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Do You Give Money to People on the Street?
Posted by lotusb • 7/13/09 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: street smarts
A friend and I were flagged down the other night by a couple in a stalled truck. They said they were about to run out of gas and needed $7 more dollars for a tank to get home. We exchanged skeptical glances then dug around for cash and handed it over.
Why are we so jaded about helping others out? (We meaning human kind). Do you have certain standards that you apply to giving money to people who may or may not be in need? Do you question their motives or genuine need?
User Comments
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Hell no.-
Hell no to what?
(Morning Danny boy!) -
I don't give money to people on the streets hell no.
And afternoon lotus!
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I give money to people who are performing a service...like music.
but as far as your situation goes I would say yes...most the time as long as the story is legit-
Well, no way to know if it's legit. One could just as easily perch near the side of a road and ask for money so they have enough to support a drug habit...
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I used to give money to people on the street, a couple of dollars here and there. I would buy bottles of cold water for the homeless in the summer. Sandwiches at lunch time. Canned food at drives. I figured that I should give while I could before the economy tanked.
Every Christmas I would sponsor a child and get them what they asked Santa for. Usually, I would throw in a winter coat as well.
I was hoping that when the time came for me to ask for help, that others would be willing to do the same. I haven't hit that point yet, but unfortunately, can no longer give myself.-
Well I can see why one would participate in charity organizations and drives. I too give christmas gifts to kids for drives and donate to certain causes. But I mean just walking down the street, if someone asks for money...not knowing what your donating TO otherthan what they say...do you feel ok giving that away?
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It doesn't bother me. What's the big deal? It impacts me so little and impacts them a lot. Well, at least that is the way I think of it. 5 bucks to buy a sandwich and getting them something cold to drink in the summer is not exactly breaking me.
I always think of it as this. If I was desperate and in trouble, I would want someone to extend a kind hand to me without questioning my motives. -
Well there are a few ways to see it. One is that by contributing to people who may not actually be in need, but are nursing a debilitating drug problem, you are actually enabling the behaivior.
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The homeless are likely to be mentally ill as well as drug abusers or alcoholics. Much of the time, the drugs and alcohol really amount to little more than self medication for mental illness.
I don't think about that. I just think about how I would feel if I was in that situation and how I would want people to treat me. There are several different subsets to the homeless: the chaotic homeless which often consists of the drug addicts, alcoholics and the mentally ill. The temporary homeless who have come upon hard times and will most likely, return to society as soon as they can on their own. Then you have the long term homeless who really just need help to get off the street but are not drug addicts, alcoholics or mentally ill.
I don't think it's right to judge. If you're going to give, give without any kind of judgment on their situation. -
Actually, Still--that is a fallacy. The majority of homeless today are NOT mentally ill or alcoholics/addicts. These days, the great majority of homeless people are the working poor with families.
It is true that if one is mentally ill or an addict THAT PERSON'S chances of being homeless are greatly increased--but this is not the majority of the homeless.
Melinda -
Melinda, I didn't say the majority.
I said mental illness is just as likely as drug addiction and alcoholism. I also talked about the subsets of the homeless. The Chaotic homeless (drugs, alcohol, mental illness), the temporary "fallen on hard times" homeless, and the long term "need a hand to get off the street" homeless.
This is one of the books I read that gave me insight as to how many different types of homeless there are in the world. After I read this book, that is when I stopped judging how the homeless might be spending the dollars you give them.
www.amazon.co.uk/Stuart-Life-Backwards-Alexander-Masters/dp/0007200374
LotusB was the one who was asking if giving money was the equivalent of enabling. I was pointing out that there are other kinds of homeless other than drug addicted and alcoholic. -
You're right--I misread what you wrote. When I read it again, I saw what you actually meant. Thanks for the clarification--it is such a mistaken belief. I teach a couple of sociology classes and my students always come in thinking that all homeless people are in that situation due to mental illness or substance abuse.
