Discussions
Do You Expect Too Much Out of Life?
Posted by DocNicole • 4/26/08 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: blah blah blah, disappointment, expectations
The other day I was for reasons unbeknownst to me, watching a TV evangelist. He got me pulled in by talking about life's disappointments.
He said that "chronic expectations lead to chronic disappointment"
I heard that and was instantly upset because I realized it was true. Kind of like when my ex-boyfriend replied in an argument once "If life was ACTUALLY like a Danielle Steele novel...then no one would even know who Danielle Steele was..."
Ugh. I hate it that he was right about that too!
So what do you think?
If you suffer from chronic disappointment from life can you simply lower your expectations so that you are always satisfied and in an eternal state of zen?
Or do you just want MORE out of life then you are currently getting and are NOT willing to settle?
Dr. Nicole
kitchentablemedicine.com
User Comments
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I expect out of life what I put in. I don't expect anyone to give anything to me. I have to work for what I get out of life. If I dont get what I want. I work harder and if I still can't get what I want, maybe that is a sign for me to switch my goals.-
That is how I feel too. And shifting away from any sense of "entitlement" really helps to make life that much happier I think.
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I am a metonymic displacement for life and I want more out of myself. Does that answer it?
Actually I am a zen master when it comes to life. I pride myself on almost never having:
- honked at another person
- returned food in a restaurant or complained to a service worker
- fought physcically with another person
I am about as patient as they come. My debates in here over topics are about as non-zen as I get.
I must say (this discussion excluded and others) I do read some of the discussions around here and want a little more substance. So I do have to settle there
But it is still fulfilling... -
Wow had to google the word Metonymic...thanks for teaching me a new word today!
That really does sum it all up, that is if you are working hard for your future self. Right now everything I do is for "Future Nicole"
I am proud of your list! I am still battling a bit of occasional road rage. No one is perfect. I do hate it when people honk at me though...
As for the discussions, I guess we can't always be all smart or philosophical...sometimes we have to just let our brains float around in our heads. LOL -
What you put in you get out, however that doesn't stop you from being disapointed from time to time. -
Absolutely! I believe in really hard work, the American Dream...and am going after it 112%...
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I've been telling women this for years, "Don't expect anything from me and I won't let you down".
My life motto is:
"What I plan and what actually takes place have never been similar"
Why bother expecting anything?-
You must be the perfect boyfriend ekim
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You must be the perfect boyfriend ekim
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No, don't get disappointed which does not mean I settle for less, it just means I have a realistic pragmatic approach to life and what I want out of it. Pretty much in line with what gmoney said.-
That sounds respectable.
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If you help another person, just don't expect anything return... that's my simplest anti-disappointment pill-
I agree. It is tough though when initial helping from your heart turns in to an obligation and you get stuck in a situation that is beyond your control with helping people. Can easily lead to energy sucking.
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I have to say, that I have been very,very blessed in my life. The furthest thing from disappointed. I came from nothing/had nothing. I even had no parents, grew up in group homes and foster care until 17. I turned my whole bunch of nothings into a great bunch of somethings. I really appreciate all that I have and that I had worked so very hard for. I just believe in karma. If you do yourself and others "right", than "right" is returned.-
Right is not always returned.
Have you considered the plight of the Native Americans dealing with white people, or the millions of displaced Iraqi mothers, daughters, fathers, sons of all ages?
It's awesome that your life has been awesome. How do you feel about those who deserved as much as you, but have their houses bombed and their children killed, courtesy money provided by you in the form of taxes?
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@ Mr. Dog. I don't think anyone ever wants to trade shoes with those unfortunate to have to endure some of humanities most unfortunate hardships, that is an entire different playing field than this discussion. This discussion pertains to the average American. Are you implying that feeling happy should only be done with guilt? Ah...you must be Catholic
I have a very stressful position in life at times and occasionally have to remind myself that at least I am not a starving orphan in Africa with flies on my eyeballs,
But that is more of an inside joke between me and myself.
