is gonna get his one day. WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND!!! U kno I can remember simon cowell makin fun of jennifer hudson. Hachoo OSCAR WINNER! Cough GRAMMY WINNER!!! She is still "THICK" by hollywood standards!!!!!!........IN THE GR8 WORDS OF OUEEN.......FAT BOTTOM GIRLS U MAKE THE ROCK'N WORLD GO ROUND!!!!!!
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Question: Do you despise or make fun of fat people?
Answer: No, I pity them.
I feel that fat people too have feelings but they should do all their best to keep fit instead of seeking sympathy.
I agree to some degree, which is to say that I've heard every excuse for being fat there is to offer from a relative, whose doctors have told him that his obesity is killing him. This is not a case of genetic predisposition. This is a case of an unhappy (depressed) person who is addicted to filling the emptiness he feels within with food --- too much food and with drink -- too much drink. He lead a sedentary lifestyle and the combination is a deadly one.
Although he is younger than I am he may die before I do if he does not take steps to save his own life. His three kids love him dearly and would like him to be alive and well when that last one graduates. They also want him to be at their weddings, and to bounce his grandchildren (their kids) on his knee but at this rate we may be attending a funeral before the youngest graduates.
Obesity caused by food addiction, which is his case has already caused diabetes which is out of control and heart attacks. I empathize but I do not sympathize.-
Nice edit TT Dammit 2 hell BC is such a downer lately!!!!.......I gotta HOLLA
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who says they want your pity? -
Who says they want your pity?
Who says anyone wants what another person may feel for them, whether it's pity or compassion or empathy? No one does. Our emotions belong to us. I love the man I speak of with my whole heart and the pity arises naturally from within me. I have never chastised or lectured him. If I could do anything to help him more than I already do I would.
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erm nice tag " http:// cosmeticsurgerymagic.blogspot. com/"
Lucky for them they can have surgery magic to blast it all away.
"I feel that fat people too have feelings but they should do all their best to keep fit instead of seeking sympathy." No shit? Fat people have feelings! Who would of thought it?
Is sympathy being asked? Why is it any of your business?
How fat is Fat? -
Ya know, as a fat person, I find this whole thread appalling.
I have not always been fat...I was once a professional dancer...so I know this situation from both sides.
First and most importantly, it is none of your business.
It is none of your business why I am fat, why I do not torture myself with dieting, why I accept my weight for what it is, why I am not miserable or ashamed of myself.
It is none of your business whether or not I am fit, if my weight is a result of metabolism or laziness or piggishness at the table.
My weight does not interfere with enjoying my life. It does limit me in some ways, but then going on a diet that deprives me of foods I enjoy limits me in other ways. Who are you to decide for me what limitations are the "right" ones and the "wrong" ones?
I don't feel sorry for myself...why should you? I have a life I enjoy tremendously...not everybody enjoys strenuous physical activity, you know. I detest sports and I hate to sweat...I can only think of three activities that I consider worth sweating for: dancing, horseback riding, and bedroom fun. Should I criticize you and make negative judgments about competitiveness and aggressiveness because you enjoy things I do not?
I do not seek sympathy (nor does any other fat person I know) but I get damned tired of people making presumptions about my entire life, self, and psyche based on nothing more than my waist measurement. How presumptuous can you be? What's it to you if I weigh 100 lbs or 300 lbs? You are concerned about my health? Horseradish! You don't even know the fat lady in the mall you just maligned in your mind, let alone care about her health! You are merely using her as a benchmark against which to measure yourself and then feel superior.
Speaking for ALL overweight people on the planet, my lifestyle choices are mine alone. My fat isn't going to migrate across the room and stick to you like cigarette smoke, it isn't going to contaminate you in any way, so it is not your concern. And don't even try that crap about "it raises medical insurance costs" because statistically speaking, fat people don't cost you any more than skinny ones. Oddly enough, medical insurance will pay for hospitalization if you are anorexic or bulimic and collapse, but it won't pay for stomach stapling surgery or medically supervised weight loss, no matter if the doctor considers the degree of overweight to be health-endangering or not.
And don't mistake my tone for defensiveness, either. I am just thoroughly sick and tired of people ragging on fat people like it was ok to condemn, ridicule, pity or otherwise look down upon complete strangers who have done nothing more than exercised their right to make their own choices. People who are secure in their ownselves do not find it necessary to denigrate others in order to feel good about themselves by feeling superior.
My weight...and the reasons for it...are none of your business. And just like thin people, some of us have issues that manifest in our weight, others of us do not...and you can't tell which is which. So how about just thinking of us as one more variant in the human condition and quit putting value judgments where they are unwanted and unwarranted?-
Great courage, I feel more stronger as a fat person after reading your post
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U shouldn't b sorry 4 who u r!!! I sure ain't!!!! If that means ur big as house as long as ur happy!
Thank the lord my hubby is an ass man!!! I wouldn't get plastic surgery to get boobs either.Just like I don't think someone shoul under go a labotomy if they have a mental "defect" . Just like a gay person should conform bc someone doesn't believe in being gay! WHO R ANY OF THESE PEOPLE 2 JUDGE SOMEONE ELSE????? There is only one judge! Period end of story...... -
There is only one judge! www.youtube.com/watch?v=itmNiTwHOsM
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good on ya Sweet! you make some VERY valid points here
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First of all it depends what you mean by 'fat'. If you mean morbidly obese eating KFC on a regular basis then I feel they have issues that need to be addressed in the same way that anorexic individuals have issues that need to be addressed. Over eating can be associated with emotional issues as much as under eating can so people need to stop, take stock and think as to why an individual is severely over weight prior to judging. I must admit I 'resent' the fact that over £4 billion of the UK tax payers money is spent on treatments that are required as a result of people being morbidly obese whilst people I know and love are denied herceptin for breast cancer, but the NHS is what it is...its a national health service that all are entitled to, I'd hate to be denied treatment myself based on my body shape or lifestyle choices.