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there should be more people out there like you StillThinking ... good on ya -
If everyone did what you did--helping others even in small ways that you talked about, then we all would have all that we need! I think your help is never too small to count! Often, when it's done from the heart, that encourages the receiver just as much as the actual gift! (Also I firmly believe that you reap what you sow and yes, when you are in need you will receive help somehow!) -
In reality, I doubt that the few dollars given here and there amounted to more than what most people spend on specialty coffee in a single month.
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I once gave a beggar some change, put it right in his cup and then I realized he wasn't asking me to put it in his cup, that was his drink. LOL!-
I think I saw that in a movie..
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Yeah, except this really happened. Right in front of the Horton Plaza Mall in downtown San Diego.
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Do You Give Money to People on the Street?
- I'm answering the question in the title only. No, as a practice I contribute only to bona fide charities in my own community. I also do volunteer work for the very same organizations too. Basically we feed, clothe, find housing for those who are in need, and help them set up their households with donated items. Many remain on the emergency feeding program for up to a year.
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I think something such as this is one of the best ways a person can be of benefit to others.
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I give to buskers and street musicians. They always deserve whatever they can get.-
what is a busker?
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- I also give to buskers/street musicians/street entertainers too. Here we provide public spaces for entertainment to take place in and we advertise the performances. The buskers/street musicians/entertainers are registered for appearances in those public spaces and they are excellent at what they do.
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Agreed...I love to see people who use their talents to make money...I think thats a lot more productive than just asking for cash...some people don't even ask...they just kind of tell u to help.
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ca: a busker is a street performer -- juggler, sword swallower, magician, etc.
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like those people at renn fayres?
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Yeah, but usually without the dopey Monty Python accents.
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If I see something like a broke down car then yeah I'll help. Especial here in Arizona with 115 degree weather it only right to help out. People mostly need water for their car around here though LOL-
It is not safe for a woman to stop and help, but calling the state patrol to let them know there is a broken down car with passengers, sure!
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There was a man who was caught pulling the same trick over and over at several locations in our area. Ran out of gas at the local grocery store and needed a few bucks to get gas to get home. So it isn't surprising that people are skeptical, and so they should be but that doesn't mean someone can't make a calculated guess or judgment. All depends on the what, where and why.
So my answer is yes, there have been times I have given, not often but a few times. -
In Denver, the street beggars are shaken down by a gang for protection money. So many of the panhandlers are victims of a syndicate.
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Living in a 3rd world country, there are plenty of people asking for money in the streets and its sad to admit it but you become jaded. Plus its usually for drugs or if its kids asking for money its for their bum parents. Usually I only give to handicapped or older people. I always give money and food to this sweet old man that hangs out by my favorite chinese restaurant.-
jaded, or accepting of the futile reality?
My sister worked in 3rd world country and she said her biggest mistake was giving money because before she knew it others heard she gave and she was hounded for weeks on a daily basis by so many she had to move.
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All the time. I can't help it. I realize they often spend it in ways they should not--but I am a softie and I have been through hell in my life and there but for the grace of the Goddess go I.
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I do when I have cash on me, but that is getting rarer and rarer. I usually just have my ATM card. I have often thought that as more and more people use ATM cards and carry little or no cash, it will be harder for beggars to get any money. -
It depends on the situation. But, I've had some bad experiences too. From a woman that threw the food I gave her at my face, to a guy that asked me for gas money when I was walking into a store and again when I was walking out! -
Sure, I have given money to people on the street. -
This would be normal everyday person LOL
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i do most of the time. not for them but because I love the feeling I get from being a little selfless without rewards. what they do with the $$ is their biz. -
Yeah. I have trouble saying no to people. -
I met a woman in the street while I was going to the bus stop. She said she was hungry so she asked a dollar to buy something to eat. I handed her a dollar and I saw her again the next day asking another dollar. So, I would say no or else you're the one who will live in the street. -
No, I don't. I try to avoid talking to strangers in general. -
Yes, if it has got something to do with charity -
I questione everyone's motives but it all depends on my mood and if I have money to spare at the time.