Excpecations out of life are also all relative depending on if you are in a cruise ship or in a Wal-mart or trapped inside a Nazi war Camp. You have to adjust your attitude and your expecations towards the situation.
I doubt any human beings heart does not go out to the historical hardships you are referring to. -
@MisterDog, I don't want to sound like a jerk, but the " plight of the Native Americans dealing with white people", is actually considered most often. I am Native American. I think that because of my "nationality", the resultant factor was the way I was raised and the hardships that were experienced. What I was trying to say in the prior post is that you need to do yourself right, live true. I believe in the way of the world. I believe that if you are truly honest with yourself and with others, not out to get other people because of jealousy/deviance, than the less problems one has psychologically. Wondering if so so is going to return the same, etc. It's less to worry about on a day to day bases.
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Oh *snap*
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Wow! *goosebumps* very well said!!
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No time for disappointment. I'm on the way to my next crisis!-
ROFL...You must be a Murphy's Lawist
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I expect exactly the right things, and d!ckhead god fails to perform his assigned role.
ummm... that was sort of a joke.... sort of.-
It sure does feel like that at times...I know.
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I do demand more out of life, because life CAN be that amazing, and good.
There is a $5 trillion energy industry in the world, and they are withholding energy patents from us. We can run engines on water, without plugging them in, without a battery. Would your life be like you dream it to be if you had such a machine?
www.WilliamBunker2008.blogspot.com. -
That would be phenomenal. Why don't you just make me one?
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I don't expect enough out of myself.-
Nice answer!!
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I only expect of what I'm sure of, rather than expecting of things that I am uncertain...
I used to expect more from life, but later, I realized that it's the other way around, life is expecting more of me...so the best I can do is to do what I can and wait for the outcome. With this, there will be less disappointments (easier said than done, though)...:-) -
Very true. I like the way you phrased that, and that is the responsible way to view things...that we owe life much more than it will ever owe us.
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Though, we can't avoid disappointments because it's part of life, we just have to refer it as life experiences, rather than life disappointments...In that way, we can learn from it, move on and have a fruitful life...
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Yes disappointment is an excellent teacher.
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I lowered my expectations about the people around me and the events that will unfold so I don't get disappointed if what I want didn't happen.-
Earthling, by doing that you your risk also limiting the amount of passion and joy you can have in your life. Feel the pain and feel the pleasure. It's all part of the experience. -
Yes, I do that too all the time... it doens't work though :C
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@Tony...agree with you on that one. Whether it is pleasure or it is pain it is all LIFE and life was made to be lived.
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Most people expect far too little out of life.
I think its Les Brown who says that most people fail in life not because they aim to high and miss but because they aim to low and hit.-
I think that is most def true TOny
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I expect to be rich in my life before I turn 20 years old but it never happened and I am still so broke..-
it all depends on what you mean by rich. For many what you have would be considered extremely rich, perhaps in monetary terms as well as health, friends, family, etc.
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That's true and if you are reading this off a computer that you own, then that automatically places you in the top 1% of the world's wealthiest people.
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@Doc,
Disappointments can be an excellent teacher if we look at it in a positive perspective and learn from it... But if it's the other way around, it can cause us stress, further disappointents and eventually some psychological/emotional problems that will be hard to ignore...:-)
The key phrase here is "Think Positive!" and everything will turn out right...Life is what we make it... -
If at first you don't succeed, bury all evidence that you ever tried.-
JACKPAYNE - i've got one word for you>> FUNNY (LOL)
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well, seriously, i do. I guess the fact that dreams don't really come true overnight often goes over people's head, you know ?
I believe you have to work at it.
If you expect much from life- then make it work out !
don't just lie there and daydream...
does that makes sense ? -
I go for expect the unexpected. I can't bring myself to watch TV evangelists.
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