As for someone who carries a little 'extra baggage' well that is up to them. Some people choose to enjoy life and food and they are comfortable with their body size. If they are happy then so am I, there is nothing better than confidence and self worth. I don't see why people who are a little overweight should be chastised for their lifestyle choices whilst others who choose to eat less than they should and work out a lot aren't, at the end of the day if you are happy with yourself and not at risk of any serious diseases then that is fantastic.
I absolutely would not make fun of or despise someone who is 'fat'. I have no reason to. I've been on the receiving end of being picked on for being overweight, I deleted a facebook account because I was receiving abuse (1 month after giving birth none the less, shows how dim some people are) It is a vile way to get at someone and pretty much pathetic. If the only way an individual can gain self gratification is by picking on someone else then they have some major issues to address.-
There are some people who eat less and try their very best to lose weight yet they failed or keep failing. The second group is those who stuff their face with all sort of food and choose to be fat, So there are two group of fat people.
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We do not have the right to judge others for personal choices that do not directly affect others. Fat is not going to slide off me, contaminate the room, and stick to you like cigarette smoke. My love handles aren't going to con a bunch of young, vulnerable people into a destructive cult. My dimpled behind isn't going to deplete the planet of finite resources or endanger loggerhead turtles.
Until a fat person asks you for help/advice/opinions/judgment, their weight is none of your concern. Over the past few decades ethnic jokes and disabled jokes have become frowned upon because they hurt people...so why is it ok to hurt the feelings of fat people? Once the feelings of ethnic minorities and disabled people were ignored in favour of selfish self-gratification...we still do that with fat people and get a bonus in the process: we get to feel self-righteous and superior when we can judge fat people as being inferior because of their weight. And the fatter they are, the more inferior they are, so the thinner we are by comparison, the more superior we are.
This whole thread is reprehensible.
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@SweetViolet
Amen!-
Thanks, Rebecca.
I think people who make themselves feel good by trying to make others feel bad have problems themselves: immaturity, selfishness, self-righteousness, poor self-esteem and a serious lack of empathy.
It is not until we can feel good about ourselves without having to compare ourselves to others that we have truly reached emotional maturity and self esteem. And once we have reached that point, we no longer find any reason to take issue with other people's differences seek out what we consider to be their inadequacies, or judge them.
When you have quiet confidence in yourself and you respect others for who they are rather than what they look like, then you've become a whole human being. There seem to be shamefully few of those on this thread.
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Hold, Hold, Hold what i meant by seeking sympathy is " Do this for me cos I cannot bent down". 'Go to shop for me cos I cant walk far"
Those kind of statements.-
That has nothing to do with sympathy.
I am 62 years old. If I was skinny and asked you to do something because I can't bend down, would you consider that seeking sympathy? But because I am fat, it is? Gee...maybe I can't bend down because I wrecked my knees playing tennis or my back was injured being thrown from a horse or I get dizzy when I bend over...or maybe my weight makes it difficult to bend over. What difference does it make? It's OK to ask for help if you wrecked your knees playing some stupid game but not because you are fat? How does that work?
I am one of those people who can't bend easily. I am also fat. Does it make it better to know that my knee, hip and lower back problems predate my excess weight by more than a decade and, in fact, the immobility imposed by the joint problems are a large of part of where the weight came from? Does that make it OK for me to be fat but not somebody else? I certainly don't think so.
The bottom line is it's none of your business! And it is not your place to judge, either. We are people just like you. We come in all shapes, sizes, colours, ethnicities, genders and sexual orientations. What we all have in common is our humanity...which we have in common with thin people as well.
What we are really talking about here is respect...respect for other people's rights, feelings, choices. You have no right to disrespect and hurt the feelings of other people for exercising their rights and making choices with which you simply disagree.
There are lots of reasons people get fat...not one of them any more noble or acceptable than another...and with rare exception, they are none of your business!
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I walk every day, eat a healthy diet, but middle age and menopause has it's own agenda. I also have a serious back problem which makes life a little difficult sometimes. I have NO INTEREST in your sympathy or anyone else's. I have come to terms with that fact that I can't be skinny or do certain things because of my back, but i work around that and maximize what I can do.
Sweetviolet said:"Speaking for ALL overweight people on the planet, my lifestyle choices are mine alone."
Absolutely. I may not always like other people's choices, but that is their problem and they have to live with the consequences.
Selvia said: 'Go to shop for me cos I cant walk far" Have you seen how many healthy people fight for a parking spot right in front of the shop or mall entrance, can't even walk their lazy arses from a few yards away and woe betide they have to take the shopping cart to the cart corral.
Also how do you know that an overweight person isn't fit? This is one of the biggest misconceptions around. -
I for one find the larger ladies very attractive.-
So does my husband...my late husband felt the same way. And those men never sat down to a dinner of rabbit food because the wife was watching her weight!
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There's nothing worse than taking a woman to dinner and she won't order anything. She skips the starter and then asks for a salad and refuses a dessert, life's too short to worry about stuff like that.