Personally I think we are always skeptical because we are taught that people always have ulterior motives. -
i think you did the right thing. i get preached to the optimum, still i do, and cant say i regret doing it. -
I do give money to those who ask on the street because I don't know what that person's circumstances are at the time. I know some of the hardships I have been through and there were those who helped me, who am I not to help a fellow human being who is need? Whether they are asking because they need it or attempting to run some sort of scam God knows I have done my part in aiding someone who I felt needed the help. And after all, isn't that one of the reasons why we're here? -
Hell to the mothashutyomouth no. Not to mention I rarely have cash. -
I give to most beggars and always to someone who shows a bit of talent to earn money...Like a mime or street musician or those robot guys. I don't usualy have money most of the time (I'm a student) but I compensate by giving them my lunch or something. Skipping lunch wont really kill me so I give it freely.
Once we had this marathon thing organized by this rich honcho of a well known pharmacuetical company and at the finish there was this huge table full of snacks (all-you-can-eat) so I stuffed my bag with as much stuff as I could. On the way back at the bus stop there was this family consisting of a man, his wife, a small girl and an infant child. After a bit of an argument between the couple, the man approached me and asked me if I could spare some money. He didnt give any explanation why he wanted the money or how his family had reached there and he really didnt expect me to give him anything. I didnt have any change (I carry a bus card) so I gave him all the snacks I'd taken from that marathon place.
Uptil now I have NEVER seen the mixture of shame, gratitude, relief and amazement on a persons face like the mixture on that man's.
Somehow giving that man those snacks just made my day! -
I've helped people in need of help in the middle of nowhere. I never help people who set up "shop" at the busiest corners (only during rush hour) and when they walk up to you either with a sign how they moved to this area and want food or a with a squeegy you can hear all of the change clanging and bulging out of their pockets. -
I have done it before, but being a broke college student.... it is hard to be consistent at it. -
As I mentioned in a previous thread, we have a ton of homeless people here and I mean a ton of them! Within 5 blocks of our home there are 4 temp work agencies and most of the people that work out of there are homeless .. Unfortunately though, at the end of these shifts you always see a crack dealer waiting for those who have just come off of work and I'd say about 80% of them are buying a fix or heading to the local pub straight away.
Do I give them money? Not a chance ... I do appreciate that they work for themselves but that whole $40.00 bucks they get after taxes seems to go to one habit or another.
I have, however, giving to some people that truly look like they need it. How can I tell they need it? I personally feel that if you have any street sense or are familiar with some signs of drug or alcohol abuse that you can generally tell who wants change for what.
Now, it certainly isn't my place to judge BUT ... if you come up to me staggering and swaying away, I'm going to say no. If I see you picking up food out of the garbage, chances are much higher that I will help out in some way ...
I found the best way to avoid this is to take the person and buy them food/drink etc instead of just handing over the change... Not so much out of distrust but to know for yourself that you helped feed someone that day.
I have also seen, on many occasions people going to food banks here then standing outside of a pub and trying to sell thier food so they can get that next fix or hit ... it's a very sad state in this city... -
Sometimes but at other times, food or coffee which is what they say the money is for. Recently I started sending out healing vibrations while stopping to chat. -
It depends. If I detect the scent of alcohol or some other intoxicant, I tend not to do so.
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I freely admit that I am a sucker when it comes to somebody in need, so yes I usually do. I also admit that I have been scammed a time or two, so I am a little more selective when I do give.
So now, if I have a feeling that something may be questionable, then I will usually give something to eat.
This way, I am still helping, but also know that the money won't go to a drug habit or something. -
It all depends. Most times when people are giving me a sob story, I just turn away. It's usually a well rehearsed story.