To my mind if you are healthy enough and it don't effect the way you want to live your life I say screw other people. -
But Anin at least she would be a cheap date
Hey I am skinny but just fortunate. My metabolism is high, minus the running around with the kids I have not had much of a chance to actually exercise.
However get me to a restaurant and I will definitely order some food. Can take or leave the salad (unless it's Cracker Barrel's grilled chicken salad...yum) but I usually skip the dessert
Not because I am worried but usually ate so much at dinner that I am already unbuttoning pants and have no room for dessert.
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No, but I do cringe when I see an overweight person shoveling massive amounts of junk food down their throats.-
Do you cringe when you see others (including children) stuffing their gobs with fast food junk, or just larger people?
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Anyone shoving their face full of junk makes me sick to my stomach (but we were talking about overweight people here).
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So then it really isn't just overweight people who make you cringe and here is the question. How do you know that the overweight person eats fast food all the time and that it is part of the reason they are overweight?
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I don't.
The question was: "Do you despise or make fun of fat people?"
My answer was "No, but I do cringe when I see an overweight person shoveling massive amounts of junk food down their throats."
I was just merely answering the question that had been asked. -
well I am not trying to pick on you Suzie, it is just that I am wondering why anyone would notice that.I don't know about you but i rarely notice what others are eating or doing at a restaurant (very rarely go to fast food places) unless of course they are slurping burping and farting. I certainly wouldn't want to go to a fast food place and have my meal ruined by having to observe and cringe at the dietary habits of overweight people.
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I guess I'm just observant. I notice a lot of sh!t...this was just one observation that went along with the question.
And I never felt like you were picking on me.
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My whole entire life I've struggled with my weight. I don't recall a time when I haven't fought over my weight. What does talking about a person who is overweight do? It makes them want to hide and not get out. There have been many times I've gone home just to cry and lock myself in my room. I know I am overweight and it is much better to ignore it than to comment on it. If you as an individual ignore it and don't whisper I personally have more self esteem. Even when I go out to run and play with my children people stare and then I am uncomfortable because of it. For me it is mostly a self esteem issue. My avatar was during a thinner phase and you will probably not see a current picture of me. Do I want sympathy? No, I want people to treat me like they want to be treated. I absolutely refuse to get cosmetic surgery for this. -
Odd how we create "problems" in our culture. My mother was overweight all her life, never gave it a second thought, and my father adored her. Plus, she was one of the most cheerful,serene individuals I've ever met. Now, if she were alive, everyone would be so "concerned" about her, assaulting her with good advice about how better to keep her man or preserve her health. Really, the whole thing is so contrived and fashionable and ludicrous.
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Amen!
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@ nothing profound... well said. -
I ditto the Amen!
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Fat is beautiful!-
I think being happy who you are is beautiful, nothing more ugly and miserable than a skinny person who whines on about her looks and his/her weight.
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"I feel that fat people too have feelings but they should do all their best to keep fit instead of seeking sympathy."
I do not really understand. This is the most stupid statement I ever saw.
I'm sure they do not need your sympathy, or anybody else for that matter... -
Someone can gain weight due to emotional reasons, genetics, laziness...and even medication can make someone gain weight. In this world there will always be people who want to make fun of someone who doesn't fit an ideal image. Watch out for those people because they are the ones we should avoid. -
What the hell business is it of mine what other people do with themselves? Who are we to judge? No one should be chastized for their lifestyle unless they are a tweeker or crack head.-
And even that is a sickness......we r no one to judge anyone.well except it is really hard to except the hitlers and bin laden's,pedophiles,and murdurers of the world,but what goes around comes around!!!
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you are right...I just hate tweekers...they piss me off
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@ my monkey.........haha
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I must be from a different culture or something. (Maybe another planet?) But I can't understand why there is so much focus on judging people and focusing on their looks.
The true essence of a person resides in their actions, not their appearance.
You'd think that on a forum where none of us ever see what each other truly looks like, but only read our thoughts as we write them, that issues like size would be irrelevant.
In terms of judging others' lifestyle and health choices, I think it's best to focus on oneself and one's family. Living well is about being a whole person, not reducing someone to their body mass index.-
can I get an AMEN!
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Amen!
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Lordy, Lordy. Sing it brother!
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at least there are a few rational people here...I sometimes have my doubts.
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Glory.halelujah praise GOD brotha!!! Tehehehaha
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I feel that fat people too have feelings but they should do all their best to keep fit instead of seeking sympathy.
I think you should know they have feelings. I would hope you know for a fact that everyone has feelings.-
I thought I was the only one who had feelings! This changes everything!
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Monkey LOL
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I think we should give a break to Selvia.
I'm pretty sure she got the message... -
well the point is people have feelings, including us OVERWEIGHT people, and we have a right to share them, yes?
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I have nothing against fat people, per se, I could stand to lose a few pounds, but there was a story on the news yesterday that really pissed me off. It was a story about how the recession was affecting people. They showed a single woman and her son who lost their home and were now living in a run down hotel. The boy talked about how scared he was of becoming homeless and that he rationed his food so he'd have something to eat later in the day. He was thin. But his mother was obese! How the hell is she fat when her son is rationing food? Hopefully, someone from child welfare saw the story and paid them a little visit.-
Not sure I can respond to your story per se and don't want to make excuses for this mother, however there is a strange paradox with food insecurity/poverty and obesity.
www.frac.org/html/hunger_in_the_us/hunger&obesity.htm
As the Non profit The Food Research and Action Center highlights in this article:"Households without money to buy enough food often have to rely on cheaper, high calorie foods to cope with limited money for food and stave off hunger. Families try to maximize caloric intake for each dollar spent, which can lead to over consumption of calories and a less healthful diet. "
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I don't get it again. I must be getting old.
You mean you would have liked her son to be fat?
Or her to be thin because she has no money any more?
This is absurd-
Yep, we don't know this family, the mother or her health and income circumstances, so how can one judge the situation????
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I don't pity or make fun of them. To me they're just people. If they're nice and treat me right, I'll do the same. -
I neither despise nor pity them. Some people get obese due to their own doing, others have a disease/ailment (whether physical or mental). Either way I don't judge them or pity them. -
U know what? It's fri.!!! Is it 5 o' clock somewhere yet???!!!
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you betcha!
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Hmmmm,what am I n the mood 4? Haven't done sparks lately,c I'm sooooo easy 2 please and cheap 2!!!!
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sparks!! HAHA!
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o my lord what's wrong w/sparks? Not german enough?? haha
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it is a freaking malt liquor energy drink! So trashy!
I like a fine bitter microbrew myself...it makes me feel classy -
well i dont have 2 drink a specific drink 2 FEEL classy! Just like I don't need to wear coture to feel classy! As Long as I'm happy drinkin sparks or a budlight wearin' my wifebeater and holy jeans being barefoot! as long as I'm doin it w/a smile on my face! Which I am! Still LUV ya tho
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that's okay. I am barefoot and am wearing torn jeans too. I am just razzin' ya!
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razzin,I like that word, kinda how I say joshin' ya.
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Well, I hate to say it, but all you nice folks are in the minority as far as not judging.
I am overweight and since I was 13 years old, have been treated with merciless cruelty for my weight. In my lifetime, I have lost and gained a total of more than 200 pounds in roller coaster cycles. In the last two years alone, I lost and gained 60 pounds...twice.
When I was 13, the teasing, the taunting and the cruelty began. At the time, I was maybe 15 pounds overweight at most, certainly not obese by any measure. When the depression and eating disorders began, my weight ballooned by 60 pounds, then dropped just as fast. I have struggled with cycles of compulsive over eating, bulimia and exercise bulimia. There were times in my life when I would eat less than 300 calories a day and do 2 hours of cardio followed by yoga and weight lifting in order to burn off the Subway turkey sandwich I ate for lunch.
I drank water solely to make purging easier. If you drink a glass of water with every couple of bites, you eat less and vomiting becomes much less taxing on your system. I couldn't stop abusing myself until I began seeing a therapist, a nutritionist, and a personal trainer. I got the bulimia under control, but after I stopped the very expensive sessions with my three counselors, the weight began creeping back up again.
Now, I am trying to get back into exercise and eating right, but am terrified that I am going to slip back into my old ways of binging and purging.
I am so sick of people judging me or being taunted by strangers who feel the urge to let me know how ugly and offensive my weight is to them. I am sick of "fat women" being the last acceptable target of discrimination.-
@stillthinking
I am so sorry for every ignorant and judgmental remark that you and others have endured. Making such remarks is heartless and inflicts terrible pain on the person being judged and discriminated against. It says far more about the character person doing the judging and remarking than it does about those who they aim their abuse at.
I sincerely hope that you never ever hear another negative word and if you do then I hope you will be able to ignore it. You are a wonderful and courageous person just as you are and I ♥ you for being you. -
Thanks TT. And I think everyone on this thread should know, this is not an attempt at soliciting sympathy but an attempt at making it clear that overweight people are not stupid, lazy morons and should not be treated as such.
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@stillthinking
I read you and sweetviolet and Shirley all the others loud and clear. None want sympathy. All want and deserve respect. I salute you all. And "yes" I agree that it's sickening that many think overweight women (and to a lesser degree men) are an acceptable target for discrimination. That should not be.
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@still
Wish you all the luck in the world! -
@still ENJOY THE HELL OUT OF LIFE!!!!! 4GET ABOUT WHAT N E OF THESE BARNEYS HAVE SAID N THIS THREAD!!!! U ONLY LIVE ONCE IF U ENJOY DO IT!!!! As long as ur not harming anyone else.
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I despise people who despise overweight people. They are sickos.
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Now, I am being very level headed when I am going to make this comment:
I know of some people who are truly fat who do possess very nasty or unpleasant attitudes.-
I also know very thin people who are truly despicable. There are unpleasant people of every shape and size.
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I don't know, what the hell would all those specific fat, nasty people I've met go through to become who they are.
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Did you read my comments above? I can tell you from experience that a lot of overweight people face really nasty discrimination and cruelty. Maybe they have eating disorders and depression like I did?
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They might have self-confidence issues because of that too.
I understand what you mean. Suffering from such discrimination (or of any kind) can throw you to a downward spiral which can be destructive.
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Hmmmmmmmmm...
Ok - I have carefully stepped around this thread.
I will say this:
Having grown up being a model of sorts (mind you never high fashion or runway thin) - I was skinny until I got very sick.
I went through 10 years of seeing every doctor we could afford or insurance would cover, and I kept getting sicker. Which meant less and less activity for me. In fact, I became almost housebound during that time.
Any food I ate was not processed properly and because so, I gained an additional 80 pounds after gaining 60 pounds from being pregnant.
during the 10 years that I put on weight - I noticed something VERY HORRIFYING.