I drive a truck all over the nation and run into this sort of thing, constantly. One night, I parked for the night at a small fuel stop in GA. A young man came up to my truck and told me he and his girlfriend had a fight and he's locked out of the house and hungry.
First, I gave him a foil pack of tuna and said it was all I could spare. When I peeked, a few minutes later, he had opened the pack and was eating it. Then I knew, he was telling the truth and went to him with a $20 bill.
Sometimes we can find ways to check these people out.Sometimes not. But when they come with hand out, it's usually their means of a living. -
I used to give all the time and still do if I think the person is real. I knew a guy however that made over 6 figures panhandling. He saw it as his job, he had a Cadillac, nice clothes, and would put on a bum outfit for his work clothes. True story-
I have also heard reports that panhandlers, on average make an annual income of at least $60,000.
It's so difficult, isn't it, to try to judge what is true and real.
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I helped out people on the streets when I lived in America after asking about their situation. However, here in Bulgaria, there is not any homeless people like in America.-
Isn't that because there isn't legal recognition of homeless and homelessness in Bulgaria?
www.cuhp.org/admin/EditDocStore/Dandolova.pdf
As for street beggars, maybe you are not noticing them or they are not as many in your area. I have heard there are problems with beggars, especially in tourist areas.
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I used to do that. now i am thinking twice...some people have to work hard for the money indeed. it doesn't come that easily especially in these times.I heard people doing that to support their drug habits. -
When I was studying in Canada I used to live in a nice building. There was this really friendly older man who had a cute cat. Well one day as I was walking through downtown, there he was my neighbour and his cat in the sidewalk asking for spare change...
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I believe that people have the right to make bad decisions and to become druggies and drunks. I also believe I have the right to not fund them in their decisions.
We do not give money to beggars, who often go door to door here. If someone says he is hungry or asks for food, we will give that, and generously. -
Most people on the street have a higher net-worth than I do
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I used to, but a couple of things changed my mind. One was living in Budapest for six months. On my 20 minute walk to college, an army of beggars would launch at me every morning and again when I walked home. There were 3 or 4 homeless people sleeping in literally every single stairway in the area I lived in. The whole experience just jaded me to the point that I stopped caring after a while.
The other thing was a guy who told me that he would sometimes take a week off from his office job to go begging, because he made more money that way.
But I must admit that I once gave a dollar to an obviously drunk man in Montréal who wobbled over and said "Could you schpare a coin, shhhir? I schhwear itsch for alcohol!"-
At least he was honest about it.
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If I have it, I'm happy to share.-
wrong spot
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People on the streets...no. Absolutely not. I have had many people ask me for change in cities like Newark, NYC and Atlantic City. I will tell you that most of those people are who they are because they chose to be. I have offered a couple of times to get people in Newark who were asking for change in a McDonalds a value meal or something to eat. After all they all say they haven't eaten in 3 days (common line in Newark.) Each one of them-take note these were different people at different times-said no I don't really like McDonald's but if you have the money I will go get something somewhere else! Uh...no go away.
Only once did I actually feel slightly bad for not giving money to somebody and that was a guy asking for $1 to get on the bus to get home said he forgot his money. Now this Dunkin Donuts was popular for the people asking for spare change. Told him no I don't have it. He asked somebody else and I saw him walk over to the bus stop and hand it to the driver when he got on the bus. -
Rarely will I give a person money. I have, on several occasions, offered to buy a person a meal. Funny thing about that is that about two thirds of the time you call their bluff. I have been cussed at, called names and once almost attacked for doing this. But the third that accepted, made it all worth it... seriously.
These are heard times for people right now, and I have no problems with people that sincerely in need. You never know when you might need that kind of help yourself. -
i dont give,coz in my country its become a hidden business,where some people arrange the beggars to work for them.
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That happens here, too.