I was the same person...
But PEOPLE treated me differently.
No more doors being held open for me.
No more cute smiles.
No more CAN I GET YOU THIS Miss...
No more flirting...
No more pick up lines...
No more "I'll buy you a coffee"... A drink... a dinner...
It was an amazing thing to observe.
Chemotherapy came through my life - and I lost 60 lbs during the chemo.
As my body started functioning again, and I could actually start exercising - I mean literally - being able to walk across the room - being able to start walking down the stairs - being able to walk more than 20 feet without feeling like I was dying... I lost even more weight.
I am now just a little pudgy by your normal TWIGGY standards.
I'm less than 150 lbs - (I'm 5'6)
But --- It's strange - I'm older now, and while I don't look WAY old - I get more catcalls, more doors held open for me... more how ya doin's... More winks... More flirtations...
More Hey Baby's...
My hubby has been with me through all of this... The reason I married him was because he was the one who held my head over the toilet when I barfed from the chemo... He was the one who carried me back to bed when I couldn't make it up and down the stairs.
He was the one who loved me NO MATTER WHAT WEIGHT level I was at.
So...
I have carefully stayed out of this conversation...
Because he said to me:
You are the same person now as you were then...
Nothing has changed
You are still beautiful to me
And I love the person you are.
He's right.
Nothing changed about me inside.... When I was heavier - I was STILL ME.
When I am thin - I am still me.
And therefore.... I LOVE HIM.
Think about that folks...
When you see someone heavy or thin --- WHO ARE THEY?
Are they someone you could love inside?
Because if you don't know... It's because you don't know them
The next time you see a heavyset woman out on the street --- will you give her a cat call?
Or will you reserve that only for the skinny Paris Hilton types?
I'm the same person I was --- Either way I was.
I get cat calls now... And I ignore them.
Because why?
Because I'm the same person I was - and I remember.-
Yup...that's the way it is.
Thankfully, there are some men out there who have their heads screwed on straight and I have been fortunate enough to meet and marry two of them. I was 42 and a size 22 when I married my late husband, and 55 and the same size when I married my present husband, both attractive, desirable men.
Being overweight has taught me some things I might never have learned had I been skinny all my life. Anybody who judges another based on their weight, anyone whose opinion of another is based more on their outward appearance than on the human within, isn't worth knowing.
Social attitudes about fat people, today, are roughly equivalent to the 50s attitudes toward minorities and disabled people, and that is just shameful. Everybody here who harbours negative feelings about another person primarily because that person is fat should be just as ashamed of themselves as if they held those feelings because of the person's colour! Stereotyping, prejudice and bias are just wrong, whether it is over gender, colour, religion, weight, or anything else.
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I know some people who have had weight problems their whole life A couple of my friends really struggled with their weight and the worst part is that I eat way more then they do. I never judge anybody by their looks just their personality and attitude. Now if they give me attitude then we have issues, if they treat me with respect then I respect them.
I have had people comment on me being too skinny and telling me I need to eat I should stop being anorexic but these people never went out to eat with me to see I eat more then a lot of people.
People just need to grow up and except people for who they are. Most of the time people who make fun of somebody else are really the ones who have an issue they are not happy with in their own life.
Anyway be happy with who you are and if somebody tries to be mean just laugh at them but do not let what they say bother you. Heck do like I do and tell them to shut up or they will get a bus parked up their...-
I have had people comment on me being too skinny and telling me I need to eat I should stop being anorexic but these people never went out to eat with me to see I eat more then a lot of people.
@chicky
Wow! I have had the same experiences. I'm not skinny at 5'6" and 140 lbs. with the measurements I have, but after the head injury I had 7 months ago I dropped some weight and can't seem to gain it back . Arrgggggh! I can eat anyone under the table and not gain an ounce, even when I desperately want to. -
Chicky and TT, I'm with you too.
I'm 4' 11" and have only weighed (consistently) over 100lbs this past year. I get rude comments.. usually from other women, stares, dirty looks .. usually from other women, jokes, and other not so nice things. Do I deserve it? no more than anyone else deserves comments on their weight or height or hair color or skin color. peopole are people to me and as long as we're each trying to be the best people we can be I have no huge issue with anyone else. -
My daughter is very very slim and has faced these comments too, and in fact a mother reported me to the high school nurses saying my daughter was anorexic and I was ignoring it. She is 25 now and still a very slim size.
As others have said these kinds of comments are appalling, rude and laced with prejudged ignorance. -
Yeah I am 5'11" and weigh about 130-135 lbs. Just don't gain weight. Used to be even worse though used to only weigh 120 and drank calorie shakes everyday with lunch for extra calories.
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Nah, I despise skinny people.
Why would I despise obesity- a quality in others that does not affect me in the least? Skinny people on the other hand... those bi#*!s are plastered all over the media... used by consumer/marketing/ad agencies to make me feel less adequate and want to spend money.
I think one would benefit from asking-
Why don't more people hate the skinny ones? -
Having been both overweight and underweight in the past, I would choose overweight hands down. -
like i said earlier.i just luv being me big ass and all as long as i'm happy
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I am sorry, I surrender used the wrong word sympathy. White flag raised.
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You still don't get it, do you? Let's dissect it and see if it gets through this time. You said "I feel that fat people too have feelings but they should do all their best to keep fit instead of seeking sympathy."
"I feel that fat people too have feelings..." What you "feel" has nothing to do with anything. Whether you "feel" it or not, fat people DO have feelings and they are just as sensitive as anyone else's...and you don't have the right to trample on them for any reason whatsoever.
"...but..." the disclaimer that says what went before is less-than-true.
"...they should do all their best to keep fit..." This is where you overstep the bounds. What other people...fat or thin...do is none of your business. In this sentence fragment you make the presumption that to be fat means one is unfit and imply that to be thin is to be fit, neither of which is even remotely true. The fitness level of other people is none of your business, either, whether they are fat or thin. What if I were to say that all skinny people should do their best to not vomit so they could gain some wait...how many wrong assumptions and intrusive opinions would be contained in that tiny sentence and what criticism of you, a thin person, is clearly implied?
"...instead of seeking sympathy." You can't backpedal on this one. You said it and this clearly indicates how you see a person who asks for assistance. You never answered my question: if a 62 year old woman asked you for assistance because she couldn't pick something up from the floor, would you think she was entitled to your help if she was fat? Or only if she was skinny?
Your brief post indicates bias, disdain, judgmentalism, and a complete lack of consideration for the feelings of a vast number of people, world wide. It further indicates an intolerance of choices contrary to your own and a belief that you, somehow, have a right to set standards...at least in this area...that other people should be following. But the truth is, NONE OF THIS IS ANY OF YOUR BUSINESS! -
I would like to constructively say my piece on this one.......
Selvia, words do hurt people if phrased improperly, and if you want to start a discussion on a sensitive topic, the starting post should be elaborate more on your (constructive but personal) view on it. Of course, say something that is subjective and does not contain any very personal or potentially offensive content. -
oy vey selvia, as SweetViolet said you are not getting it.
You said: "but they should do all their best to keep fit "
It is your presumption, your judgment, of others that is disturbing. You are in no position to determine what they should do, because you don't know anything about how fit they are or not, or why they are the size they are.
when people make assumptions/stereotype or judge others they will get called on it, and that is what this is about, not the weight per se but the assumption. -
I would say that in my case, because of my medical conition I could not lose weight - nor had I any control over what made me get fat.
Gestational Diabetes and Pre-eclampsia and B-bloodtype with ex-husband being a positive, causing a shot of GammaGlobulin - which caused me to get tremendously ill over the next few years... Gaining more weight as my body continued to break down, and my internal organs gave up processing food and more weight sat on.
And then getting so sick, it was pathetic, taking the chemo for 6 months straight - killing the disease, fighting to get my life back, trying to think and walk...
Losing weight rapidly - 100 lbs.
I didn't TRY to get fit.
I didn't care. I just wanted to live.
So - that made the comment seem like people who are obese or fat have ALWAYS the option to seek to get fit.
That fat or obese people MAKE the decision to eat and not exercise.
That fat or obese people choose to allow their bodies to shut down.
It is a blanket statement - to which you raise your white flag - (I did note that) - but without understanding why your words hurt so much.
I did NOT choose to gain weight - nor - did I choose to not be able to exercise.
Nor did I choose to now have Fibromyalgia and Neuropathy.
My weight will vary based on my ability to function now.
What happens when I won't be able to walk.
Should I give up eating because I won't be able to exercise?
Should I force myself to only eat a morsel because I won't be able to work it off?
I think that is sad - some people have no physical or mental control over where they are weight wise.
So to assume - in your words - that "they should do all their best to keep fit instead of seeking sympathy"
I had no option when I was heavier.
AND NOT ONCE did I ask for sympathy.
Not then. Not now. -
Oh gosh I said I am sorry, what else am I suppose to do. all my words were wrong.
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sorry that you used the wrong word "sympathy" or sorry for judging people?
I know you might feel bad about this but you know there is a distinction between just feeling sorry about using the wrong word or feeling sorry you fell prey to judging people.
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I am the kind of person who would "mark up" a person by accessing his/her personality. I never really got bothered in my life about figure and size.
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THat's because you're an awesome person!
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I'm much more flawed than you think really.
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I do not believe that. I think we ALL believe we are internally flawed, when in reality - we are all VERY good people. I trust that about human nature. Maybe I am naive, but I believe EVERYONE has some good and wonderful in them.
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Heh heh, you're just hopelessly optimistic.
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no, never. (an attempt to set in motion a positive stereotype) fat people are really clever and sharp-witted. i admire their ability to endure so much criticism. if i was fat, i'd probably criticize people less because then i would know how it felt to be constantly attacked. -
I think what we're witnessing here is a huge "failure to communicate." I don't think Selvia meant any of the bigoted things that are being attributed to her. I think she was deploring like the rest of us the fact that "fat" people are discriminated against and treated insensitively. She said earlier in the thread that she too struggles with her weight and has been criticized.
"...they should do all their best to feel fit instead of seeking sympathy.' I take that to mean that if someone does feel disturbed by the way they look, it's better to exercise and do something about it then just complain.-
I didn't say she was a bigot but what she said pointed to a level of assumption and judging, which if that wasn't the intended massage it seems all the more reason to clarify, yes?
"I take that to mean that if someone does feel disturbed by the way they look, it's better to exercise and do something about it then just complain."
sure, I would agree if anyone is unhappy with how they look they do something about it, or they just come to terms with it.
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I don't despise or make fun of fat people any more than I would someone who is addicted to drugs or alcohol. Obesity is a state of mind, and an addiction like any other. People can possess genes that make them more inclined to be obese, however it is a complex combination of environment, upbringing, developmental coping skills, habit, etc. that eventually leads a person to become obese.