We have a problem with children begging at traffic lights. There was an expose done by a local newspaper a few years back wherein it was discovered that many of the ragged kids begging on street corners actually had decent clothes and a warm, comfortable ride to their spot. Apparently they "worked" as beggars and split their take with their bosses. The reporters actually got pictures of the kids changing out of normal clothing into rags and leaving their regular clothes behind bushes so they could beg at corners.
I no longer feel bad about not giving them money, especially after a couple of them refused food I offered them from my grocery bags.
People come up with the darndest reasons that I should just give my money to them, from needing an operation (hello, we have free government hospitals) to needing milk for their children (so why not ask for the milk?) to needing gas money to being stranded across town with a passel of little kids waiting at home for them. I will give food if asked, but I will not give money.
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I do just about every time. If I have no cash on me, then I will go and use my ATM to get them something to eat at the nearest drive threw b/c the 1st thing that comes to mind is: I wonder how many times these people have felt the negative impact of judgmental people who have no clue about why they are in the situation they are in and the 2nd reason I do it is b/c I think of: do unto others as you would have them do unto you -
Sometimes. I do give them penny... -
To the people who answered no, or not usually, I would like to ask a simple question that makes you go hummm
IF you were approached apologetically by a well-dressed stranger who asks for a dollar to catch a bus and make a phone call. He says he has lost his wallet. What would you do?
If approached in the same way by a haggard-looking stranger claiming to be hungry and unable to find a job, what would you do then?-
I do not give money. I will give food if the person says s/he is hungry, but I do not give money.
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I imagine the homeless situation is much more serious where you live.
Maybe not in terms of numbers but in terms of infrastructure in place to help the homeless.
I would guess it is much harder to find your way out of homelessness there.
Any chance you would happen to have an idea if my assumptions are any where near truth?
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well that depends, if its the type that you mention about well NO, but if you just walk by a sidewalk and saw a poor man, well maybe YES.-
cute avatar
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Where I'm from, people who beg/ask for money tend to be a little agressive. Sometimes with an attitude. It makes me wary of people now-a-days.
Sometimes I just don't have any money to give...and that's when I feel like giving.
END POVERTY!-
END POVERTY, I wish we could all do that.
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I do most times, especially if they're looking hungry. If it's for a drink, I don't. I honesty believe that in blessing others, I will be blessed, pressed down, shaken together, and running over.-
It's sometimes hard to tell if you are being a blessing to a person or if you are being an enabler.
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Yes. To provide some case study to your survey, during the last week - to one kid who have unwisely spent his last bit of bus money home and to a few blind people. I also turned down a few requests, mainly from adults who seemed capable of finding work. And one hermit also turned me down - he was passing my table at lunch and I offered to buy him one. These are nothing big compared to a couple of instances where I got conned or over-billed during the last few months. -
Sometimes, but rarely.
20 plus years ago I spent about two months homeless.
One week of that spent on the street the remainder of that time in a shelter.
Years later after I got my crap together a little bit I began volunteering as time allowed at a shelter.
I know people like to think that the homeless are mostly just people down on their luck, but a good portion of the people I meet made an actual choice to be and remain homeless.
Many of these folks were in fact organized as well.
A group of them would divide up an area of city and be assigned specific section to beg in for the day.
If you were not a part of that group you did NOT beg in those areas of town.
They practiced their begging styles, their approach, etc...
Basically, I learned not to trust them.
Sad, because I also meet plenty of people who really were just down on their luck and were looking for work.
I learned from then that most of those who are not 'professional' homeless won't actually beg for money. They are normally too busy trying to get their crap back together and often too proud to beg.
Many homeless are mentally ill, if it is easily determined that a person is likely mentally ill I will give them what I am able.
Most of the mentally ill are homeless not by choice but because their illness makes it very hard for them to live any other kind of life.
In today's economy however...
you never know who might become homeless. -
If it's somebody that needs gas yea,if it's someone that wants food,I buy em' food. If it's someone that needs a fix,I give em' my number and say life doesn't have to be that way.
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