My mother and several other men/women in my family suffer from obesity, which is common in African-American communities to begin with. My father had his first heart attack at the age of 37. Diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol... all of the conditions that are so directly linked with obesity and an unhealthy diet/exercise regimine run deep in my family. Not to mention the emotional and mental stress and strain that comes along with suffering from obesity. I don't find obesity amusing, and don't find people who suffer from obesity to be worthy of scorn and/or hatred, although I am a firm believer that obesity can be helped and it can be combated.
I feel bad for people with any kind of addiction, including cigarettes, television, internet, food, drugs, alcohol, etc. It's terrible, and our society needs to understand the dangerous mentality behind addiction and do more to combat it in our communities. In addition, we need to do more about combating the images of "beauty" that are being force-fed to our young men and women through the media. Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes!
vyzion360.com -
Good comment. Very well-said. I took a peek at your blog. Looks very interesting.
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Selvia's post title was: "Do you despise or make fun of fat people?"
Suppose that post title had been "Do you despise or make fun of black people?"
or "Do you despise or make fun of disabled people?"
or "Do you despise or make fun of Jewish people?"
Do you think this thread would have gone to more than 100 entries? Or that it would have been yanked by admins before half a dozen posts made it on screen?
So, why would everybody be appalled if a BC discussion was entitled "Do you despise or make fun of black/disabled/Jewish people?", but if it's about fat people, it's ok not only for it to stay up, it's ok to defend, excuse or reinterpret the post?
Why would "Do you despise or make fun of black/disabled/Jewish people?" surely be considered biased, bigoted or prejudiced, but when it's "fat people," it's not?
Not only is the title and subject matter reprehensible, I cannot imagine why this thread has been allowed to continue to exist.-
Very well said SweetViolet! -
Very interesting comment there - In fact - I find it highly relevant.
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I'm really surprised at how ignorant people are about obesity and people with weight issues. It's not all about shoveling food into your mouth. Would you make fun of an anorexic or bulemic person because of their eating disorder? Probably not. Most over weight people are trained that way! Most of them are brought up eating unhealthy diets and not exercising. It becomes habit and it is very VERY difficult to crawl out of. Over eating is an addiction, no different than drug or alcohol addiction. I once watched a TV documentary and this guy got off of drugs and gained a bunch of weight. He said that losing weight was harder than getting off of drugs! A lot of overweight people also have underlying mental issues as well causing them to over eat. Also with today's busy lifestyle it's so much easier to grab fast food instead of making a healthy meal at home. Myself, for instance, I have 3 young children, I work and I go to school! Where do you think I have time to squeeze in working out every day?? I wish I could, but it's very difficult.
Soo all of you people who are so quick to judge overweight people maybe you should think twice before labeling them! Do you think overweight people WANT to be fat? Do you think they want to be made fun of and laughed it? Do you think they DON'T want to be able to do the same things as everyone else does?? No one WANTS to be fat! It's an addiction that is very, very difficult to get out of.
I despise ignorant people! -
It is an assumption and not fact that all "fat" people are unhealthy.
As to those who are unhealthy, it is their choice. -
well the ones who can get fit should. But some can't help it and should learn to find beauty with in there own selves
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Why should they get fit?
Because others believe they should?
It is in fact their bodies and they should be able to keep themselves fat, skinny, chubby, paper thin, whatever they choose.
It is after all their business.
Perhaps some who are fat and are able to do something about their weight are in fact comfortable with their size and do not consider their size to be as important an issue as others might.
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I get everybody's point and have said sorry a number of times. Yes it is none of my business. My words were all wrong, I admitted it. For god sake I did not commit a crime. Everyone makes mistakes. I said I got the point.
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I understand Selvia.
I accept your apologies.
But the discussion is being led on - because while you did apologize, you have indeed brought a very basic thought process out in the open.
You have shown, in reality, the truth of people's thoughts and actions regarding this subject.
I do accept your apology - and believe you truly feel awful about how your words were received and reviewed. No worries there.
But the topic - and the glaring reality of the words will probably remain in discussion for quite some time - until someone sees the truth in Sweet Violet's post.
11 hours ago
SweetViolet
Selvia's post title was: "Do you despise or make fun of fat people?"
Suppose that post title had been "Do you despise or make fun of black people?"
or "Do you despise or make fun of disabled people?"
or "Do you despise or make fun of Jewish people?"
Do you think this thread would have gone to more than 100 entries? Or that it would have been yanked by admins before half a dozen posts made it on screen?
So, why would everybody be appalled if a BC discussion was entitled "Do you despise or make fun of black/disabled/Jewish people?", but if it's about fat people, it's ok not only for it to stay up, it's ok to defend, excuse or reinterpret the post?
Why would "Do you despise or make fun of black/disabled/Jewish people?" surely be considered biased, bigoted or prejudiced, but when it's "fat people," it's not?
Not only is the title and subject matter reprehensible, I cannot imagine why this thread has been allowed to continue to exist.
When the truth of that is sorted out - and discussed - then this thread will die down.
You did hit a sore spot amongst human beings and thinkers alike.
Don't worry tho Selvia - you will be forgiven.
You already are by me.
Hope you can understand that.
WW -
I don't have a problem with the question.
I don't see that you've anything to apologize for. -
WW, it's not the same because no one makes a choice that makes them black, and being Jewish is a belief and, therefore, naturally admirable and with it's own honor. -
Jeremy - that was Sweet Violet's post above - I just highlighted it.
And I understand why Selvia feels the need to apologize. -
I apologize for the mistake but all the same I do believe this needs to be discussed. I don't believe you should, but to treat it as something as obvious as not making fun of people for their skin color or a serious rational religious belief is silly.
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@jeremyjanson: You said "...but to treat it as something as obvious as not making fun of people for their skin color or a serious rational religious belief is silly."
If that is what you believe, then you still fail to get the point.
First of all, your belief system is a CHOICE. You can't change your colour but you can change your religion. So, the fact of something being a choice vs. being inborn is irrelevant.
What is relevant is that everybody has feelings and other human beings do not exist to be abused for our amusement, regardless of what aspect of the people you target for abuse. What is most relevant is that, as we become more enlightened as a society with regard to the rights and feelings of others, SOME of us seem to not get the point...other people do not exist for your amusement...and merely shift the focus of their casual, oblivious cruelty from one target to another. It is no longer socially acceptable to make derogatory cracks about black people or disabled people, but fat people are still fair game.
It doesn't matter what you target, the derision hurts. It doesn't matter if you think or mean it as a joke...the derision hurts. It doesn't matter if you think it is silly or not...the derision hurts. And it doesn't matter if you want to believe it or not...THE DERISION HURTS!
And you don't have the right to hurt people for amusement. -
Selvia has apologized, and the need for rebuttal and argument is not needed anymore.
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@Azure---you may want to go back to the first line of my above comment and note that it is specifically directed to Jeremy, not Selvia.
As long as people keep coming up with ways to rationalize or justify this behavior, the need to rebut their rationalizations will remain.
As said before, this entire thread should be taken down. If it was about despising black people, it wouldn't have lived long enough to get six posts. But since it's about fat people, it's apparently perceived as acceptable...proof in and of itself that there is a problem. -
Understood.
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SweetViolet - Religion is a choice but it is a very naturally honorable choice of sacrifice, putting it on a higher plain then failure and mistakes. In any case, I find your behavior very judgemental, and what I am arguing is that inflicting this guilt on Silvia was wrong and you should apologize. As you youself put it, "your belief system is a CHOICE," and I choose to believe the way I believe and you must persuade me, and that is all there is to be said. And people have the right to ask questions, especially if they are good enough not to act on them until they receive answers.
And you yourself are "deriding others" by judging in me intentions and actions I have not done. That is derision, and you should apologize BY YOUR OWN STATED STANDARDS.
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Don't despise them and will only make fun of them if they are my friend, it's to their face, and I know they will take it well.
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Maybe you just THINK they take it well because they don't want to hurt YOUR feelings by showing their pain at your remarks in front of you.
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And maybe you don't know me.
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I make fun of them being fat when they make fun of me for being 'too' skinny.-
Fair exchange.
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It's sad that the stigma around weight runs one way. Everyone wants to be skinny, even those who are the 'perfect' weight. Not realizing that, yes, there are health risks with being too skinny.
Or sometimes high metabolism and actively working on living healthy has a benefit. -
I agree. Some try hard to put on some weight, with little or no result.
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What's worse, there aren't any benefits to being too skinny. You look worse, your health is worse, you have a deteoriating mental state (annorexia strikes hard, I've seen it), you aren't gaining pleasure off your action and you still want to be skinnier.
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In the years I worked as a dancer, I had difficulty keeping weight on. I ate more than 4000 calories a day and worked them off.
I was cold all of the time, especially my hands and feet, and I got sick often and easily. When I got to be about 40 lbs overweight, all of that stopped. I hardly ever get sick (the stats are that Americans average 4 - 5 colds per year...I get one about every two years), when I do get sick, I generally don't stay sick very long. I don't get chilled easily, either.
I was not nearly as healthy when I was thin as I am now.
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I love fat people like a fat kid loves cake. -
Shallow people make fun of overweight people. Why should I care what other people look like? People should focus on themselves instead of making fun of tohers. -
Its not so much what fat people are eating as it is, what's eating them. -
I thought we laid this thread and its insulting implications to rest.
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So did I.
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I could be wrong, but I believe your point is that many members of this community breathed a huge sigh of relief when this thread fell off the front page of the forum. If so, then I freely admit that I was also relieved 22 days ago, when I thought this harangue was finally over. ... SIGH ...
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SweetViolet, my comment about what‘s eating fat people was not intended to be insulting. I am about fifty pounds overweight myself.
Since out of high school sports I have struggled with weight control all of my adult life, you see, I am a compulsive overeater. My feeling is you can’t win a battle unless you fight it.-
We have tried to put this thread to rest by not posting to it. I am sorry it was resurrected.
Bottom line, this thread is insulting to fat people...read the title. Substitute "black" or "Jewish" or "disabled" people in the title and then imagine how quickly this thing would have been yanked by Admin. Many people have expressed biased, even hostile sentiments to their fellows, merely because those fellows weigh more than they think they should. Even the author of the thread has apologized for posting it, once she understood how it has invited egregious insult.
Please, everyone, stop posting to this thread and LET IT DIE.
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I came on to this thread late and didn’t know how traumatic it was affecting some people. Okay, okay I get it; I meant no one any harm by commenting.
However, I would like to say this on my way out the door. I believe ninety percent of dealing with anything in life is just facing it. -
I don't make fun of people who are having some trouble with their weight but if they are open, I do suggest somethings they can do to keep them healthy. I know they are suffering and it does no good to increase stress for them, they already know they have a problem, they are already very self conscious.
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